


The Pain. Look At Me.  Can You See?

by lygerzero14



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:52:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 55,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6217069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lygerzero14/pseuds/lygerzero14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin has a unique condition.  A condition that has grown too big for himself and Suzy to handle alone.  They look to Brian for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by gramegump on tumblr, who wrote an egobang fic (http://gramegump.tumblr.com/post/133780094656/can-i-get-some-more-of-that-egobang-where-arin) with an idea that just stuck with me. This was the result.

It was a chill, regular California morning.

Within the Grump Office, there were no recordings scheduled, no sketches, surprisingly nothing extra was going on, but everyone still had their own stuff to do.

Most of the activity was concentrated in the computer area.

Everyone was there, well except for the duo of Ninja Sex Party, Dan and Brian.

Dan was sitting on the couch in the stream area, a large cushion on his lap. His laptop was on top of the cushion and another one was to his right on the couch.

He had his orange headphones on, his head slightly bobbing to the music only he could hear.

Both his hands were manipulating the two screens. He was listening to the different melodies that had been composed by his partner, Brian.

Speaking of, the oldest Grump was at the piano/keyboard along the wall outside the Grump room. He was playing many different tunes. Mixing together the different instruments, trying to come up with new compositions for future NSP and Starbomb songs.

In the computer area, the rest of the Grumps were working on various things.

Barry and Kevin were at their desks, editing videos from the last recording sessions.

Suzy was near her own desk, going through a pile of mail with Jack.

Ross was also at his desk, drawing on his Cintiq, working on key frames for his Gameoverse pilot.

Last, but not least, was Arin, who was going through his emails and making phone calls for several future correspondences and meetings.

Arin tapped the end button on his phone, and place it down onto his desk.

He let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. Looking at his planner, he couldn’t help but grimace.

It was completely filled up, the next several months were going to be hell.

It seemed that they were getting busier and busier with each passing day.

Arin ran his hand through his hair again, and again let out a breath.

Maybe he really should have someone help him out.

Maybe Jack or even Brian.

Arin shook his head.

No, this was his responsibility.

He was technically the president of the quote unquote company. He couldn’t bring himself to burden anyone else.

And besides, having him deal with all the behind the scenes shit, it allowed everyone else to do what they wanted freely, even though he couldn’t do the same.

In a way, it was a shame. He couldn’t remember the last time he animated anything, that had nothing to do with the channel.

It was a necessary sacrifice, Arin reasoned with himself.

Game Grumps was partially his idea and keeping it going was his responsibility.

On the bright side, at least he was getting chances to do a few things he always wanted to do. Voice acting for instance.

He looked back at the planner.

But still…everyday, more and more things were added.

It was never ending.

The cons were pretty much outweighing the pros, at least from his perspective.

It was just too much.

Arin sat back in his chair, taking of his gunnar glasses, and rubbed his eyes.

He could feel his mind drifting.

His vision starting to blur.

It was happening again.

Feeling lightheaded, Arin reached for his pink headphones, and put them on, as the world faded around him.

Everyone continued working, each absorbed in their own projects.

Ross then stood up.

“Hey Arin. You busy?” He asked looking over the monitors at his fellow animator.

“I could use your opinion on this scen-”

Ross cut himself off, actually looking at his friend.

Arin was staring at his computer screen, without his gunnars on, which was odd, but also his eyes weren’t even focused on it.

Ross, then noticed the headphones and sat back down.

He would ask later.

Suzy pursed her lips, having watched the whole exchange. She went back to opening another package sent by a fan.

She knew she should take her husband home, but she and Jack really needed to get through the mail, it had been piling up for days now and she couldn’t just dump it all on their intern.

She also had other things to sort out, that had to be done before the next day.

She felt bad.

She was the only one who could help Arin right now.

The others didn’t even realize he needed help, to no fault of their own, of course.

Her mind drifted back to a discussion they had about this very scenario.

Arin, being as selfless as he was, understood.

After all, this was the third time this month. He couldn’t expect Suzy to drop everything because of his problem.

Arin’s problem, or more accurately, his mental condition, was definitely not a common one.

Whenever he’d become stressed out or felt overwhelmed, he’d withdraw into his mind.

His withdrawals would get to the point, that he needed someone to take care of him.

It was almost like he was a wooden puppet, without a puppeteer. Waiting for someone to take up his strings.

To be more specific, he needed someone to take control of him.

As odd as it was, having his control taken away gave him necessary rest from whatever he was feeling stressed over.

It gave his brain a chance to mentally reset, so he could begin anew.

On the other hand if no one was there to take control, he’d stay within his mind for various unspecified amounts of time, until he eventually drifted back to reality, no better off than he started.

While it has been an effective way to deal with his stress, there was a side effect.

When his control was given to someone else, that person was,  for a while at least, his whole world, and it caused him to become aroused.

If he got off while in his withdrawn state, it also relieved the pent up tension in his body.

The whole process, had become the best coping mechanism he unknowingly developed over the years as Game Grumps began to grow larger.

Suzy, being his wife, was the only one who knew the depths of what Arin was going through.

To explain his, at the time, odd behavior, she had told everyone, that when he became quiet and has his headphones on, to just leave him be, and that he’ll come out of it eventually.

Hence Ross’ earlier reaction.

On normal occasions, Suzy is able to get him home and take care of him.

What they found worked the best for taking his control and at the same time getting him off, were light BDSM sessions.

Lately though, Arin had been getting progressively worse.

With the continued growth of the channel, more opportunities appeared and they honestly don’t know how long they will be in the fortunate positions they had been gifted.

Collaborations, independent animators, music albums, guests, appearance requests, streams, charities, and just regular Grump recordings were all becoming the new norm and Arin was in charge of or involved in most of them.

As more work piled up, he would quickly become overwhelmed, which would result in him stressing out and that led to him withdrawing more.

His sessions with Suzy had increased tremendously within the last several months, and more concerning, the sessions were no longer alleviating his stress like they used to.

Normally, one session would last him up to a month, but now they would only get him through a few days, before he’d withdraw again.

It was turning into quite the ordeal for the both of them.

Eventually, Suzy was able to get Arin home.

He had withdrawn two more times throughout the day, unsurprisingly not getting any of his work done.

 —————————-

That night, in their bedroom, Suzy and Arin were on their bed.

They had just finished a session.

Arin was lying on his back, still naked, as Suzy, who was dressed in dominatrix garb, gently wiped the sweat and cum off his still trembling body.

The only sounds that could be heard, were several short gasps, as Arin tried to catch his breath.

Suzy slowly paused in her movements.

Arin, noticing, opened his eyes and glanced over seeing his wife deep in thought.

“What’s up babe?” He croaked.

His voice was hoarse from not using it most of the day.

Suzy frowned.

She didn’t really know how to start.

Actually, it was more like her not wanting to make Arin upset.

She looked away, not able to meet her husband’s eyes.

Arin was becoming worried.

He slowly sat up into a sitting position, crossing his legs.

“What’s wrong?”

She brushed her hair behind her ear.

“It’s just…I…”

She took a breath.

“Well…I…didn’t like that.”

Arin frowned.

“Didn’t like what?” He asked not, really understanding.

Her head dipped, causing her hair behind her ear to fall, covering her face.

“Treating you like that.” She replied quietly.

For a moment Arin had no idea what she was talking about.

His mouth formed an ‘O’ as it dawned on him.

Remembering back to the session, although it was mostly foggy to him, he did recall Suzy yelling and hitting him.

He then looked down at his body, just now noticing the many red welts scattered about.

Now that he noticed them, he couldn’t help but wince as the stinging pain registered with his mind.

Arin and Suzy had talked about increasing the intensity of the sessions to see if it would make a difference.

Arin would say the idea was a success.

He felt like his normal self again.

In fact, this was the best he’d felt in months and knew he would be good for a while.

However, Suzy was worse off and he felt terrible, especially since the intensity increase worked.

Suzy was trying her best to hide it, but she was really distressed over the whole thing, and he could tell.

He couldn’t put her through that again.

Arin placed a hand gently on her thigh.

“Suzy.”

He waited for her to meet his eyes.

“It’s alright. We don’t have to do that anymore.”

Suzy shook her head, eyes widening.

“No, I-I can tell it’s better for you…it’s just…” She trailed off.

Arin nodded.

“You’re right. It did help. I feel great, but it’s not worth it if it make you uncomfortable.”

“But Arin-” She started, but he placed a finger on her lips cutting her off.

“Really, Suze, it’s okay. We’ll find another way.”

Suzy broke eye contact. She couldn’t keep looking at the pure sincerity in his eyes.

Why did he always have to be so selfless?

Always looking out for everyone else, except himself.

Arin then slid off the bed, and headed to their bathroom.

“I’m gonna grab a quick shower and get back to the office. Got a lot to catch up on.”

Suzy nodded silently, as the door closed behind him.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around.

The muffled sound of the shower coming through the closed door.

Tears began to well up in her eyes. She really thought she would be able to do it.

And with the way Arin would always put himself last, she figured she would have to be the one to put him first and be able to become whatever he needed.

Yet, it took every fiber of her being to treat her husband and best friend the way she did, and make it through the session.

There was no way she could do that again.

What Arin needed now, she couldn’t give.

She couldn’t do it and it was tearing her up inside.

Suzy was no longer enough.

They needed help, for Arin’s sake.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Suzy was in the kitchen making brunch.

Today was one of their few days off.

Arin had come home late from the office the previous night and was still asleep.

Suzy continued mixing ingredients, humming to herself.

About twenty minutes later, her husband entered the kitchen.

“Mornin’ babe.” He mumbled, as he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Afternoon.” She corrected, with a giggle.

Arin sat down at the table with a grumbled“Whatever.”

He bent over and rubbed the back of Mochi, one of their two cats.

Suzy placed a plate of food and a glass of tea in front of him, taking his attention from Mimi, their other cat, who was rolling around, like the goofball she was.

He began eating, and let his thoughts wander, thinking about his plans for the day.

Suzy grabbed her own plate and drink and sat across from him.

“Are you and Dan still on for Marathon day?” She asked.

She knew that both men were constantly busy, and they always looked forward to the times they could just chill together.

Suzy watched as Arin pulled out his phone and unlocked it, looking for any notifications.

“Yep, no cancellations.” He said, smiling brightly.

“Sweet!” She replied, so happy for him.

It was always a shame when her two boys couldn’t get together outside of work.

All of their lives were continuously getting busier. Though the effect it had on the two grumps was somewhat different, she’d observed over the past couple of years.

Dan, though he would never admit it, was affected the most, she noticed.

Arin then stood up, thanking her for the meal. He placed his plate and glass in the sink and walked out of the kitchen, saying something about getting cleaned up.

Suzy looked down at her food, letting the smile fade off her face.

She actually wanted to discuss last night with Arin, but couldn’t bring herself to.

He was in such a good mood, she didn’t want to ruin it.

He was finally taking a break, and he didn’t need to be worrying about his condition, especially on one of the few days he was able to spend freely with his best friend.

Suzy looked down suddenly, feeling fur rubbing on her leg. She smiled softly.

Mochi had come up to her and was nuzzling against her leg, as if he sensed her mood change.

Mimi was still rolling around, meowing loudly, still in her own little world.

Suzy chuckled to herself at the silly cats antics.

She then reached down and gently scratched behind the male’s ears.

“Thanks Mochi.”

She returned to her food. She and Arin could talk later.

————————-

A couple of hours later, Arin stood outside an older but modest house.

He pushed the doorbell and waited patiently, rubbing his hands together against the oddly cool air.

The door opened, revealing a tall, lanky man, with curls for days atop his head.

“Hey man, come on in.” Dan cheerfully said, stepping aside.

“Thanks brah.” Arin replied, stepping past his friend.

Dan closed the door, as his younger friend slipped off his jacket. Dan took it and placed it in the hallway closet.

He then went to the kitchen, Arin following close behind.

“Barry, gonna be joining us?” Arin asked.

There were a few times, if he had nothing else going on, Barry  would join them. Dan shook his head.

“Nope, just us. He and Ross are doing something with Holly and Mark.

“Cool.” Arin said, leaning against the counter.

Dan opened up the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles.

Placing them on the counter top, he then went to the cabinets and grab what seemed to be a random assortment of snacks.

Looking at the items that were being gathered, Arin couldn’t help but wonder again if Dan and Barry just liked the same stuff as he did, or if they just kept a stock of his favorites.

Sure, he and Suzy kept a few things for their friends at their house, but not this much.

Arin shook his head. It didn’t matter.

“What’s up man?” Dan asked, catching the movement.

“Nothing, just spacing out.”

Dan laughed.

“Well, you better not do that during our marathon.”

“No worries there man.” He said, laughing along.

They both gathered the items and headed into the living room and placed the items onto the coffee table.

Dan then walked up to a shelf filled with all kinds of dvds, boxsets and video games. He reached up and pulled out the first Game of Thrones boxset.

“Is that what we’re watching?” Arin asked taking a seat on the couch.

“Hell yeah, dude. Gotta get you passed the first episode.” He replied, putting the first disc into the dvd player.

Pushing play, he grabbed the remote and walked around the table towards the couch.

Dan smirked, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Oh no Arin! Look out! Gravity no longer applies to me!” He suddenly exclaimed, pretending to lose his balance, he dramatically fell onto Arin, landing across his lap.

Arin burst out laughing, pushing the Dan off.

“Dude, what the fuck!”

Dan laughed as he straightened. He sunk back into the couch cushions, not even bothering to move further away, like he usually would.

Arin raised an eyebrow at that, but mentally shrugged.

He was probably cold. Dan always said, Arin was a lot more warmer than he was.

Honestly, it didn’t matter.

Why did he even notice?

Arin sat back, sliding into his favorite slouching position, pushing the thoughts aside.

The two Grumps watched the series in mostly companionable silence. The need to talk unnecessary without a microphone.

Occasionally, one of them would crack a joke, or a discussion about the characters would arise.

Arin sighed contently, he loved hanging with Dan.

Sure, he was with him constantly for work, but he couldn’t truly enjoy his company when they were trying to be entertaining, and he was focusing on or helping navigate a game.

This was a nice change of pace.

About half-way through an episode, Dan shifted as if he was uncomfortable.

Arin glanced to his side.

Dan was still facing straight ahead, eyes on the screen.

Arin looked back at the TV trying to focus on what was going on.

He wouldn’t have noticed the movement, if it wasn’t like the fourth time it’s happened.

Arin was pretty sure he was looking too much into it, but was the space in between them getting smaller?

Not that he minded, but it was just odd.

More so, that he was actually noticing.

Had they always sat so close to each other?

He knew Dan had finally come around and his ‘no homo’ spiel was pretty much gone.

But that wasn’t just it, was it?

Dan in general, seemed off.

Arin felt like he had missed something. Or more likely it was just him.

Arin rolled his eyes. He was being stupid. They were just becoming closer friends.

Still it didn’t explain why he was noticing.

“Fuck it.” He muttered under his breath.

As the next episode began, he leaned his body a little bit into Dan’s and just let himself enjoy his presence.

Once again, he dismissed his previous thoughts as nothing, and let himself become absorbed into the show once again.

He completely missed the blush dusting Dan’s cheeks.

 ————————

Several hours later, the two were standing at the front door.

They had made it through half of the first season.

Arin was putting on his jacket.

“Thanks again man.” He said with a smile.

“I really needed that.”

Dan returned the smile.

“No problem. We all need a little chill time.”

Arin nodded, as he turned his back to Dan, and bent down to put on his shoes.

“It’s not just that. I mean, we see each other a lot, but it’s nice to just be together, you know? Without it being for work.”

Dan didn’t reply.

Arin finished tying his laces and stood back up.

Confused about the lack of response, he turned to see if something was wrong.

Dan was staring at him with an expression, Arin was pretty sure he had never seen before.

Dan then blinked and it was gone. He was smiling at Arin as if nothing had just occurred.

He then pulled Arin into a half-hug.

“I like spending time with you too brosif.” He said causing them both to laugh. The previous moment passing over them.

Dan waved from the door as Arin walked to his car.

“I’ll talk to you later Ar. Goodnight.”

Arin nodded.

“Sure thing. Night.”

He then entered his car and headed home.

Back at their home, Suzy was sitting on the couch, trying and failing to watch whatever was currently on the TV.

For the whole day, she could think of nothing but the previous night and how they seriously needed to find a solution.

Arin had sent her a text not too long ago, saying he was on his way home.

She really wanted to discuss a possible idea that had been mulling around her head for some time now.

Even though they had at least a month until his next withdrawal, she really wanted something in place long before that happened.

It took them so long to initially figure things out. A lot of trial and error.

There was no way she would be able to take seeing Arin going through all that pain again, while they slowly figured things out.

Suzy jumped as she heard the garage door suddenly open.

“I’m home, babe.” Arin called out.

She let out a breath, calming herself.

Well, it was now or never.

Suzy clenched her fists and steeled her resolve.

“In the living room, hun.” She called back.

One way or another, tonight they were going to find a solution.


	3. Chapter 3

Arin entered the living room, slipping his jacket off and placing it on the back of the couch.

He smiled seeing his wife curled up in the other corner. Arin walked over, taking a seat and leaned over kissing her.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey yourself.” She replied with a smile.

“Have a good time.” She asked, turning off the TV.

“Uh, yeah.” He replied, eyebrow rising.

That was odd.

Why did she turn off the TV?

“What did you guys watch?”

Arin sat back, getting comfortable, placing his feet on the table.

“Game of Thrones. Dan is all about getting me caught up.” He said with a laugh.

“I’m sure he is. I’m glad you had fun. Is Dan doing okay?”

Arin paused, as he thought back.

Remembering all the little things that were no big deal but he was for some reason noticing.

“Arin? Something wrong?”

He shook his head.

“No, it’s stupid. I mean…I guess, I’ve been noticing just how close our friendship is, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Suzy asked, her curiosity peaked.

Arin shrugged.

“You know, how like we sit a bit closer to each other than we used to, how much easier it is to talk to him, and I don’t know. Like, he and Barry have a lot of my favorite snacks. You know, shit like that.”

Suzy’s eyes widened a bit.

Really now?

She shook her head a bit.

‘Oh, Dan. You’re adorable.’ She thought to herself.

“So, um, was there something you wanted to talk about? I mean you turned the tv off and everything.”

Arin felt like the whole conversation was fodder for something else.

Suzy bit her lip.

Well, no use in stalling anymore, at least she got a bit more insight with the whole Dan thing.

“I…well, I wanted to talk about…you know…last night.”

Arin frowned.

“Suze, we already did. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know. I know. Not that part.”

“Then what?” Arin asked, watching as Suzy’s fist curled and uncurled.

What was wrong?

“I was thinking, maybe we should look into…um…outside help.”

Arin’s eyes narrowed.

“Suzy, I’m not getting put on any meds.”

They had talked about that before. Arin didn’t want anything artificial affecting his mind, not to mention whatever side effects it may cause.

“No, No, not that!” Suzy said, frantically shaking her head.

“I’m talking about, maybe finding someone who can give you what you need.”

She watched in silence as her husband let out a sigh.

“What? Like some professional dominatrix or something?”

He really didn’t want to talk about this. His good mood was completely gone.

In a way, he understood where his wife was coming from.

They or more accurately, he was going to be in a tight spot if they didn’t figure out something within the month.

Knowing that, didn’t make the process any easier.

“No, not professionals.” Suzy said bringing him back to the conversation.

“I was thinking someone we trust, like maybe one of our friends.”

She paused, watching closely as Arin digested what she said.

One of their friends?

Could they really ask one of the other Grumps to help with this?

Could he really place such a burden on any of them?

He shook his head.

“…I don’t know, Suzy…”

Suzy sat up, uncurling her legs.

He was hesitant. That was good.

This was where she had to sell it the most.

She could tell he was considering it.

“Honey, we don’t have many options, and who better to ask then someone we trust and work with?”

That was true, if they had one of their friends to help, it would be more convenient.

They would have easier access to Arin, and his problem could still be kept within an easier to contain circle.

Arin bit his lip.

He still wasn’t sure.

“But if you couldn’t handle treating me in such a way, what makes you think one of our friends could do it?”

“Different personalities, sweetie.” She replied easily.

“I may not be able to handle it, but one of them may be able to.”

Suzy could see the cogs working inside his brain, thinking hard.

He really was actually considering.

“Why don’t we just go through each of our friends and decide if they would be able to help or not.” She suggested.

Arin nodded.

Good. Suzy though to herself. This may actually work.

“Now, out of our friends, who would you trust the most with this?”

“Dan.” Arin instantly replied.

Suzy inwardly winced.

She had expected that.

There was a bit of a problem though.

“But…” Arin continued looking down.

“But?” She prodded, already knowing what was wrong.

Arin was the one who needed to say it, to voice why Dan wouldn’t work.

“I would prefer it to be Dan, but he’s too…kind.”

Suzy nodded.

“He would never be able to treat me like I need.” Arin continued, running his fingers through his hair.

“I mean, he still has issues with killing fucking bugs.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Suzy agreed.

Arin let his head fall back onto the couch.

“Ross is a no-go too. He may be a sadist, but he doesn’t actually like causing direct pain.”

Arin fell silent, thinking.

Suzy waited patiently.

She already knew who to pick but Arin needed to come to the conclusion himself.

He needed to have some semblance of control in this.

“Mark?”

Suzy gave him a skeptical look.

“Mark still looks up to you. I’m sure he would do it, but he has a separate channel from ours.” Arin nodded.

“You’re right. He has too much going on…maybe Barry?”

Yeah. Barry could work.

He was strong and dependable.

Plus, he’d been with Arin and Suzy since the beginning of Grumps, back when Jon was still there.

He was, after all their closest friend.

Suzy bit her lip.

He was close. He would figure it out. She knew he would.

Arin sat forward. Could Barry be the one?

Thinking back to his last session with Suzy, the way she yelled and hit him.

Barry could do that. He just knew he could.

The usually, quiet and sweet Barry, in the last few months had displayed so much attitude and sass, he almost seemed like a different person, especially when he was with Bri-

…Oh.

Arin’s eyes widened.

“Brian.”

Suzy smiled in relief. He got it.

Arin stood up excitedly, nearly falling over the table.

“Brian! Of course! It has to be him! He’s perfect!”

Brian, their newest Grump member and also the other half of NSP.

Brian, the oldest and most experienced of their group.

Brian, the guy with a PhD, who could just as easily tear a person down as he could build them up.

Now, the hard part.

How to go about asking him?

Arin turned to Suzy.

“How would I even do this? I can’t just go up and be like ‘hey Brian, ya wanna treat me like shit so I can deal with my stress?’”

Suzy shrugged.

“Well, Brian’s a very direct kind of guy. That just may be the best way.”

“And if he says no?”

“I honestly don’t think he would, but if he does, we’ll just ask Barry.”

Suzy then stood up and walked towards her husband, wrapping her arms around him.

“I promise you, this will work out.”

Arin returned the hug, resting his head on top of hers.

“I hope you’re right.”


	4. Chapter 4

A few days had passed since Arin and Suzy’s discussion.

Arin still hadn’t approached Brian with the proposition.

He was nervous.

Nervous that Brian would refuse, or worse yet try and make him get professional help.

Brian may not be a medical doctor, but he was notoriously blunt and spoke his mind, if he thought it was necessary.

It was hard enough to convince Suzy that they could handle it.

With Brian, it could be impossible, if he was convinced it was for the best.

Despite his hesitation, Arin was at least sure that Brian would be a big help.

He had been covertly watching how Brian interacted with everyone at the office.

Being the type to adapt to different personalities, Arin had a pretty good grasp on Brian’s.

Despite his smaller stature, compared to the other male grumps, he carried an air of dominance around him.

Not only was he smart, but also clever and extremely manipulative.

Arin thought back to the clip he had seen of the Rockband 4 stream, where Brian turned the simple unbuttoning of Barry’s shirt into a sensual show for their fans.

And who could forget the Twitter marriage fiasco with Kevin and the infamous feeding Ross a cup of pudding.

Not to mention the countless things he’d done to Dan throughout the many years they’ve known each other, most notable ‘The Beej’ fanfic he wrote.

Arin, so far, had dodged most of Brian’s attempts on him, not one to give up control easily.

Arin actually hated not being in control or at least unaware of what could happen.

It was one of the reasons he didn’t drink.

But his condition, had given him little to no choice in the matter.

He needed someone to take control from him.

At least, now he could see that Brian was a natural and was someone he could trust.

He just hoped he’d agree to help.

————————-

Noon rolled around, and everyone was discussing what to do for lunch.

There was talk of ordering takeout, but more suggestions of getting out of the office for once and going to a restaurant were winning.

Eventually, it was decided to go to a noodle shop in Little Tokyo.

Arin was at his desk, still thinking of how best to approach Brian, when Dan lightly touched his shoulder.

“Hey man, were you listening? We’re going to lunch.”

Arin smiled up at his friend.

“No thanks, dude. I gotta get this shit finished.” He said, gesturing at the spreadsheet on his computer screen.

“Bring me something back? I don’t care what.”

Dan nodded, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“Sure thing.”

Dan then turned and walked towards his partner’s desk.

Brian was hunched over his laptop, headphones on, his head lightly moving to the music.

Seeing Dan approach out of his peripheral, he looked up.

“We’re going to eat. Want me to bring you something back?” Dan asked, not bothering to see if he wanted to come. He could tell Brian would decline.

“I’m good. Got some leftovers in the fridge.”

“Alright, later.”

With that, all the Grumps, save Arin and Brian left the office.

Arin stared at his computer, completely aware that he and Brian were alone.

This was his chance.

He took a few deep breaths, as his nervousness returned 10-fold.

He had to calm down or he would never convince Brian or be able to talk at all.

Running a hand through his hair, he rolled his chair back and stood up.

He walked towards Brian’s desk, determination pushing him forward.

He watched as Brian’s eyes rose to meet his as he approached.

Arin wasn’t sure what expression was currently on his face.

Whatever it was, caused Brian to frown slightly and take off his headphones.

“What’s up?” He asked as his young boss came to a stop next to his desk.

Brian’s frown deepened.  Arin’s eyes were darting everywhere, not meeting his eyes.

“Um, yeah. So, uh. Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure.”

Arin turned around and headed towards the Grump room.

Brian closed his laptop and followed.

Arin opened the door to the engineer room and entered, he then opened the door to the recording room, and waited for Brian to go through.

Brian raised an eyebrow, confusion clear in his expression.

Seeing the look, Arin shrugged.

“I don’t want the others interrupting when they get back.”

Well, if that was meant to make him feel better, Brian could say without doubt, it failed.

“Okay.” He said walking through the door, feeling just a bit anxious.

Arin, locked the door behind them.

Brian took a seat on the longer section of the couch, while Arin sat on the chaser section.

The silence between them lasted for several minutes, Arin not knowing how to start.

After a few more minutes of silence, Brian cleared his throat.

“Um..Arin? Not that I don’t enjoy your invigorating company…there a reason we’re here?”

Arin had been staring at the carpet the whole time, his hands hanging loosely between his legs.

He sat up, and ran a hand through his hair and swallowed audibly.

“Yeah…um…I-I mean…”

Brain raised an eyebrow. He was becoming even more anxious.

He had never seen Arin like this before.

It must’ve been serious if Arin, of all people, couldn’t bring himself to say it.

There could only be one reason to bring him in here to talk to him alone.

It hadn’t happened many times in his life, fortunately.

Maybe it really was all too good to be true.

Brian braced himself and looked off to the side.

“Am I being fired?” He asked quietly.

It’d only been a few months since he’d joined Grumps, after all.

He knew he wasn’t that great at the newer games and being so much older than all his co-workers, really wasn’t sure if he was bringing anything worthwhile to the channel.

He had taken a risk putting his and his family’s fate in such a young man’s hands.

He hoped he was wrong, but it was looking like he had made a huge mistake.

Arin’s head shot up, hearing the soft question.

“What! No!”

Brian gave him a skeptical look.

“Dude! Come on. You’re great! Besides, I wouldn’t do that to you and your family. Even if that was the case. We’d figure something else out. I’m not that big of a dick.”

Brian let out a sigh, having his previously unknown fears answered. He was right to trust Arin.

“Then what’s going on?”

Arin looked down again. He took a breath.

This was it.

Come on.

He could do this.

Just talk to him.

“Okay, just here me out. Then…like, you can…ask whatever, okay?”

Brian nodded, becoming even more confused.

What the hell was going on?

“So…I have this, um, condition…that happens when I get, like crazy stressed. And um, Suzy and I think that, like, you can, um…help me with it.”

Brian leaned back into the couch cushions, crossing his arms.

Help him with a condition?

Of course he would.

That was a no-brainer. But what kind of condition had him so worked up?

“Well, I’ll do what I can to help. What’s your condition?”

Arin let out a breathless chuckle.

“Okay, so um…this is where it gets a bit weird, like when I get… stressed…I kind of retreat or something into my mind, like, I just shut down.”

“Wait wait wait!” Brian interrupted sitting back up.

“This sounds really serious. Like doctor serious.”

Arin shook his head.

This was what he was afraid of.

“I know what it sounds like, but I really don’t want to be in any kind of therapy shit or on any kind of meds, man.”

He looked down at his clasped hands.

“Suzy and I found a solution, and it does work. We just need more help with it.”

Brian still didn’t look convinced, but nodded.

“If you’re sure? I’ll trust your judgment.”

The unspoken ‘for now’ was clearly heard.

There were some disadvantages to employing an older, more experienced person, Arin observed.

At least, for the time being, he had convinced him.

Now for the rest.

“Go on with your condition.”

“So, like, okay…I need someone to take control-”

“Take control?” Brian interrupted again.

“Yeah, like, take control away from me or more like…” Arin trailed off.

The words dying on his tongue.

“Like?” Brian prodded.

“I…I need someone to…take control of me. Like, Suzy’s been great, but…now…it’s not enough. I-I need more.”

There, it was out, he said it.

Arin let his head drop into his hands, as he felt his face grow hot from shame and embarrassment.

He shouldn’t have agreed to this. He was being naive.

There was no way any of his friends would do this for him.

Brian probably thought he was nuts, and would probably would have him committed.

Arin waited, not looking up, body tense. Negative thoughts continued to flow through his mind, as Brian digested what he just said.

“So..” Brian began.

Arin, surprisingly, tensed up even more as the silence was broken.

The state of his young boss was not loss on Brian.

This was obviously a touchy subject.

Arin was leaving himself bare, with his trust.

Brian had to tread carefully. He felt like one wrong move could ruin their relationship.

“So, let me see if I understand this.”

Arin nodded, letting him know to continue.

“You tend to get overwhelmed with your responsibilities and become so stressed, you regress into your own mind, to the point you need someone to tell you what to do. Is that right?”

Arin nodded again, still not looking up.

He actually hadn’t said that much, thinking about it. But Brian was still able to figure it out. The man really was smart.

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed.

This really sounded like a serious problem.

And if he was right with what he was reading between the lines, he’d rather Arin seek out professional help.

He also knew how stubborn the other could be and how important he was to the livelihood of several of their friends including him, now.

He needed more information. At the least to understand fully what was happening, before committing to the task.

“So, how is this helping you?” He asked, already having an idea of the answer.

A young man, in a leadership position, so much on his shoulders, the overwhelming pressure. It was almost text book.

“Does it like, reset your brain or something, like a refresh? Giving up control, I mean?”

Arin’s eyes widened. He slowly raised his head and turned towards Brian.

That was exactly how it was.

Arin felt some of the tension leave his body. He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was.

Brian was able to figure basically it all out, despite how vague Arin was with his explanations.

Seeing the shocked expression on Arin’s face, Brian knew he got it.

Now, there was the matter, the other part, that Arin was obviously too nervous to bring up.

Brian wondered if any of their other friends would have picked up on what the whole situation really involved.

Barry, as observant as he was, probably would have.

Ross and especially Dan, not so much. They would have needed it spelled out for them.

“Arin…is any of this…” Brian gestured with his hand.

“This situation. Is it…sexual in any way?”

He watched as Arin stilled and tensed back up.

Well, there was his answer.

Brian figured as much, he just needed the confirmation.

The withdrawal thing was different, like some kind of altered chronic stress disorder.

But the control part, in a way he could understand.

After all, there was a subsection of the human population that did that kind of stuff for fun.

Arin also said he needed more. That Suzy wasn’t enough.

If they were talking about BDSM, like he suspected, then what Arin needed was probably a more intense session.

Brian still needed more information though.

It looked like he was going to have to have a talk with Suzy.

Brian didn’t think Arin would be able to coherently explain exactly what he needed to know.

He stood up, and walked the short space to Arin and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Arin. I get it. And…I’ll do it.”

Arin’s body shuddered with relief. He fell back against the couch.

His shoulders felt lighter. All the tension flowing out of his body.

“Really?” he asked, still not believing it.

Brian nodded.

“Yeah, man. You’ve done so much for Danny and myself. Of course I’ll do this for you.”

Arin closed his eyes, with a sigh.

“Thanks man. This really means a lot.”

Brian watched as Arin unlocked the door and walked out of the Grump room.

Sitting back onto the couch, he mulled over what just occurred.

There was no doubt he would help, despite his own personal concerns.

The whole situation was just odd.

And while Brian did have an idea of what was needed, there was still a lot of things he didn’t know.

Standing up, he made his way back to the main office.

He needed to talk to the only other person he knew who had any idea of what was going on.

He went to find Suzy.

Walking across the office, he made note of where everyone else were currently.

Arin and Barry were in the stream area, messing with the monitors configuration. Arin glanced up for a second.

He already knew where he was headed. Barry looked between the two, and nodded slightly.

Brian wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Kevin was still at his desk editing. Dan and Ross were looking through the games on the shelves near the kitchen area.

They must’ve been getting reading to record for Stream Train.

Suzy was at her desk, that was connected to Brian’s. She was currently clicking through many different fashion websites.

“Hey Suzy?”

Suzy looked up as Brian came to stand next to her and smiled.

“Ready to talk?”

Brian didn’t even bother to ask how she knew. Instead he just nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Do you mind if we go for a drive?” She asked, standing up.

He shook his head.  He didn’t mind.

They needed the privacy anyway, now that the Grump room was probably going to be occupied soon.

“Let’s go then.”

The two made their way over to the stream area. Suzy, letting Arin know they were going out for a bit.

Brian noticed he had a bit of apprehension in his eyes. That was to be expected.

Brian was sure he was going to learn a lot of personal things about Arin today.

He also noticed that Barry was seemingly, casually looking between the three of them, while also continuing to work on the monitors.

He looked like he was trying to figure something out himself.

Brian wondered how much Barry knew.

Was he privy to the situation?

If he was, why wasn’t he asked to help?

Brian shook his head, dismissing the thoughts.

He had other things to worry about, he thought to himself, following Suzy out of the building.

Brian pulled on his seat belt, as the car pulled out of the parking lot. They traveled in silence for a while.

It wasn’t until they pulled off onto the highway, that Suzy began to speak.

“So, what do you want to know?”

Brian smirked. That’s one of the many reasons, he liked her. She didn’t bother with small talk and dancing around the issues. She got right to the point.

For a moment he wondered, if she had a destination in mind, or if they were just going to keep driving.

It didn’t matter. Either way, they were going to be out for a while.

Settling back in the seat, Brian let himself get comfortable.

“Alright, first things first.” He began.

“Arin’s regressions, or withdrawals, whatever. Are there any signs that indicate it’s happening?”

“Mm, yeah there are.” Suzy replied nodding.

“So, he usually starts to sigh under his breath more. He also pushes his hair back out of his face, a lot. Like, he does it several times in a row. It’s pretty noticeable.”

Brian nodded.

Thinking about it. He had seen that before. He just thought it was a nervous tick or something.

Suzy continued.

“He stops talking too. Sometimes it’s hard to notice, because it happens gradually, but if you try to talk to him, he won’t respond at all. When he’s fully withdrawn, his eyes are unfocused and glazed over. Also, we’re not sure why, but he puts on his headphones. Most of the time their not even on connected to anything.”

Brian listened intently, committing all the information to memory.

A lot of what she was saying, he remembered seeing at one point or another.

Dan told him before, for some of the odd quirks, it was just something Arin did from time to time.

“Suzy?”

“Hm?”

“You told the others, that this was just a mood of Arin’s?”

“Yeah.” She affirmed, nodding.

“There wasn’t any other way to explain his behavior to the others, without telling everything.”

Brian grunted in understanding.

“It’s best to just keep an eye on him from time to time. He has become aware of his habits, and sometimes tries to hide them.”

Brian figured as much. Then a thought came to him.

“So, I’m assuming, since you had to explain his behavior to the others, there are times when you can’t get to him when he withdraws.”

They all were, after all a busy group of people.

Not usually at the same time, but it happened.

“Yeah, there are times when I just can’t get him home. I’m sure it will happen, even with your help. But he’ll be okay. The times vary but, he eventually comes out of it himself.”

Brian turned towards her.

That was interesting.

He can come out by himself?

“The only thing is, if he doesn’t get a control session, he will continue to withdraw at random intervals.”

Oh, that made sense. It would just be a continuous cycle of withdrawals, until one of them can take care of him.

“Good to know.” He muttered, looking out the window, watching the world pass by.

There were a few more things he needed to know.

“Suzy…what do you usually do for the sessions?”

Suzy glanced over. Brian was still turned away, looking out the window.

She wondered what was going through his head.

They were asking a lot of him.

Learning so much at once, couldn’t be easy.

“You know…like a light BDSM type of thing.” She said with a shrug.

“I assume you guys need me to up the intensity, right?”

Suzy nodded. She had already come to terms, that she was no longer enough.

“So, like, he gets aroused when someone has control over him. BDSM seems like the best way to get him off. You know, ropes, some light abuse, orgasm denial, that type of shit. Helps him reset.”

Brian turned back to look at her.

“It sounds like Arin, deep down, is…submissive in general?”

“…Yeah, I guess. I mean he always jokes about being a bottom in his gay fantasies. Though, I’m sure he’s never been with another guy, unless you count the D-club.”

Brian snorted.

He can still remember the phone call from Dan, when he first learned of the D-club exploits.

That was some conversation and led to so much more.

Brian had learned and confirmed quite a bit about his partner that day. He also, that day, became his sole confident.

Thinking of Dan, had him a bit worried though.

Although, helping Arin out was the right thing to do, Brian couldn’t help but think he was betraying Dan.

Brian shook his head.

No, his priority was Arin now.

If anything happened, he would have to deal with it then. That was really all he could do.

The whole situation was being played by ear, even with Suzy’s help.

There was also the possibility that he wouldn’t work out.

A lot of unknowns were present and Brian, being a scientist, disliked not having all the variables and possible outcomes lined up.

At least, he wasn’t totally blind and Suzy had been handling everything herself for who knew how long.

Brian’s head rose up. A thought occurring to him.

“Suzy?“

“Yeah?”

“Arin’s condition. Has it ever been a danger to him or anyone else?”

Suzy was silent, thinking about it.

Had she ever felt threatened by Arin?

No.

His condition was mostly internal.

If anything, everyone else was a potential threat to him. He was in such a vulnerable state when he was withdrawn.

Now, was he a threat to himself?

“Yes and no.” Suzy answered.

“When Arin withdraws, he’s within his own mind. So, he’s no threat to anyone else, but he is very vulnerable. He loses touch with reality and is extremely open to suggestions. It would be easy to take advantage of him.”

She glanced over, silently pleading with Brian to not do such a thing.

Brian easily understood the message and nodded.

“How is he a threat to himself then?”

Suzy’s grip tightened on the wheel.

“There are times, when Arin’s withdrawals are…bad and there are times when he’s so stressed, he…initiates them himself.”

“Wait. He can control it?” Brian asked, surprised.

From his talk with Arin, the whole thing sounded involuntary. Suzy shook her head.

“Not really. It’s more like…I guess, a defense mechanism. When things are so out of his control, it can happen and he won’t fight it.”

Brian looked down in thought. So, if he understood correctly, Arin could withdraw from several different triggers.

“Can you give me an example?”

Suzy bit her lip.

“Well, if he’s having a bad one, he is able to recognize it and let you know. He says, they just feel really bad.”

“Feel bad?”

“Yeah. Normally, his withdrawals just kind of happen, but the bad ones…they make him uncomfortable or scared.”

Suzy's teeth clenched. Brian noticed.

She was getting upset. Whatever happened in the past must have been pretty bad.

“It’s okay Suzy. You don’t have to tell me.”

Brian did want to understand more, but not at the expense of her well-being.

“No!” She exclaimed.

“You-you need to know…in case it happens again.”

She then exited the highway and pulled over into a diner’s parking lot.

If she was going to share this, she couldn’t be driving.

Putting the car in park, she sat back, running a hand through her hair.

“Arin has had these withdrawals ever since we got together. They’ve only become more prominent after Grumps was started.” She paused licking her lips.

“So, like…after Jon had left the show and before Dan and Ross joined. Arin…he had a bad one. Back then, we didn’t know the extent of his withdrawals. Barry and I used to think he was just brooding.”

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed at the mentioning of Barry. Interesting. He didn’t interrupt though.

“Arin said he felt different and he was so scared. It was hard to calm him down. He said he felt like he was being closed in a small room or something. We didn’t know what to do. He refused to go to a hospital. He was afraid of being sent to a mental institution. So I just held him. He withdrew and…”

Tears began to well up in her eyes. Brian placed a hand on top of hers, gripping lightly, giving silent support. The corner of her lips curled up slightly at the gesture. She wiped at her eyes.

“What happened?”

Suzy took a breath.

“He went into a coma…for five days.”

Brian’s eyes widened.

What? A coma? Shit!

“Barry and I took him to the hospital and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They said all of his vitals were normal, but there was some irregularity in his brain waves. All they could do was monitor him.”

Suzy then paused, trying to calm herself down.

The recounting bringing back so many unwanted feelings. It’d been a long time since she’d  thought back to that point in their lives.

But it was necessary. She just knew Brian would be the one able to help her husband keep his problem under control.

“Did…he just come out of it?” Brian asked giving her hand a squeeze. She nodded.

“He just woke up one day. He had no idea he was out for so long. He said he couldn’t recall what happened while he was gone. I know he was lying.”

It did hurt, that he wouldn’t tell her, but Suzy clearly remembered the barely repressed fear she saw in his eyes that day, and didn’t press the issue.

“The hospital kept him a few more days. When we got the chance, we sat down and tried to figure out what was going on. It was a lot of trial and error. Barry helped out a bit.”

“Barry? He knows?”

Brian had his suspicions, but he still thought Suzy was the only one who knew everything.

“He doesn’t know the full extent…at least I don’t think he does.”

Brian hummed to himself. Barry was quiet, except with him, but he was also extremely observant. He most likely knew.

Putting that aside for later, he got back to the matter at hand.

“Has Arin ever withdrawn like that since then?”

“No, we figured out how to stop it, by the time it was about to happen again.”

“How?”

“You already know we deal with his normal withdrawals with BDSM sessions?”

Brian nodded. That was what he was needed for. To up the level.

“The normal sessions deal with taking control from him. The sensations of pain and pleasure clear his mind, allowing him to reset. With those, it’s mostly physical, but with the bad ones, it’s more emotional.” She paused, checking to see if he was still following.

Brian scratched his chin in thought.

“So, we have to use our emotions to keep him…what? Grounded or something?”

Suzy’s face lit up.

“Exactly! He has to know that things aren’t so bad and that he’s wanted. It’s just…” She trailed off, blushing.

“What?” Brian asked, confused.

“Let me guess. I have to have sex with him.” He joked.

Suzy didn’t reply, her cheeks darkening.

Brian frowned.

“Oh.”

Suzy looked up, worried.

“You don’t have to worry about that! We just have to make sure I can get to him if that situation ever comes up!” She said quickly.

Brian didn’t respond, not really hearing her, deep in thought.

The BDSM stuff, sure, he could do that.

He could easily keep the sessions at just handjobs and blowjobs, but full on intercourse?

Could he do that?

And what about Rachel?

What would she think?

Not to mention, Dan.

Honestly, listening to the progression of solutions for Arin's  withdrawals, it made sense sex would be involved.

But, it couldn’t just be sex though, emotions had to be there too.

He turned to Suzy, who looked like she was on the verge of panicking. She probably thought he was going to call the whole thing off.

“It’s alright. I’m not gonna back out or anything. I told Arin I would do help and I will.”

“Brian, you don’t-”

“Do the emotions have to be romantic love?” He asked cutting her off.

“I mean. Could it be the type of love you have for a friend?”

Suzy looked down. She wasn’t sure.

Arin had told her, he felt like he was surrounded by her love and other emotions and something about colors.

But, he did say that knowing that he was wanted seemed to be enough.

“I think that would be okay. I think the feelings of knowing he matters is what helps.”

Brian let out a breath.

“Okay good. I can do that. And seriously, it’s alright Suzy.” He quickly said, as she began to protest again.

“You say I don’t have to, but we don’t know what will happen. I’ve already resolved to help.”

Suzy nodded.

She could see there was no point arguing it anymore. Brian was probably more stubborn than Arin.

“I just have to talk to Rachel about this. Is…that alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Of course it was. Brian was already doing them an impossibly huge favor. Letting his wife in on it, was no problem at all.

Hopefully, she wouldn’t mind.

Not many people were open to those kind of things.

She, herself had come to terms with the possibility long ago, when she and Arin initially found out how to stop his bad withdrawals.

It had been in the back of her mind, that one day her husband may have to sleep with someone else.

It helped that they were pretty open about a lot of things, making accepting it easier on both of them.

But still...

“We should probably head back.” Brian suggested.

“I think I’ve got what I need.”

Suzy turned the car back on and backed out of the parking space, beginning the drive back to the office.

Both, she and Brian deep in their own thoughts, wondering what the future would bring.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit Bondage Dom/Sub warning

A couple of weeks had passed since Brian had his talk with Suzy.

They both were keeping a close eye on Arin at near all times.

It’d already been over a month since his last withdrawal and it was making them a bit antsy.

Arin was going about his normal days, going through emails, working out collaborations, keeping up with the progress for Starbomb animations, the usual.

Arin knew he was  overdue for a withdrawal, but figured it was just because things were happening at a decent pace for once.

Which is what he said to his wife and Brian, but it still didn’t make them feel better.

Well, he couldn’t really do anything about that, so he continued on. Accepting requests for appearances and voice work.

It was gradual when it happened. So inconspicuous that Arin didn’t notice at all until it was too late.

For several days, off and on, he’d get a request for an appearance on another popular channel.

He’d accept, and a couple of days later he’ll get another request. He’d accept again, becoming very excited. He’d even received a few small animation commissions, that he figured he’d be able to do.

It wasn’t often that he was in high demand. Normally, it was him and Dan, or the Grumps as a whole. He couldn’t let the opportunities slip by.

The day, was like any other. Barry was at his computer editing. Suzy was also at her computer, typing away at an email. Brian was on the couch in the middle of the office, reading a book. Kevin, Dan and Ross weren’t present, off doing whatever.

Arin was sitting at the table in the kitchen area with Brent, the Grumps and NSP manager.

They had papers scattered all over the table in front of them. Both men were trying to figure out the best way to honor all the requests and sponsorships they’ve compiled.

Arin shook his head, letting out a breath, as Brent droned on. He had let his guard down.

He ran his hand through his hair.

He had been feeling so good, not having to worry about withdrawing, that he actually let himself get backed into a corner.

Now, he had too many requests to fill and not enough of him to go around. Arin let his head drop a bit, he could feel himself getting lightheaded.

Brent was still talking, when he noticed the lack of responses from Arin. Looking at him, he saw the somewhat glazed look in his eyes.

He then shook his head, somewhat annoyed and gathered the papers together. Standing up, he walked away, muttering something about ‘taking on more than they should’.

Arin was left alone at the table, but he wasn’t completely withdrawn, not yet. Which is why his head turned slowly at the firm grip on his shoulder.

Looking up, his foggy brown eyes, met with Brian’s light blue ones.

Brian wordlessly reached for Arin’s left hand. He placed his thumb on the back in the center, and mirrored the position with his index finger underneath.

Arin’s body jerked slightly, as Brian squeezed the two digits , putting pressure on the center of the hand he held. He smiled and leaned close to Arin’s ear.

“You should come with me.” He whispered, pulling back and releasing his grip.

Arin immediately stood up and turned towards Brian. Brian looked across the room, meeting Suzy’s eyes, who had paused in her work to watch.

She nodded to him, mouthing 'Good Luck’. Brian nodded back.

Placing a hand on the small of Arin’s back, he guided him to the exit.

Suzy turned back to her computer, a small smile on her face.

Barry turned back to his computer too.

The drive was uneventful, Arin continued staring straight ahead, drifting between reality and his headspace. Brian occasionally glanced over to check that he’s doing okay.

Brian was eager at first, but now the nervousness was beginning to settle in.

This was it.

The moment where the three of them would find out if he could actually help, or if they would have to find another solution.

Even if things don’t work out, he knows that he will continue to help the couple in any way possible.

Letting out a steady breath, he mentally goes over what he has planned.

In the weeks following their conversation, Suzy had went over several other things with him. The pressure signal, to let Arin know he was his Dom, the surprisingly many objects they had attained over time for the sessions and the best routines and varieties Brian should try.

Pulling into the driveway of the couple’s house, he turned of the engine. He and Suzy had decided it would be best to keep the sessions in an environment, Arin was most comfortable in.

Turning to said man, he suggested he get out of the car. Arin did as he was told with a bit of hesitation. Brian noticed.

'He’s still somewhat aware.’ He thought to himself.

Brian opened the front door with the spare key he was given and the two stepped inside the house. Arin stopped a small distance away, as Brian shut the door, locking it behind them.

Brian then turned towards Arin. Alright, here goes. He closed his eyes, and let his mind drift to his dominate headspace.

Opening his eyes, his face settled into a frown, he walked around in front of Arin. He looked up at the taller man, fire in his eyes.

“Go to the guest room and wait for me.” He ordered.

Arin didn’t move, or more likely, he didn’t move fast enough.

Brian quickly reached up and grabbed a handful of his silky locks and roughly jerked his head back.

Arin let out a whimper, eyes closing from the sudden burst of pain.

“WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?” Brian growled, glaring at him.

He watched as Arin’s eyes opened, some of the fog clearing from them.

Arin swallowed and nodded slowly, mindful of the grip on his hair.

Brian released him and pointed down the hall.

“Go!”

Arin, this time, moved quickly, afraid to upset the him any further.

Brian watched him, until he entered the room. Letting out a breath, he ran a hand through his short hair.

This was just a tad bit harder than he expected, he thought, feeling some sympathy for Suzy, but he knew he could do it.

He had to.

Brian then walked through the rest of the house. He needed to find the cats.

He couldn’t have any distractions during this session. He found both in the kitchen.

Grabbing them, he put them in their crates and placed them in Suzy’s studio and shut the door. He then made his way to the guest room.

Arin was standing in front of the bed, having not moved since he entered.

Brian walked up to him and grabbed his chin.

“Take off all of your clothes.” He calmly ordered, stepping back.

Arin pulled off his shirt without any hesitation.

Unbuttoning his pants, he let them fall to the floor, while also stepping out of his flip-flops. He then grabbed the hem of his boxers and pulled them down.

He straightened back up, fully naked, and awaited more orders.

Brian looked him over. His eyes roaming over the Arin's body. He nodded to himself appreciatively.

Arin was a bit on the thick side, but it was the good type of thick. The kind that gave off a hidden strength, beneath a layer softness.

Letting his eyes fall further, his gaze came to stop at his crotch. Arin was only at half-mast.

Well, that wouldn’t do. They were going to have to change that.

Brian suddenly pushed his chest, sending Arin sprawling backwards onto the mattress.

“HANDS AND KNEES! ASS TOWARDS ME!” He barked.

Shocked from the movement, Arin didn’t move. Brian growled, letting his dom personality take over.

Quickly approaching the side of the bed, his hand shot out, grabbing Arin’s throat and squeezed tightly.

Arin’s mouth fell open in a silent gasp, as his airway was cut off. His hands instinctively reached up to dislodge the grip on his throat.

“DON’T MOVE!!” Brian roared.

Arin froze, looking up at Brian, his eyes completely clear of the foggy texture, replaced with fear.

Brian loosened his grip and brought his face close to the Arin's.

“Hands and knees. Ass towards me.” He repeated with a deadly whisper.

The tone sent shivers through Arin’s body. He felt like he was in a life-threatening situation.

Maybe he was.

Brian removed his hand from the other’s throat. Arin gulped in a deep breath, and turned over, pushing himself up and into the position Brian wanted him in.

“Good.” Brian praised.

He then began running his fingers along Arin's back, lightly tracing his spine all the way to his ass crack. Dipping in briefly, before retracing the path.

He did this several more times. Arin’s breathing was becoming irregular.

The light touches were sending tingling sparks of pleasure throughout his body. He couldn’t stop the shudders, even if he wanted to.

“You like that don’t you?” Brian teased, enjoying the reactions.

He then let his fingers linger at the top of Arin’s ass, just barely touching his crack.

Arin tensed up with anticipation, not knowing what to expect.

Brian smiled. Arin's confusion and fear doing wonders for his Dom ego. He slowly pulled his hand away, drawing back.

With a quick movement, he smacked the palm of his hand into the left ass cheek.

Arin cried out and nearly fell forward from the force. His head dropping down, hanging between his shoulders.

Brian drew back again, this time hitting the right cheek.

Arin’s grip tightened into the comforter below him.

Brian continued his assault on his ass, until it was bright red.

Arin's eyes filled with un-shed tears. His ass stinging and his arms trembling, trying to hold himself up, as he gasped for air.

Brian bent down a bit. There we go.

Arin was fully hard. Pre-cum, dripping in a long stream, pooling onto the bed below.

Brian held two fingers under the falling semi-clear liquid, gathering it on the tips.

He then grabbed Arin by the hair, pulling his head up and then brought his fingers up to his mouth.

“Suck.”

Arin’s mouth dropped open. The fingers entered. Arin wrapped his tongue all around the digits, trying to suck them down his throat, his dick twitched from the sensation of tasting himself.

While Arin continued sucking his fingers, Brian had brought up his other hand and was gently massaging Arin’s sore ass. Arin groaned around the fingers in his mouth.

The attention on his ass, a mixture of pleasure and stinging pain.

Brian then pulled his fingers out of the wet cavern, and wiped them clean on his face.

Walking over to the dresser, he pulled open the middle drawer.

Inside was a collection of many different sex toys of various sizes. Whips, cuffs, straps, ropes and several other sexual related items filled the inside.

Brian took a minute to be impressed by the many objects. He knew that all of this couldn’t be just from Arin’s condition.

Suzy and Arin were surprisingly kinky.

Brian reached in and grabbed a bottle of lube, a cock ring, and a rope. He placed the items on the bed next to Arin’s leg.

Even though he was curious, Arin didn’t look to see what was going on, for fear of enraging his Dom.

Brian then reached under his body and squeezed Arin’s leaking cock, earning a surprised gasp. He then grabbed the ring and slipped it over the head of the young man’s dick and slid it down to the base, just above his balls.

The ring was of the silicon variety and could be stretched for easier application, and was better for the recipient during lighter BDSM sessions.

Releasing the ring, it tightened on Arin’s cock, causing his breath to hitch at the feeling. His building orgasm, slowly fading.

“Can’t have you getting off too soon now, can we?” Brian said with a dark chuckle.

He picked up the small bottle of lube, opened it and held it up above Arin’s crack. Tilting it, the fluid dribbled out slowly.

Brian used his fingers to spread the still red cheeks apart, allowing the lube to flow in between. He then used two fingers to spread the lube up and down the area, coating it fully.

Arin’s breathing evened out, the motion calming him somewhat, but he would tense each time Brian’s fingers brushed across his hole.

Brian grabbed the bottle again and covered his fingers. He moved from the side of the bed and positioned himself directly behind his young friend.

He took a firm hold of his ass, and spread the cheeks. Holding them open with one hand, he began circling the ring of muscle with his lubed up fingers. He felt Arin spasm at the touch.

Brian knew it was a sensitive area for him. Between what Suzy had told him, and what the man kneeling in front of him let slip on the show, it really was no surprise.

As for Arin, his whole body was trembling, he had to use all his strength just to hold himself up. His cock was swollen and red, hanging heavy between his legs. The ring tight around the base, keeping him from reaching relief. He forced himself to take slow breaths.

While the session so far wasn’t as painful as it was with Suzy, the intensity was on par or maybe even more than what he had experienced before. Arin had never felt so high-strung before, and to think Brian wasn’t even going all out.

He shuddered, as the thought hit him.

Jesus.

This was a light session.

Arin cried out suddenly, as without warning, he felt a finger press into his ass, stretching the muscle.

Brian watched his reactions closely.

He needed to push the boundaries, but not too far. Just enough to hopefully get Arin through a few weeks, if it worked.

He pushed in another finger after a minute, when he noticed the body below him was beginning to rock into the touch.

Brian bit his lip, Arin was so tight, he wondered briefly how it would feel to have his dick in there, before quickly banishing the thought. He was here to help.

Just to help.

He then shoved in a third finger, knowing it was too much too soon.

Arin cried out again, and tried to pull away, but Brian grabbed onto his shoulder, stopping his movement.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He sneered.

Arin could only whimper. He was being stretched too quickly.

Even though he and Suzy sometimes did anal types of things, they always took their time, making sure to not hurt each other.

But despite the burn he was feeling from Brian’s thick fingers, he couldn’t help the pleasure he was feeling at the same time.

Brian’s strong grip on his shoulder, his commanding voice, and the three fingers thrusting in and out of his ass, occasionally brushing his prostate, was too much for him to handle.

He couldn’t help but rock back, meeting each thrust half-way despite the pain. The pleasure clearly outweighing it.

Arin began panting, he could feel the familiar heat pooling again in his abdomen.

He was close, so close.

It was coming.

Almost there.

Just one more thrust.

And then as subtly as it built up, the feeling dissipated.

Arin let out a groan.

The cock ring. He had forgotten about it.

Shit.

Brian smiled, seeing the disappointment. He pulls out his fingers and wipes them off in Arin’s hair.

“Off the bed.” He ordered.

Arin didn’t move, still trembling from his almost orgasm, his legs somewhat numb from holding his position for so long.

Brian frowned. He walked around and leaned over, getting in his face.

Arin’s eyes fill with dread, as he saw the hand rapidly approach.

“GET THE FUCK UP!” Brian yelled, slapping him across the face.

The blow snapped Arin’s head to the side, the momentum, making him lose his balance and fall off the bed to the floor.

Brian’s eyes widened, watching the scene.

He hadn’t meant to do that.

He rushed around the bed to see Arin curled up, his face already turning red from the blow.

Brian quickly looked him over, making sure he wasn’t seriously hurt.

Besides the bruises forming on his throat from earlier, his red ass, and now his face, he seemed okay.

Brian ran a hand through his hair, he needed to reel himself in. It was only their first session.

Satisfied, that he hadn’t seriously hurt his young friend, Brian let the concern flow out as he slipped back into his role.

He reached down and grabbed Arin by his hair, a bit gentler than before. He pulled him up, and turned his head to face him.

Seeing the fear in his eyes, made the older man smirk. The power was nearly overwhelming. He then pushed Arin’s face down onto the bed.

Grabbing both his arms, he brought them behind his back and tied them together with the rope he had taken out earlier. Pulling him up again, Brian made his way to the door.

“Follow me.” He said, leaving the room.

Arin slowly followed, still getting the feeling back in his legs.

Brian led the two into the living room.

Grabbing the tv remote off the entertainment system, he walked over to the couch and sat down.

Arin came to a stop at the edge of the room, not sure what was going to happen.

He shifted nervously, the ring still squeezing his cock and the ropes wrapped around his arms making him a bit uncomfortable, but not enough to slow the pleasure he was also feeling from being thoroughly dominated.

Brian turned on the tv and then turned towards the awkwardly standing man.

“Get your ass over here.”

Arin rushed over, not wanting to anger his Dom.

Brian opened his legs wide, and motioned to the space in front of him. Arin immediately knelt down, having no trouble hearing the wordless order. Brian smiled.

“Alright, this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to watch tv and you’re going to suck me off. Got it?”

Seeing him nod, Brian undid his jeans.

Reaching in he pulled his dick free from his boxers. The older man was already hard, just from the thrill he usually got from exerting his dominance over another.

He motioned for Arin to move closer.

“Don’t stop until I tell you to.” He said, as Arin opened his mouth, letting the hard member enter.

_________

Twenty minutes had passed and Arin was still alternating between licking along the length of Brian’s dick, and sucking on the head.

Brian continued to flip through the channels, occasionally stopping on a program he found somewhat interesting.

Brian prided himself on his endurance when it came to sex. He had quite the control over his own body, as long as his attention wasn’t solely on the act, he could separate himself from the sensations his body was going through.

The only indication that he was even affected was the bit of pre-cum that occasionally pooled out of the slit of his dick’s head. Arin eagerly licked it up, as it appeared.

Several minutes later, Arin let out a quick breath, feeling fatigue. He had been in the same position for some time now and his legs and arms were beginning to go numb. But he continued on, the urge to do whatever his Dom ordered, to please him, pushing him forward.

Brian glanced down, noticing the slower movements. Arin’s eyes were half open, as he slowly licked up the side of the shaft. His eyes distant, but still a bit of persistence was present.

Brian’s eyes softened. His chest filling with pride, for his young friend. He reached out, running his hand through the soft strands, pushing them out of Arin’s face.

“That’s enough, baby.” He gently said.

Arin pulled back with a sigh and let his head dip down.

Brian moved his hand from Arin’s head, sliding it down to cup his face, causing the young man’s head to rise back up.

Taking his own cock in hand, he began to stroke slowly. He met  Arin’s dazed gaze.

“Open your mouth.” He quietly commanded.

Arin dropped his mouth fall open, tongue slightly out.

Brian’s breathing quickened, at the sight. Now that he’s actually focused on the motions, he can feel his arousal quickly building within himself. The heat pooling into his center, as he stroked faster, his eyes locked with Arin’s.

Arin, who was waiting patiently, like the good boy he was.

His boy.

Brian’s breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, his thoughts running wild, centered on the man kneeling in front of him.

Arin on his back, moaning his name, as he pounded into his tight hole. Arin screaming in ecstasy as he cums all over his own chest. Arin’s ass tightening around Brian’s dick to the point of pain.

Shit!

Brian threw his head back against the couch as his balls contracted and spurts of cum shot out, hitting Arin directly in the face.

Arin swallowed the cum that hit his tongue, and licked off what he could reach on his face.

Brian then stood up, his breathing still a bit haggard. He tucked himself back into his pants and walked around behind the younger man.

Kneeling down, he untied Arin’s arms which fell limply to his sides, nearly completely numb.

Brian rubbed them, helping the circulation flow quicker, making a mental note to keep them looser next time.

“Lie on your back and hold your legs up.”

Arin ignored the feel of needles in his arms and did as he was told, leaning back and pulling his knees to his chest.

Brian then knelt beside him and grabbed his neglected cock.

Arin couldn’t help the moan that tore out of his throat. It felt like he’d been in such a state of arousal for years instead of just around 40 minutes.

Brian smirked. He carefully pulled off the cock ring and started stroking the swollen member, spreading the pre-cum along the length.

“Good boy.” He cooed.

Then without warning, he shoved three of his fingers into Arin’s ass.

The walls echoed with Arin’s cry of pain and pleasure. His eyes began to water from the assault. His grip on his legs weakening.

Brian moved his fingers in and out roughly, his ass still somewhat slick from earlier, hitting the Arin’s prostate with each thrust.

Arin was seeing stars, losing his grip, his legs collapsed on both sides of his Dom.

Brian continued, pushing Arin’s body to the brink, his body arching up off the floor, as his orgasm tore through his body.

Coming down from his high, Arin struggled to catch his breath. His chest and stomach covered with sweat and cum.

Brian released the exhausted man’s softening dick, and removed his fingers.

He leaned in close, and gently kissed Arin’s sweat slicked brow.

“You did very well.” He praised, pulling the young man towards him, despite the mess and wrapping his arms around his newly established sub.

Arin sleepily opened one eye, his breathing starting to calm, and gave a small smile.

“You too.” He quietly whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Later that night, Suzy pulled into the driveway of her home. She had just come from over Brian’s place. With all the changes going on in their lives, she wanted to sit down and talk with his wife, Rachel.

Suzy figured she would get some of her own concerns settled, while at the same time giving Brian and Arin the privacy they needed for their first session.

Her talk with Rachel went surprisingly well. Rachel was very open to everything, and listened patiently to Suzy’s concerns. She also had a few of her own concerns, which Suzy was happy to help her with.

Thinking back to the conversation , Suzy frowned a bit.

Rachel’s main concern was the feelings of everyone involved. Which was a legitimate concern. Suzy understood immediately.

She knew it was pretty much guaranteed her husband would become strongly attached to Brian. Arin was still an introvert deep down, but with the level of intimacy involved, it couldn’t be avoided.

Suzy had let Rachel know this. She didn’t seem too worried about it. Rachel told her that Brian was, in a way, the same, but with more of a sense of protectiveness and dedication.

She did admit, she wasn’t sure if he would actually develop deeper feelings for Arin, but she knew he would, at least, have a soft spot for him.

Suzy put her hand on the car door handle, preparing to get out.

What really had herself and Rachel worried though, was Dan.

Rachel was relieved to know that Suzy had figured out the singer’s hidden feelings, like she, herself, had.

She was worried that the growing relationship between Arin and Brian, would have adverse effects on the two men’s relationships with Dan.

Dan had confided in Brian, his best friend, his feelings for Arin, his other best friend.

If Arin and Brian developed romantic feelings for each other, things could go sour for everyone. The potential was high for more than just friendships lost.

Arin and Dan were the backbone of the Grump channel. Everyone’s livelihoods could be affected.

The two women weren’t sure how to go about preparing for the, still only, possible situations.

They both agreed, the most they could do, was continue to provide advice and support to their husbands. No matter what happened.

Suzy shook her head clearing her thoughts. Exiting the car, she walked up the driveway to the front door.

Entering the house, she could see all the lights were out, save for a faint glow from the living room. Walking in the direction of the light, that she now saw was coming from the TV.

She turned to see Brian sitting on the couch, his head resting on the back cushion, with his eyes close.

Her eyes shifted down and came to rest on her husband, who was sound asleep, dressed in his favorite Hello Kitty pajamas, and curled up into the older man’s side.

“They look so cute.” She thought to herself with a smile.

Watching a few more seconds, her smile faded, as she thought back to her and Rachel’s conversation.

Looking closely at her husband’s face, he looked so comfortable, wrapped in the secure arms of their older friend, who also looked very content.

It seemed the inevitable, the two women were worried about, was going to happen.

Suzy bit her lip, looking away from the peaceful scene.

No matter how she looked at it, every scenario she could think of, Arin was going to get the worst of the pain.

It was like watching a train heading to a cliff in slow motion. She could see the danger, but didn’t know how to stop it.

Suzy took a breath and approached the sleeping pair.

Brian slowly opened his eyes, as he felt the light shake on his shoulder.

He looked up to see Suzy, smiling softly down at him. He also saw the hint of worry in her eyes, but didn’t comment on it, not exactly sure why it was there.

He shifted a bit to get up, but felt the weight against his side and chest. Looking down, momentarily forgetting Suzy’s presence, he smiled and brought a hand up, brushing aside some of the hair that had fallen over the young man’s face.

“How did it go?” She whispered, mindful of her husband’s sleeping form.

“It went well.” He whispered back, smiling up at her.

“Looks like you have yourselves a new Dom.”

Suzy’s smile widened. She felt so relieved.

Although, she was confident Brian would work out, there was still a small part of her that wondered if he wouldn’t, when he was the perfect choice.

“I’m glad.” She breathed out.

Brian lightly shook the sleeping bundle against him.

“Time to get up, princess.”

Arin grumbled and curled up closer. Suzy giggled.

When her husband was comfortable, it was nigh impossible to get him to move.

“Come on Arin, let’s get you to bed.” She said, trying to hold back her laughter. He just grunted.

Brian rolled his eyes and slipped out of Arin’s grip, causing him to lie down on the couch. Brian was rewarded a pitiful whine for his unwanted movements.

“Guess I’ll just have to carry you then.”

Suzy raised an eyebrow at that. Despite his personality, Brian was still physically smaller than Arin.

She watched in awe, as Brian bent down, placing an arm under the taller man’s legs and the other beneath his back.

He then straightened up, holding the sleeping bundle with an unexpected strength.

To say the least, Suzy was shocked. Arin was not on the light side of the weight scale.

She followed Brian, as he carried their stubborn Sub to the bedroom.

Suzy pulled back the covers, stepping aside as Brian gently placed Arin on the bed, pulling the covers over him.

He then bent down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Night princess.”

“Mm, night Bri. Night Suze.” Arin mumbled, snuggling deeper into the covers.

The two then left the room, turning out the lights behind them.

Suzy leaned against the wall, near the front door.

“Thanks again Brian. This really means so much to us.”

Brian shrugged on his jacket.

“It’s really no problem at all, Suzy. I’m glad I can help.”

Brian then let out a surprised ‘oof’ as he was pulled into a tight hug.

“You’re the best. Really.” Suzy mumbled into his chest.

Brian smiled and returned the hug.

Suzy waved, as she watched Brian back out of the driveway.

Watching until his car faded into the distance, she went back inside feeling more optimistic.

Everything would work out.


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next few days, things went back to normal, save for a few, not too noticeable changes.

Brian had begun learning everything that Arin did on a daily basis.

He would spend hours squeezed into the small desk space next to his boss. Neither of them were bothered by the near constant close contact, having had become very comfortable with each other after their first session.

Arin would probably not admit it, but he felt at ease when his older friend was near, and gladly showed him the things he was responsible for. Arin was hesitant at first; Brian was already doing so much for him already.

However, Brian was insistent that he wanted to help in any way he could, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He actually out-stubborned Arin, much to Suzy’s amusement.

Brian took in everything he was learning. He had no idea how much went into running the channel. To think, he thought he was busy with all the correspondences for NSP.

Looking at everything now, he wondered how they got by so long without a manger before.

It was now clearer why Arin’s professional life affected his personal one in such an extreme way.

The man was very busy.

If Brian could help with the source of Arin’s stress, then maybe they could have more control over his condition.

Brian didn’t think too much on why he wanted to help, besides the fact he had become fond of his younger co-worker.

Despite his age, Arin was surprisingly selfless. Always making sure everyone was taken care of and happy to the point he disregarded his own needs and wants completely.

It was an admirable, but also frustrating trait for a person to have. Especially for the ones who noticed and cared deeply for them.

Brian then decided, he would help Suzy in making Arin’s needs and wants a priority in his life.

The days continued to pass by uneventfully, Arin having no new withdrawal incidents.

Ross entered the office, running a bit late.

Greeting everyone, he sat down at his computer, turning it on. Waiting for it to boot up, he glanced around at his friends/co-workers.

Suzy was behind him, at her desk, checking her Esty shop. Dan was sitting at Brian’s desk, with his headphones on. Probably listening to whatever composition his partner had come up with, seeing as he was also on his laptop.

Barry was helping Kevin with, what looked like, some animation edits for an episode he was currently working on.

Across from him, Arin and Brian were once again squeezed together at Arin’s desk. It looked like they were going over some documents.

Ross smiled; he was glad that Arin was finally accepting some help. Ross wasn’t aware of everything Arin did, but he did know it was a lot, and could tell when it was taking a toll on his friend.

Ross grinned to himself. It was all thanks to Arin, he had a somewhat stable job and was free to animate for his own projects. All he had to do was play some video games a few times a week. The same couldn’t be said for his friend.

Even with a manager and an intern, Arin was still busy with behind the scenes stuff, on top of being one of the main faces for Grumps, he just didn’t have time for much else.

But it now looked like some of the load could be taken off, thanks to Brian.

Ross looked back down at his computer, and started clicking through his folders.

Today was an animation day, so he was going to be finishing up a commission that was coming up due.

Getting up, he walked to the kitchen area to grab a drink. On his way back to his desk, he noticed Dan was standing behind Arin and Brian.

Dan had a small frown on his face. The two seemed unaware to his presence behind them, so engrossed in whatever they were doing.

Now, that Ross thought about it, he really hadn’t seen Arin with Dan as much as he used to. Those two were usually joined at the hip.

In fact, the past couple of months, he could only picture Brian next to Arin.

That was weird.

Ross sat down at his desk, and watched as Dan let out a small sigh and walked away.

In a way, he could sympathize; he and Arin were really close back in their Newgrounds days, and then came Jon, then Dan.

Ross was never necessarily jealous, but every now and again he would miss those times, when he was Arin’s closest best friend. It was just the way things were; at least he was still a part of his life.

It looked like the same thing was happening with Dan, which was strange.

Brian mostly grumped with him or Barry; he wasn’t taking Dan’s place on the show or anything.

So, why the change?

Ross shook his head, deciding whatever was going on with them, it wasn’t his business.

He looked back at his computer, but not before catching Barry staring at the two, before he turned around to his own work.

Ross went back to clicking through his folders.

He frowned. Where were the folders for his animation? In fact he was missing several files.

Beginning to panic, he ran a search. Hoping something would come up.

“What the fuck?”

The search came up empty. He ran a hand through his hair. They were there the other day. He couldn’t say for the previous day, as a severe thunderstorm prevented everyone from coming in.

He began to sweat. His animation was gone and the deadline was in two weeks. Sure, he had a backup, but it was only for the first half of the project.

Dammit! How could he forget to make a backup? He should have put it on several hard drives.

Arin approached him, having come from the kitchen area. He and Brian were taking a break.

He noticed the frantic movements of his friend and became curious.

“What’s wrong Ross?” He asked, taking a sip from his mug.

Ross jerked his head towards his friend.

“Arin!!” He cried, his accent slipping out.

“My-My animation! You know the commission? It’s-It’s gone!.”

Arin’s eyes widened. “What?” Ross grabbed his head, in frustration.

“It’s fucking gone! There’s no trace! It was here the other day, but now…” He trailed off putting his face in his hands, groaning.

Arin frowned. Shit. He knew how that felt.

He had lost projects before too and knowing all of the hard work was just gone, was not a good feeling.

He placed a hand on his friends shoulder.

“I’m assuming you don’t have a backup?”

Ross shook his head.

“Just the first part. I forgot to back up the second part.” Ross groaned again.

“I’m a fucking idiot.”

Arin place his cup down, frowning as he wracked his brain.

What could have happened between a day ago and today? There was that crazy ass storm yesterday. Arin’s eyes widened.

That was it.

The building manager had told him the building was struck by lightning.

Even though all of their electronics where hooked up to surge protectors, they weren’t entirely fool proof.

Some of the others, himself included, probably lost some of their files too.

He squeezed Ross’s shoulder, waiting for the miserable man to look up.

“Don’t worry, Ross. I’ll help you finish it.” He assured.

Ross’ face lit up, but then turned uncertain.

“Are you sure? You have stuff to do too, right?”

He did, but he also had Brian.

“Don’t worry about it. This is more important. We’ll get it done.”

Ross smiled gratefully.

“Thanks man.”

Over the next couple of weeks, Arin and Ross worked on nothing but the animation. They canceled all of their Grump sessions.

Though they couldn’t just stop the main Grump show, Arin and Dan recorded a few one-offs each day. Everyone else filled in with the other shows.

Ross stretched his back, popping his cramped bones. He had been hunched over for hours on end.

His and Arin’s work days had turned into 14-18 hour days. But they were making progress. At their current pace, it looked like they could finish with a couple of days to spare.

Ross looked over at Arin who was sitting on the couch, taking a mandated break. Ross couldn’t help but notice that, despite the increased grump sessions for everyone else, Suzy and Brian seemed to always be present.

They made sure Arin took a 20 minute break and actually walked away from his desk, every few hours. It was odd.

There seemed to be more going on with the three, than he initially thought. Ross didn’t say anything of course, still believing it was none of his business, and got back to work.

————————

Arin stood up from the couch, his watch going off. Sitting back at his desk, he unlocked his computer.

It was late, probably around two in the morning.

Everyone else was gone, save for himself and Brian. He still had to finish his set key frames for the day.

When he had decided to help Ross, they decided to make out a schedule and goals for each day. That way, as long as they met each day’s goals they would still make the deadline.

To their surprise they were actually ahead of their schedule, and decided to keep up the pace just in case something came up.

And something did come up; Arin had an important meeting to attend dealing with the brand. So, he was behind for his daily goal, and decided to stay late to finish up.

He pulled his Cintiq towards him, and got back to work. Even though they were ahead, Arin was still moving slower than he thought he should. Thankfully, Ross took that into account.

On top of having not animated as much in so long, Arin also had to mimic Ross’s style to keep the animation consistent. Copying another artist’s style required more focus and took a lot out of the older animator.

He probably would have become overwhelmed, if it wasn’t for Suzy and Brian looking out for him.

Arin smiled, thinking about his two ‘guardians’ as he like to call them.

After he had committed to helping Ross, Brian had sat him and Suzy down and worked on a break schedule, to make sure he didn’t withdraw.

So far it had been working, Arin’s head was kept clear and he hadn’t once felt like he couldn’t handle what he was doing.

Brian then came up from behind, having got up from the couch, and placed his hands lightly on Arin’s shoulders.

“How’s it looking?” He asked, watching the grip pen glide across the screen.

“Almost finished. A couple of more frames left to go.”

Brian nodded.

“And you’re feeling okay?” He asked lightly combing the younger man’s hair with his fingers.

Arin closed his eyes at the feeling, as he hummed in response. The almost petting on his head making him relax even more.

Brian chuckled.

Even though he had become busier, since his decision to help Arin and Suzy; there was still a satisfaction he felt, whenever he knew Arin was doing well, and he was the cause of it.

He continued his movements in the other’s hair, letting the soft strands flow through his fingers, as he began gently massaging Arin’s scalp.

Normally, he’d stay away from any physical displays of comfort, but they were alone, and Arin seemed to have a more positive response to them.

Brian would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy taking care of his young boss.

Bending down, he gently kissed the side of his temple.

“Alright, let me know when you’re ready to go.” Arin nodded.

Brian walked back over to the couch, letting him finish the rest of his work in peace.


	8. Chapter 8

Brian reached up into the cabinet and pulled out a large bowl.

Opening the microwave, he took out the fully popped bag; he then put another bag in and set the timer.

Taking the popcorn bag, he dumped its contents into the bowl.

Currently, his wife, Rachel was down the hall putting their daughter to bed for the night.

The microwave started beeping, alerting the older man that its contents were ready.

He pulled out the second bag and also dumped the contents into the bowl. He then went to the refrigerator to pull out a few drinks.

Brian looked up as the doorbell rang.

He grabbed the bowl of popcorn and walked into the living room, placing the bowl onto the coffee table, he headed towards the front door.

Behind the door revealed Arin, hands in his jacket pockets and a wide grin on his face.

Brian couldn’t help but smile back. Whenever Arin was happy, it became somehow contagious for him.

“Hey man, come on in.” He greeted, stepping aside.

Arin nodded, stepping through the doorway.

“Thanks.”

Taking off his coat, he put it into the hallway closet. Brian closed the door behind him and turned towards his young friend.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come today. Are you alright?” He asked, a bit of concern in his voice as he look the younger of the two over.

They had had a session the previous night, and Arin usually needed a bit of recovery time the following day.

Arin stretched his shoulder a bit, wincing slightly.

“Just a bit sore. Not enough to miss movie night though.”

Brian nodded.

“Just don’t push yourself too soon.” Arin laughed.

“Alright, dad.” He joked.

Brian rolled his eyes and went back into the kitchen.

Arin took a seat on the couch, and turned on the tv.

“Hi, Arin. How are you?”

Arin turned to see Rachel entering the room.

“Hey, Rachel.” He replied getting back up and giving her a hug.

“I’ve been great, keeping busy as usual.”

“Brian told me, you may not come today.” Arin shrugged.

“I’m feeling okay. He wasn’t too rough on me.”

“He better not be. You let me know if he is.” She said in a jokingly stern tone. Arin laughed. “

I’ll be sure to do that.”

“Hey, I know what I’m doing!” Brian called out from the kitchen.

“Sure you do, honey. With your Ph.D. and all.”

Brian came into the living room, holding different drinks.

“A Ph.D. is serious business. Don’t joke about it.” He said with a semi-serious face.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

“Of course it is. Now, how about we get this party started.”

Arin chuckled, as he took his provided drink and sat back down.

He loved coming over to the Wecht’s home. Rachel and Brian were so inviting. Their loving banters and laid back nature, made him feel like he was one of the family.

Even little Audrey took a liking to his more frequent presence. She always wanted to play with her Uncle Arin. He had no problem indulging and spoiling her.

Brian complained, loudly, but Rachel said he’d do the same thing, and was just jealous of the attention Arin was getting.

Brian placed his and Rachel’s drinks on the table and sat next to Arin on the couch. Rachel took the spot on his left.

Brian wiggled a bit, getting more comfortable. It was still somewhat of a challenge to find that right spot, sitting on the small couch between two bodies.

Arin then reached into his pocket and took out his phone. Reading a text, he quickly typed out a message, and put it away.

Rachel felt Brian tense for a moment, before relaxing again.

She had a feeling she knew who had just texted Arin.

Reaching over, Rachel took the remote from Arin and navigated to their bookmarked movies.

Pressing play she set the remote back onto the table and grabbed the large bowl, placing it on her husband’s lap.

“Why do I always have to hold the popcorn?” He whined.

“You’re always in the middle dude.” Arin laughed, grabbing a handful.

“Cuz I have to be.” Brian grumbled under his breath.

Rachel giggled. Sometimes she felt like she had two kids.

As the movie started, Brian settled back and put an arm around Rachel’s shoulders, causing her to lean into his side.

With his other arm, he slid it around Arin’s waist, pulling him close and letting his hand rest on his midsection.

Arin let out a contented sigh and rested his head on Brian’s shoulder.

Tonight was Rachel and Brian’s movie night. A day they set aside every couple of weeks to just relax and spend time with each other, catching up on whatever movies or shows they hadn’t had time for.

She glanced over seeing Arin cuddled up against her husband. Rachel smiled to herself.

Now, it was her, Brian and Arin’s movie night. So far he hadn’t missed a night, making sure to keep his schedule free to come over.

The last few months had certainly been interesting. She thought to herself.

When Brian had first approached her about the situation, he was so nervous. He had already agreed to do something so serious, without fully consulting with her first.

Brian had left nothing out, telling her everything he discussed with Arin and Suzy. He even added in his own assumptions and expectations.

She had listened patiently to his explanation, and while she wished he had convinced his young employer to get professional help, she had no pressing issues.

The only thing, that had her concerned, was the two men’s feelings. She and Suzy had a discussion over it, the night of Brian and Arin’s first session.

From what she’s heard and now had personally seen, Arin became strongly attached to others. Her husband was the same way, but also very protective of whoever depended on him.

With the sexual side to the situation, she wondered about how things would develop.

Of course, she had decided to be supportive no matter what.

She and Suzy, both knew neither of their husbands would run off together, or something like that.

The interesting thing was, that they didn’t seem to notice what was happening between them.

That or they were both ignoring it, until they no longer could. Which most likely was the case with Brian.

She had noticed only a subtle change within her husband. Mainly when he talked about Arin. He spoke very fondly of him.

The way his eyes would soften and the way he would sound so proud, when telling her of his progress dealing with work, or their sessions.

Talking regularly with Suzy, had only confirmed what she was seeing. Suzy had said that Arin talked about Brian frequently and Barry had mentioned how they were never too far from each other at the office.

Brian also had told her, he was learning all the ins and outs of running the channel, to help reduce some of Arin’s usual stressors.

With only a few withdrawals, since Brian became involved. The four of them were becoming closer and things were looking well, so far.

It was Suzy who suggested having Arin come over to their house, just to make things smoother between both couples.

Rachel knew Brian went over to their home many times, but not the reverse with Arin.

Rachel had suggested the inclusion of him for their movie nights.

The way Brian’s face lit up was amusing at the least.

The first few times, Rachel admitted, were awkward.

Neither of them was sure where the boundaries lay. How much contact was deemed appropriate between them?

Sure, Rachel knew of the sessions. Brian always told her what happened when he came home, but it was somehow different when she was right there.

She actually had to sit both of them down and tell them that they shouldn’t hold back on her account and be themselves.

She assured them that she was completely okay with the new variation in their relationship.

After that things were easier. Brian and Arin were more open with their more affectionate friendship and their mutually ignored need to be close to one another.

Rachel shook her head slightly, watching the two snuggle even closer as they both laughed at something in the movie she had not been paying attention to.

They honestly looked like a couple.

It was really adorable. Rachel pushed in closer to her husband.

He looked down, smiling softly at her, tightening his arm around her shoulder. Rachel smiled back.

She hoped that when their feelings fully developed, they could avoid any problems.

She and Suzy would be fine, but she couldn’t help but worry about both Brian and Arin’s shared partner.

How would Dan react?


	9. Chapter 9

Dan closed the text app on his phone. He tossed the phone somewhere in the vicinity of his bed.

He stood in the middle of his bedroom, head down, curls forming a curtain around his face and hands limp at his sides.

His eyebrows creased, his teeth were clenched together, chest rapidly rising and falling, and short puffs of air exiting his nostrils.

Dan was pissed.

He had just texted Arin, seeing if he wanted to hang out, since it was the weekend and none of them had any projects to do.

Dan let himself plop down on the edge of his bed. Leaning forward he let his head rest in his upright hands.

He had tried once again to see if he and Arin could spend some time together.

For the past few months, it felt like they only saw each other when they were grumping.

It seemed like they had somehow began drifting apart.

Dan shook his head.

No.

It didn’t seem like it. They had drifted apart.

Dan felt his teeth beginning to grind together.

He had been replaced.

By his other best friend no less.

“Brian.” Dan spat.

His eyes darkened, thinking back to his text conversation with Arin.

Instead of Arin hanging out with him, like they used too, he was at Brian’s house…again.

It looked to Dan, that no matter where Arin was, Brian was a step behind.

The two were near inseparable.

For the life of him, Dan couldn’t figure out what had changed.

Why was Brian always with Arin, and it was obvious Arin didn’t mind. In fact, he would seek out Brian when he wasn’t around.

The fuck was going on?

Dan closed his eyes tightly.

“Fuckin’ Bastard.”

Moved from the other side of the world and steals Arin from right underneath him.

Dan could feel his breath coming out in short gasps. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so upset.

“What the fuck? What the actual fuck?” He growled, questioning the empty room.

How could he? Brian knew how Dan felt about Arin. He fucking knew!

Dan had went to him, baring his deepest darkest secrets, called him at all times seeking his advice or just to have someone he trusted to listen to his troubles.

Dan wiped angrily at the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He could feel himself falling into despair.

For months now, he had been trying and failing to understand what was going on. Keeping his feelings buried for years, and now it looked like he had missed his chance.

Dan was secretly in love with Arin.

He had kept his feelings for his younger friend hidden, until one day he spilled it all to the only person he trusted with that type of information.

Brian had been so supportive and helped him figure out his confusing feelings, and helping him come to terms with his new discoveries. He patiently listened to Dan, with no regards to the time difference.

He was always there for him.

So, why would he betray him in such a way? Did he just not care anymore? Did he want Arin for himself?

What the fuck was going on?

Feeling the anger return, Dan stood up and paced restlessly around the room.

He stopped in front of his dresser mirror.

He looked awful.

Dark circles were forming under his eyes. He could see new wrinkles that had formed from his near constant frowning.

It was becoming too hard to pretend everything was alright. Cracks were beginning to show.

He had felt worried glances on him from everyone at the office.

Everyone except for…

Fucking Brian and Arin!

Dan clenched his fist.

Letting out a frustrated cry, he reared back.

The mirror exploded, shattering around his arm. The pieces of glass fell, shredding his hand and forearm.

Dan let his head drop, his fist still against the wooden frame.

Closing his eyes, vainly trying to stop the free flow of tears, he tried to calm himself down.

His bedroom door slowly opened. Barry poked his head in, concern written all over his face.

“Dan?”

There was no answer. Dan was still in the same position, muttering under his breath.

Barry’s eyes widened, seeing the broken mirror and glass on the dresser and floor.

There was blood steadily streaming down from Dan’s left hand and forearm.

“Jesus, Man!”

Barry rushed over, gently grabbing his roommate's arm.

All of his knuckles were split open and he had several long thin cuts covering his hand and upwards on his forearm.

“Dan, we have to take care of this, before it gets infected.” Barry urged.

Dan still didn’t reply. His mop of curls hiding his face from Barry’s line of sight.

“Fucking Brian. What the fuck? Goddammit, why?” Dan continued to mutter to himself.

Barry’s eyebrows rose in question. Brian? What did he do?

Barry shook his head. He could think about that later. Right now, he needed to take care of his friend.

“Dan! Come on man! Snap out of it!” He yelled, shaking his shoulder with his other hand.

The room grew quiet. Dan had stopped muttering.

His head slowly rose, and turned towards Barry.

“What do you want Barry?” He asked tiredly.

His eyes were red and puffy from his silent crying.

Barry didn’t know what to say. He had never seen his friend in such a state.

He looked down, Dan following his gaze; he saw the condition of his hand.

“Shit!” He swore, pulling it out of Barry’s grip.

The pain was now registering with his brain. He held it close to his chest as a string of curses flew out of his mouth.

Barry snapped out of his shock and grabbed Dan’s arm, pulling him into the bathroom.

Sitting him down on the closed toilet, he grabbed the first aid kit and some disinfectant from the bottom cabinet.

They were both silent as Barry cleaned and bandaged his hand and halfway up his forearm.

When he was done, Dan looked up and gave a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Bar.”

“…No problem.”

They both fell silent again, not sure how to broach what needed to be said. Barry sighed.

“So…um, do…wanna talk?”

Dan looked up. His expression completely closed off.

Barry could clearly see the walls surrounding his friend, but he still had to try.

“You know, about whatever made you do…that.” He continued, gesturing at his now bandaged hand.

Dan looked back down. He shakenly took a breath.

He did need to talk, but the one he would normally go to was also the cause of his problems.

But still…

“Thanks Barry. I may take you up on that, just…not now.” Dan replied standing up.

He knew he could trust and depend on Barry.

Dan paused.

Not too long ago, he would have said the same thing about Brian.

He frowned, thinking about the other man.

Maybe he should talk to Barry about the whole situation.

A part of him was thinking, maybe he was being unreasonable and not seeing things clearly. He could use an outside viewpoint.

But that would mean trusting Barry with a lot of personal shit about himself. Dan wasn’t sure if he could do that, especially now.

If he was right, Brian was a fucking dick and flat out betrayed him and he didn’t want to risk it happening again.

On the other hand, he could be wrong and everything was a clichéd misunderstanding.

Barry waited silently, as he watched the different emotions play across Dan’s face. He could tell his roommate was considering his offer.

Now that he knew Brian played a part in Dan’s actions, Barry could see several pieces falling together.

What he suspected was going on with Arin, involved Brian, and that involvement was affecting Dan, who he knew had at least a crush on Arin.

The whole thing was a just a big mess.

Barry placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, getting his attention.

“If you want to talk. I’m here.” He said, sincerely.

Dan nodded his gratitude and walked out.

Barry watched him go. He hoped he would take him up on his offer and let him help figure things out.

If not, the way things were looking, he was afraid the situation would snowball out of control and Dan, Brian and most of all Arin, would be severely hurt in the process.

He may have to put aside his own feelings and intervene for everyone’s sake.


	10. Chapter 10

Arin stood up and turned off the recording and capture software.

He and Dan had just finished recording the fifth episode of their current session.

Dan sat back, sinking in to the couch cushions. He sipped at his tea as he watched his friend shut down the equipment, for their break.

The game they were playing was a pretty tough NES game. It wasn’t Battle Kid hard, but Arin had had a few rage moments, and needed a break.

Arin walked back to the couch and sat down beside Dan on the couch, and pulled out his phone to check his messages.

He had been complaining during a few episodes about someone texting him at horrible times, during the game.

Dan frowned slightly, seeing the gentle smile spread across his face.

It was obvious who texted him.

“Brian?” Dan asked, carefully keeping his voice neutral.

Arin nodded, chuckling at whatever he just read.

Dan rolled his eyes. He could feel the feelings from the previous day coming back.

He cautiously flexed his bandaged hand.

He had managed to give some bullshit excuse to everyone about what happened.

Barry had stayed silent, while he straight up lied to all of their friends.

He told them he had tripped while carrying a glass pitcher of tea.

There was the expected murmurs of concern and then came the laughter at his clumsiness. His excuse worked, somewhat.

Suzy was giving him odd looks, and he could tell Brian knew he was lying.

When he tried to pull him aside to get the truth, Dan brushed him off.

He didn’t want to deal with his partner, not when he was technically the cause of his injury.

Brian’s concern only pissed him off more, as if he didn’t know what he was doing to Dan.

Dan pointedly ignored the part of his brain, saying he was being a brat.

Arin glanced over, having noticed Dan didn’t ask what Brian had texted, like he normally would.

They would always share the clever jokes Brian would come up with, guaranteeing them a shared laugh.

It didn’t look like that was going to happen this time.

Dan was sitting stiffly next to him, his right hand clenched tightly, his left opening and closing slowly. Probably as to not agitate the healing scabs.

His face was creased into a frown, lips turned downward in a sneer. He looked angry.

Arin felt himself frown. He had never seen Dan like that, at least not without a reason.

Reaching over he carefully placed a hand on the Dan’s thigh.

Dan’s head whipped towards him at the contact.

Arin flinched back as the full force of Dan’s glare fell on him.

Seeing the reaction, Dan shook his head, schooling his features back to a neutral state and turned away.

Arin swallowed.

Something was wrong, very wrong, but he wasn’t sure if he should ask.

There was a part of him that couldn’t shake the feeling, he had unknowingly did something.

He took a breath, steeling himself.

“Hey, Man. You…uhh, you okay?”

“I’m fine Arin. Why would you ask?”

Dan’s reply was calm, too calm, Arin observed. He scratched the back of his head.

“I don’t know. You just seem…kinda off…maybe upset?”

Dan didn’t reply, keeping his gaze on the turned off tv screen, refusing to look at his friend.

“I mean, I was wondering if something…had happened.” Arin ran a hand through his hair.

“Haven’t really seen you much, lately.”

Dan’s eyes widened, his hands closing tightly into fists.

He ignored the pain that shot through his injured hand, the movement causing some of the scabs to re-open.

Hadn’t see him much?

Really?

Arin hadn’t seen him much?

Maybe if he wasn’t always with fucking Brian!

Anytime they had a moment together, just the two of them, Brian would show up or Arin would seek him out.

The only reason Arin was still on the couch with him, was because Brian wasn’t currently at the office, not like he was missed, texting Arin throughout their grump session.

Dan took a breath.

He was becoming too angry and he still wasn’t sure if everything was really as it seemed.

He regretted not taking Barry up on his offer to talk.

He sat back and pushed his long curls out of his face.

This needed to be addressed, or he’d never get over it. Arin seemed clueless.

Maybe it was really nothing going on at all. Arin and Brian could just be becoming closer friends. It was worth a shot.

“So, uhh…I couldn’t help but notice, you and Brian have become quite…the pair.”

Dan tried to keep his tone casual, but couldn’t help the bit of edge that filtered out.

Arin noticed.

“Me and Brian? Really?” He asked, somewhat confused.

Did it look that way?

Sure, he had been spending time with him, but was it so much, that it was noticeable and apparently bothered Dan?

Had he been ignoring him?

Arin wasn’t sure, but when he actually stopped to think about it…yeah, he was with Brian most of the time.

It was like he either had to be with him or at least have some sort of contact with him everyday.

Dan frowned as Arin fell silent.

He looked like he was thinking hard about something. Maybe he wasn’t as clueless as he thought.

Dan felt his heart clench.

Were Arin and Brian in a secret relationship?

The more he thought about it, the more his envy filled mind believed it to be true.

There were too many emotions going through his mind.

Jealousy, anger, sorrow, longing, betrayal, confusion.

It was too much.

Dan let his head fall into his open hands, clenching tightly at his forehead.

He was getting a headache, and to make matters worse, blood was starting to seep through his bandages.

Arin didn’t notice, still deep in thought.

The silence stretched between them, until Arin looked up.

“I don’t really think he and I have been together that much.” Arin paused.

“I mean, have we?”

He turned to Dan, a bit of alarm crossing his face as he saw the red bandages.

“Does it look that way? Cause it’s really nothing man.”

Dan tensed up.

“Don’t lie to me, Arin.” Dan whispered.

He sat up and turned towards Arin.

“Just tell me what the fuck is going on between you and Brian!” He snarled.

Arin jumped in surprise.

Dan was staring at him, his eyes wide, and his body trembling with barely suppressed anger.

He looked like a wild animal, holding itself back from attacking it’s prey.

Arin scooted a bit away, suddenly feeling scared. He had never seen this side of Dan before.

Sure he’d been angry before, but not to this extent, and definitely never directed at himself.

Arin swallowed. He needed to answer. Dan was expecting something.

Arin was afraid to find out what would happen if he didn’t.

“There’s-there’s nothing going on Dan. He’s just-”

“Bullshit!” Dan growled cutting him off.

His mind was in a whirlwind. Too much going on within.

The buried emotions from the last few months. The hidden emotions from the last few years.

It was all bubbling to the top, overflowing. He wasn’t sure what he was even saying or thinking.

Dan’s chest was tightening.

Too much, it was fucking too much.

“I-He…”

Arin stumbled over his words.

Dan’s gaze felt like it was burning through his body. The fire in his eyes, making him feel extremely vulnerable.

“Dan. Brian is-he’s just helping me with…some shit.” Arin quietly offered.

“And you can’t tell me? I can’t help you?” Dan spat, having lost all control.

“Or you just don’t want my help?”

Arin’s breath quickened. Dan was furious, and he didn’t know what to do.

How long had he been feeling this way?

Arin still wasn’t sure what he was really mad about.

The whole situation was out of control.

Arin gripped his head, as his vision began to blur, then clear.

Shit!

He could feel himself beginning to drift, the walls closing in on him. He struggled to focus, come up with something.

“Fuck…Dan…no-that’s…that’s not what I mean-”

Arin cut himself off, his eyes darting around in a panic.

What could he say?

He wasn’t ready to tell Dan the truth.

And lying would just make things worse.

Fuck!

He didn’t want to burden him with his shit, but this wasn’t any better.

Dan kept his eyes on Arin, who was rapidly descending into a panic.

Deep down, Dan knew he was completely out of line and being unfair.

Whatever was going on, was obviously personal, but dammit, Brian and Arin were his closest and best friends!

Why couldn’t he know? Why Brian and not him?

He was there first!

Dan stood up, unable to take it anymore.

He wasn’t going to get an answer out of Arin, at least not the truth.

“Know what? Fuck it. See ya around, man.” He said, making his way to the door.

“Dan, wait!”

The door slammed shut behind the taller man.

Arin threw himself back against the couch. He covered his hands with his face as he let out a frustrated groan.

“Shit! Shit! Fuckin GODAMMIT!”

Arin curled in on himself. The walls closed in further, his vision was blurring.

He could feel it coming, getting stronger.

“Dammit! Not now.”

He reached blindly for his phone.

In the main office, only Barry and Brian were present. Brian having come back from running errands some time ago.

The two men were at Barry’s desk, discussing some future games to play.

They both looked up, as they heard a door slam shut.  

They watched silently as Dan snatched his jacket off the railing in the stream area.

He walked around, sparing an angry glance in the two men’s direction, and walked off towards the exit.

“What’s up with him?” Brian asked, as the door to the office shut behind the retreating man.

Barry shook his head. Although, he had an idea.

Brian reached into his pocket, feeling his phone vibrate. Pulling it out, he opened the text app.

“Fuck.”

Putting the phone back into his pocket, he quickly made his way to the recording room.

Barry considered following, but decided it was best for the three men to figure out whatever was happening between them.

At least for now.

Thinking back to Dan’s injured hand, Barry hoped they figured it out before one or all of them become seriously hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

Brian opened the door to the recording room. He looked over to see Arin curled on the couch, his knees pulled up, and head buried in his arms.

“Arin?”

Arin slowly raised his head, tears streaming down his face. Brian’s heart clenched, seeing the misery in his eyes.

Brian rushed over, taking a seat beside him and pulled him into his arms.

Arin didn’t  resist. He needed this. Needed the comfort.

His withdrawal slowed down as he sank further into Brian's arms.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He gently asked, softly stroking Arin's hair.

Arin shakingly nodded his head, and took a breath.

“Dan…he’s…he’s so mad at me…” Arin sniffed.

“I don’t kno-know what to do.” His voice cracking, as he fell deeper into despair.

“Do you know why he is mad?”

Brian already knew why.

“He…he said something about us being…I don’t know, together all the time? …I guess I’ve been ignoring him…he…he wants to know what’s going on.”

Arin looked up, his eyes pleading with Brian.

“What..what do I do? I don’t fucking know what to do…”

Brian tightened his grip, remaining silent.

“I’m not ready to tell him…Brian…what do I do.”

Brian sighed.

This was what he was afraid of. How his sudden insertion into Arin’s personal life would look to his musical partner.

Dan was jealous and probably feeling betrayed.

There weren’t many ways to look at the situation from his angle.

Brian knew he was at fault too.

As time passed, he had honestly forgotten about Dan and his feelings.

His focus was fully centered on Arin.

Thinking back, he had said if anything happened with Dan, he’d just have to deal with it. Looked like that time had come.

“We’ll figure this out Arin. It’ll be okay.”

Arin shook his head, hearing but not believing him.

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“Please take me home.”

Brian helped Arin up and they walked out the door, nearly running into Barry, who’s worry had gotten the best of him.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, taking in Arin’s condition.

He was leaning heavily on Brian, his head down, causing his hair to hide his face. The occasional sniffle, escaped from him.

“Don’t worry Barry. I’m taking care of it.” Brian answered.

Brian then led Arin past him and towards the exit.

“I’m taking him home. Lock up for us.” He called over his shoulder.

Barry nodded, watching them leave. He walked back to his desk and sat down.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Brian could really handle it.

Brian had known Dan longer than any of them, but with the involvement of Arin, Barry wasn’t too sure.

 ——————-

Some time later, the two men arrived at Arin’s home.

Brian pulled out the spare key he was given and unlocked the door.

Arin immediately headed to his bedroom. Brian hung back.

He went into the kitchen and turned on the light. A flash of yellow catching his eye.

He looked at the post-it note on the fridge. It was from Suzy, saying she was helping Holly with props and may stay overnight.

Brian frowned. He was hoping Suzy could help him with the new development in their situation.

Looked like he was on his own tonight.

Leaving the kitchen, he headed towards the bedroom.

Arin was sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark. Brian turned on the small lamp on the nightstand.

He then sat down next to Arin, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Arin didn’t say anything, just leaned into him, resting his head on Brian’s shoulder.

Brian just held him. He knew any words of comfort he provided would probably not help.

“Brian?”

“Yes?”

Arin bit his lip.

He struggled to think of what he wanted to say. His mind was so foggy.

His withdrawal coming back quickly, but something was off, and the feeling was scaring him.

“Brian, I’m withdrawing…it feels…it feels bad…” He quietly said, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Brian looked down at him, seeing the frown on his face.

“You want to have a session now?”

Arin shook his head.

“I don’t think it will…help. Feels different…bad.”

Arin then wrapped his arms around Brian, gripping tightly, as if he would disappear.

“I’m scared.” He whispered.

“What if I don’t come back?”

Brian felt a sting in his heart. Arin sounded so small and vulnerable.

Brian tightened his grip, his protective nature coming out in full force.

God, he wanted nothing more than to keep his young friend safe and happy.

“Do you want me to ground you?”

Arin’s body tensed up.

Ground? How did Brian know about that? Did Suzy tell him?

They hadn’t agreed on telling Brian about groundings.

Arin honestly didn’t think he would ever come back to that point.

Brian watched silently, waiting patiently. He could tell Arin was shocked he knew about groundings.

He was a bit shocked himself, that he offered. Especially now.

The situation with Dan could become even worse if he found out.

But, dammit, Arin needed him and he wasn’t going to let some misunderstandings stop him from helping.

Meanwhile, Arin was deep in thought. It was hard, his mind was practically floating away.

Having sex with Brian though?

They had never gone that far in their sessions before, not to mention he had never been with a man in such a way.

But, it also terrified him that there could be a repeat of his last bad withdrawal.

He never told Suzy what he actually went through at that time, not wanting to burden her anymore than he had.

She was in such a depressive state when he had come back.

Arin didn’t want her going through that again.

Taking a breath, he looked up at Brian.

“Are you sure?”

Even if it was his mentality that was at risk, he still didn’t want to force Brian into anything so serious.

Brian pulled back and raised his hand cupping Arin’s cheek.

He leaned in pressing their lips gently together.

He pulled away and smiled.

“I said I would do anything to help you, and I will.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explicit sex warning

Brian pressed his lips against Arin’s again.

Arin barely responded, his mind drifting further and further away.

His mind had gone so far, he was vaguely aware of tongue sliding across his bottom lip, asking for permission.

Hesitating for a moment, Arin parted his lips, allowing the wet muscle entry.

Arin blinked as Brian’s tongue explored his mouth.

He felt removed from everything, could barely feel the pressure of Brian’s body against his.

Arin wasn’t even sure if he was responding anymore, which was a shame, a part of him really wanted to fully experience sex with a man, particularly a man like Brian.

He offered no resistance as he felt himself be carried away.

In a way the situation, albeit still alarming, was also somewhat calming.

Floating in the foggy gray space of his mind, he knew it was only the calm before the storm.

It had been a few years since his last bad withdrawal.

He didn’t want to go through that experience again.

He hoped Brian was able to bring him back soon.

Looking around, he began to notice the gray cloudy like substance shifting.

He could see an array of colors, swirling around him.

Well, that was different.

With Suzy, he would normally only see pink, which they assumed represented her love for him.

At the moment, there were so many different colors, it was a bit disorienting.

He was able to pick out a few.

Dark orange, pale blue, light yellow, and a dark green, being some of the one’s he could see.

The most prominent color he could see was dark orange.

Reaching out, his hand passed through the misty color. He could feel determination within it.

The pale blue flowed over his hand and he felt concern.

The colors continued to swirl, his eyes became adjusted.

He no longer felt dizzy, but more at peace, like he was protected.

Dark green and light yellow passed through him and he felt responsibility and friendship respectively.

There was one color, that he couldn’t really make out. He caught what looked like red or maybe pink, but Arin wasn’t too sure.

The color was appearing and disappearing too quickly, as if it wasn’t meant to be there.

Suddenly, out of the mass of swirling colors, two large hands appeared.

Arin felt himself starting to panic. He struggled to get away, but the two hands grabbed onto his forearms.

As soon as contact was made, he felt his body relax.

He breathed out a sigh of relief.

It was Brian.

He could feel Brian's presence flowing into his metaphorical body. The arms began gently pulling him back.

Arin closed his eyes and let himself be carried along.

He knew he was safe now.

Arin was no longer aware what Brian was doing anymore, but he trusted him and knew he would never intentionally hurt him.

Suddenly his body jerked, causing his breath to catch in his throat.

Arin’s body began to fall downward.

Brian’s arms were still attached to him, the colors swirling blindly around him.

It felt like he was falling out of the sky.

That couldn’t be right. He knew he was in his mind, so how was he falling?

Arin racked his memories. Had this happened before?

He couldn’t remember if he had experienced this with Suzy.

No matter how much they figured out, there was so much they didn’t understand about his condition.

Maybe he should look into professional hel-

Arin’s body unexpectedly arched up, cutting off his thoughts.

A rush of pleasure surging through his body.

His eyes shot open, a tapestry of some sort coming into view, as his vision cleared.

The feeling hit him again.

What the fuck?

Arin tried to catch his breath, as awareness filled his previously fog-filled mind.

He could see he was in his room and could tell that, yes, the sensations were coming from his own body.

Looking down the length of his body, he could see Brian’s head bobbing up and down.

His breath hitched at the sight, but there was more.

His eyebrows creased, as he tried to understand what was going on.

Another rush of pleasure shot through him.

What was that?

Where was it coming from?

He tried to concentrate and focus on the sensation, it was coming from…oh….

“Nnnnggghhh!”

Arin groaned, as realization hit him.

There was one, two?

No, it was three.

Three of Brian’s fingers were pumping in and out of his ass.

That feeling.

It was his prostate being stimulated.

Arin reached out a shaky hand, combing it through Brian’s peppered hair.

Brian stilled.

He opened his eyes and pulled off the hard cock he had been sucking for the past several minutes, with a wet pop.

Removing his fingers, he was greeted with an adorable whine, that caused his own dick to stir within his very tight jeans.

He looked up and froze.

His eyes meeting Arin’s lidded lust-filled gaze, his mouth slightly agape as shallow breaths came and went.

His tanned, larger body, displayed under him, legs spread wide-open as if in invitation.

Brian continued to stare, feeling a bit light-headed, at the sight.

Arin was like the epitome of sin.

His dick was beyond throbbing in his jeans.

He took a breath to calm himself.

“Welcome back.” he whispered.

Arin moved his hand from Brian’s head to the back of his neck and pulled him forward, over his body, and pressed their lips together.

Without any hesitation, he opened his mouth, letting the kiss deepen.

Arin groaned into the kiss, now able to fully taste Brian and feel his tongue tangle with his own.

He hadn’t kissed many guys in his life, at least not seriously but he felt like he never wanted to stop kissing Brian. He was very skilled, especially with his tongue.

To think, that it could be so sharp, spitting out insults and deadpan humor, but also so sensual, as it probed and explored his mouth.

They both then pulled apart, needing to catch their breath.

As the air between them mingled, Arin could feel the threat of withdrawing fade as his mind became more grounded, but the uneasy feeling, it was still there.

He still needed more.

Reaching a hand up, he cupped Brian’s cheek.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Brian’s eyes widened slightly at the bluntness, but nodded his understanding. He pulled away, taking off his clothes, and tossing them to the floor.

Brian thought back to his conversation with Suzy. He was very appreciative that she had told him about groundings and he had agreed to do them.

Brian didn’t want to think what he’d do if Arin slipped away from them, after he had grown so attached and could have prevented it from happening.

He reached into the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Tearing the small packet open, he rolled it on over his twitching dick.

Grabbing the lube bottle, he dribbled a bit along the shaft and stroked, smearing it all over, getting it slick.

Arin patiently watched. His hands moved, sliding under his knees and pulled his legs back towards his chest, spreading them wide, leaving himself completely open.

Brian unconsciously licked his lips at the sight.

He moved forward and lined his dick up to the pink hole.

He paused, looking into Arin’s eyes.

A distant part of himself, telling him things were going to change.

For better or worse, he didn’t know.

Brian breathed deeply and pressed forward, not breaking his gaze as he slowly sunk in.

Arin winced a bit at the stretch. Brian was large, maybe even larger than himself.

He kept his eyes on Brian. His intense, blue eyes, calming him as he focused on breathing and relaxing his body at the intrusion.

Brian continued pushing, until his hips came to a stop against Arin’s rear.

He was in.

Arin closed his eyes, as he continued to breath, letting his body get used to the full feeling he was experiencing.

It felt incredible.

Sure, he and Suzy had messed around before with strap-ons and dildos, but those didn’t compare to a flesh and blood dick throbbing inside his body.

The thought that he could get used to the feeling, flitted through his mind.

Brian kept his eyes focused on Arin’s face, watching for any indications of discomfort. He matched his own breathing with his.

It was taking a lot of effort on his part to keep still. From his conversation with Suzy, he was Arin’s first and knew he had to let him adjust, in order to avoid any injuries.

It was difficult.

Arin was tight, and each breath he took, caused the heat surrounding his dick to constrict, sending small jolts of pleasure through his body.

“Brian…move.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Brian pulled out half-way and pushed back in slowly.

Both men groaned in unison.

Brian repeated the motion, finding a steady rhythm.

Arin wrapped his arms around the Brian’s back pulling him closer, until their chests were pressed together.

Arin then wrapped his legs around his waist. Locking his ankles behind Brian’s back, trapping his body against his own.

The new position kept Brian deep within his body, only allowing for short thrusts.

Brian preferred a long slow rhythm, but this wasn’t about him.

He needed to do whatever was best for Arin.

The two men’s bodies rocked together, the bed shaking slightly from their sensual movements.

Brian dipped his head and began planting small kisses along Arin’s neck. He then started nipping and sucking lightly at the tender skin, grasping it between his teeth, before releasing and soothingly licking the reddening area.

Arin whimpered at the alternating light pain and pleasure. He shifted his head exposing his neck more. Arin just knew he was going to have bruises all over his neck.

The thought of being marked by Brian surprisingly turning him on more.

Brian shifted his position, and began to thrust harder.

He could feel the building heat coiling in his center.

Arin cried out.

The new rhythm and angle pushing Brian’s cock directly into his prostate.

The intense sensations caused Arin’s arms and legs to fall away, releasing Brian from their grip.

No longer restrained, Brian pushed his body up, hovering over Arin.

He pulled out until only the tip was in and slammed his hips forward.

Arin’s head flung back, releasing a loud moan. Brian sped up more, mercilessly pounding into Arin's ass.  The lewd sounds only spurring him on.

He was getting close.

Reaching between them, Brian grabbed hold of Arin’s leaking cock and began stroking at the same quick pace as his thrusts.

Arin arched up into the touch, squeezing tightly around Brian’s dick, causing him to gasp, and lose his rhythm.

Arin clenched his teeth, throwing his head back and forth, moaning unashamedly. His body was quickly becoming overstimulated. He wasn’t going to last long.

The hand on his cock and the pleasure flowing from within. It was too much.

With a shout, his body arched off the bed, as he came.

Spurts of cum landing on his chest and dripping from Brian’s hand.

“Fuck!” Brian swore.

Arin’s orgasm caused him to clench tightly around Brian to the point it was almost painful.

Brian closed his eyes as he felt himself go over the edge.

One, two more thrusts, and he stilled.

Buried deep in Arin’s ass, as his own orgasm ripped through him.

Brian released his hold on Arin’s softening dick, as he held himself up from collapsing on top of him, his arms slightly trembling.

The only sounds that could be heard where the two loudly gasping for air.

As they both, came down from the orgasmic plane, Brian slowly pulled out.

Arin couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his throat, at the empty feeling.

Brian slipped the used condom off.  Tying, it up, he tossed it into the small trash can near the bed. He then got up and walked into the attached bathroom.

Grabbing a washcloth, he soaked it in warm water and reentered the bedroom.

Climbing back onto the bed, he situated himself beside Arin’s body and began gently wiping him clean. Arin sighed at the gesture.

He loved the feeling of aftercare. It made him feel wanted, like he really did matter.

Brian continued wiping him down, smiling at the sounds of contentment Arin would make.

Finishing up, Brian placed the cloth to the side.

Reaching out a hand, he brushed the sweat damped hair out of Arin’s face.

“How do you feel?”

Arin opened his eyes and smiled.

He reached over and pulled Brian towards him, pressing their mouths together, in a quick kiss.

“I feel great.” He whispered against his lips.

Arin pulled him down into a hug.

“I’m not going anywhere. Thank you Brian.”

Brian’s smile widened and he kissed him again before pulling back.

He moved to get up, but a sudden tight grip on his arm stopped him.

He looked down to see Arin looking at him with a neutral expression across his face.

Brian could see a bit of fear in his eyes.

“Stay?” Arin whispered. His voice holding a slight tremor.

Brian’s expression softened. He leaned over and kissed Arin’s forehead.

“Of course. I wasn’t leaving.”

Arin let out a breath and released his grip.

Brian had only moved to pull the covers back from the bed, before Arin had stopped him.

Suzy was right in telling him how Arin became extremely vulnerable after grounding sessions.

After being pulled back from somewhat intentional withdrawals, he needed to be assured he was wanted back and leaving him, would cause adverse affects on his mentality.

Once again, Brian was amazed at the perseverance of the couple.

He couldn’t imagine the pain the two went through figuring out what worked and what didn’t.

It was astonishing, what they were able to accomplish on their own.

Brian gently lifted Arin’s body and pulled the cover over him.

He hesitated for a second before climbing into the bed himself.

It was odd getting in another couple’s bed, but he knew he needed to.

Arin immediately pushed himself into Brian’s body, dragging him out of his thoughts.

Brian smiled, as he wrapped his arms around his body, pulling him closer.

He felt Arin sigh contently, as his breath evened out, falling into a deep sleep.

Brian hugged Arin a bit tighter, as he felt his chest swell up with many different emotions.

Even though one in particular was concerning.  He wasn’t going to deny it.

Brian knew exactly what he was feeling.

He wasn’t one to completely ignore the obvious.

Looking down at Arin’s peaceful expression, the feeling grew.

It looked like the situation was going to become a bit more complicated.

Brian yawned.

He could feel his own fatigue overcoming his body.

As his eyes closed, he reminded himself, he had made a commitment and no matter what happened, he would see it through to the end.

For Arin’s sake.


	13. Chapter 13

Barry swiveled around in his chair. Coming to a stop, he reached up, stretching his stiff back.

Hunching over a computer for hours was in no way good for the body.

Grunting at the usual pops, he dropped his hands and looked around the office.

Kevin was wrapping up his edits for the last episode of the day. Brent and Jack were in the kitchen area, going over some production stuff.

Suzy was in the recording room with Ross. They were filming a new KKG series.

Arin was at his desk, making a new animation opening for Grumpcade. Brian was at his desk not doing anything in particular, but seemingly deep in thought.

Only one Grump was missing.

Barry sighed.

It looked like Dan wasn't coming in...again.

It had been about a five days since Dan and Arin had, what he assumed to be, a falling out, during their last grump session.

Since then, Dan hadn't stepped foot into the office.

Barry thought back to that day.

After Brian had took Arin home, he had quickly locked up and headed to his own house.

He knew he wouldn't be able to continue working, not after seeing how angry Dan looked, and how upset Arin was.

After witnessing the end result with Dan and his mirror, the concern he was feeling for his roommate was too distracting to ignore.

When Barry had arrived home. He immediately went to Dan's room to check on him.

Dan had locked himself in and refused to talk. Telling him to go away.

Whenever he did come out, he only said the bare minimum. Did what he needed to do and went back into his room locking the door.

Dan didn't even bother making excuses for not going to the office.

He just said he wasn't going and Barry would leave their shared home alone.

Barry had no clue what to do. He didn't know exactly what happened.

Dan wouldn't talk to him at all.

Brian had said he was handling it but from the looks of things, he wasn't.

Speaking of what.

Brian and Arin seemed no better off with the situation themselves.

At the least, they were showing up to work. Not that it was any comforting.

Arin was quieter. He didn't join in any group discussions or meetings. He kept to himself and only really spoke if it was absolutely needed or work related.

The only ones he engaged with, were Suzy and Brian and even that was no longer normal.

  
Brian stayed at his own desk most of the time. No longer squeezed next to Arin while he worked.

He would occasionally get up and see what Arin was up to. Gently running his fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. They never spoke during those times.

Barry wondered if anyone else noticed. It seemed like such an intimate gesture.

It was almost like Arin was teetering on the edge of depression or something similar, and he probably was. Suzy and Brian, the only ones keeping him from falling over.

There were several random moments when his breathing would suddenly quicken and he'd grab his head, as if he was in pain.

During those times, without a word, Suzy or Brian would grab him and take him home for the rest of the day.

For the rest of the Grumps, it was worrying, but Suzy assured them everything was okay. That seemed to satisfy some of them.

Barry wasn't one of those satisfied.

No one questioned what was going on, at least not outwardly. It was set in their expressions, and in quick glances.

If felt as if everything was only hanging by a thread. The tension within the air was stifling and seemed as if it would never dissipate.

Unless someone did something.

Barry stood up.

He couldn't take it anymore. He tried sitting on the sidelines and let them work it out but obviously that wasn't going to happen.

He made a straight beeline towards Brian's desk, determination pushing him forward.

“Brian.”

Brian looked up. Breaking out of his own deep thoughts.

He frowned seeing the serious expression on Barry's face.

“What's up Barry?” He tried to ask casually.

Barry wasn't in the mood for pleasantries.

Not now.

“We need to talk.”

With that, he turned and headed for the exit door. Fully expecting to be followed.

Brian watched his retreating back a bit. He let out a haggard sigh.

Out of all the Grumps, it was no surprise it was Barry, who would be the one to finally intervene. For all the good that would do.

He stood up and followed after his coworker, wondering to himself if he was ready for this conversation.

The two men exited the building, going outside.

The day was overcast with low dark clouds, and a slight chill in the air.

It looked like a storm was building.

“Appropriate weather.” Barry mumbled to himself.

He leaned against the brick wall, a distance away from the door. Brian mirrored the position and waited for him to talk.

Barry took a breath. This was it.

“Brian. This...situation, something has to be done.”

Brian kept his gaze forward. Watching a few cars pass by.

He wasn't one to usually run away but he really didn't want to do this.

“What exactly are you talking about Barry?” He asked smoothly, keeping his tone even.

Barry's fists clenched at his side. He wasn't in the mood to play games.

Dan had nearly broken his damn hand and Arin was closing off from everyone!

“Don't fuckin' act like I'm stupid, Brian!” He snapped.

Brian flinched from the tone, just barely.  Barry noticed, feeling some satisfaction at the reaction.

“I'm talking about you, Arin and Dan.” He continued, taking a breath to calm himself.

Brian ran a hand through his short peppered hair.

“How much do you know?”

Barry settled back against the wall.

Good, now they could actually get somewhere.

“I know that Arin has some kind of mental condition. You're helping him with it and Dan's jealous of you two becoming so close.”

Brian glanced over, as Barry finished. He could tell he was holding back.

“And?” he prodded.

Barry bit the inside of his cheek. It was easy to forget how Brian could read others so well, when he was acting like a dick most of the time.

“Look. I'm only assuming this, because I was there when this stuff with Arin developed.” Barry paused.

He was making a lot of assumptions based on what he'd seen over the last few months and also the last several years.

He didn't doubt the conclusions he had come to, that wasn't the problem.

The problem was fixing them.

“The help you provide for Arin. It's sexual in nature, is it not?” He glanced over, gauging Brian's reaction.

Brian kept his eyes on the ground. He had known Barry was observant enough to figure things out.

All the times he had caught him staring at them. He had been piecing everything together in his own way.

“Yeah it is.” Brian started, then paused.

He didn't want to go into any details, as that would be Arin's call if he wanted Barry to know.

Seeing Brian's hesitation, Barry cut in.

“Brian. You don't have to tell me what's all going on. This is really between you three. I just need to know if things are going to be okay? You know, get better.”

Brian sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don't know, Barry. It's become more...complicated.”

Barry rose an eyebrow. More complicated? How could it get more complicated than it already was?

Arin has a condition. Brian helps with the condition. The help is sexual. Brian and Arin are always together. Dan has feelings for Arin. Dan is jealous.

How could it become more complicated than that?

Seriously to get any more complicated, Brian would have to have fallen for...oh.

Barry's eyes widened. It couldn't be.

Looking at Brian. Really looking at him.  Barry could now see it.

The way his shoulders were hunched forward. The dark rings under his eyes, making him look older than he actually was. The small smile on his lips, twitching as if deciding if it should be frowning instead.

There were even times, Barry had caught him staring at Arin, with an odd expression.

At the time it confused him, now he understood what he was seeing.

Barry's eyes softened.

In a way, yeah, it made sense.

He placed a hand on Brian's shoulder.

“You have feelings for Arin...”

Brian scrunched his eyes closed, letting out a dark chuckle.

“Everything's a fuckin' mess.” he said, frustration clear in his tone.

Barry squeezed his shoulder in comfort.

This did make things more complicated.

Two men in love with one guy.

One of them already in a, supposedly, platonic sexual relationship and the other jealous to the point of causing self-injury.

God. It was like a bad Soap Opera.

“Brian.”

Brian turned to him, pain shining in his light blue eyes.

Barry paused, removing his hand from the other. He didn’t know what to say.

What could he say?

“I honestly don't know what to do Barry. Danny has already made his assumptions and took out his frustrations on Arin. It's causing him even more distress. Now I'm having to...dammit!”

Brian swore, grabbing his head.

“Arin needs me now, more than ever. That need, has escalated things between us, and these fucking feelings of mine...Fuck!”

Barry bit his lip.

He briefly pondered what the escalation was but pushed it aside. They needed to figure this out.

There was one thing they could do, and he was pretty sure Brian had already considered it but it wasn't so simple, either way.

“Brian. Can't you guys just tell Dan...you know, everything?”

The look Brian gave him, made it clear that, yeah, he had thought of that, and it most likely wasn't an option.

Brian, had probably thought through every possible outcome, and decided it wasn't a good idea.

There was still things Barry didn't know about what went on between Arin and Brian.

Sexual could mean a lot of things, and Dan probably wouldn't take any of them easily. Brian also said that  it had escalated, whatever that meant, and must be a large factor too.

But he still thought they should try.

The misunderstandings that were already in place would only get worse.

Brian continued to stare at Barry. He then pushed himself off the wall.

“Thank you for the talk, Barry. I needed to...vent. I trust this conversation will stay between us?”

Barry nodded, feeling a bit defeated.

Brian made his way back to the entrance.

“I'll figure something out.”

Barry watched Brian enter the building. He then let his head fall back against the wall.

Well, he tried.

At least Brian was willing to talk to him. Maybe he would think of something to diffuse the situation.

Deep down, he knew it would be best to just open up to Dan.

Barry crossed his arms and looked down. But, it wasn't just Brian's decision to make.

Arin had to agree and depending on how serious things were, he may not want to.

He was also sure Arin was unaware of Dan's and now Brian's feelings for him. Complicating things even further.

Barry sighed. He was getting a headache.

He honestly couldn't wait for the day, everything would be back to normal.

If that day ever came.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW up ahead peeps

Arin mindlessly clicked through the channels on his tv. Paying no mind to what flickered on the screen.

Why was he even still paying for cable?

Really, it was just something to do.

Trying to keep his mind distracted...it wasn't working.

Arin was in his living room, sitting on the couch. He had left work not too long ago.

His thoughts were too loud and he couldn't focus on anything.

He probably should have told Brian he was leaving but figured he'd show up or someone else, probably Suzy, would tell him.

His wife had given him a worried look when he told her he was leaving. She was reluctant to let him leave alone, but he managed to convince her.

She knew what was bothering him.

Hell, everyone knew now.

It had been nine days.

Nine days since his confrontation with Dan.

Arin hadn't seen, nor heard from him since.

He only knew what Barry told him.

Dan would just tell his roommate he wasn't coming in and that was it.

He did overhear Barry mumbling that 'at least he wasn't hurting himself anymore'.

Leading Arin to believe he was likely the one who caused Dan to injure his own hand, making him feel even worse.

Arin had tried texting Dan several times over the week.

Dan responded once.

The day after the fight, saying, when Arin was ready to tell the truth, they could talk.

Brian had told him at the time, he should wait until Dan cooled down, before trying again.

Arin did, but he never received a response. He had no idea what to do.

A day ago, Brian had asked him about revealing everything to Dan but Arin was scared. He had already hurt Dan by not telling him.

Wouldn't telling him now, make things worse?

From what he understood. Dan was upset he hadn't come to him and went to Brian for help.

Even though he had legit reasons, Arin wondered if he should have at least confided in him. He wouldn't be able to help, at least not in the way Arin needed, but at least he would have been aware of the situation.

After all, Arin claimed Dan was his best friend.

Thinking about it from Dan's perspective. He could somewhat understand why he was upset.

If Dan had went to, say, Ross with a personal problem. Arin would have probably been bothered too.

It was too late now. Dan was angry and because of his condition, things had escalated between himself and Brian as a result.

Arin frowned. That was another problem.

Brian.

Arin had grown attached to him. He knew it would happen when he had first approached Brian with his problem, but he didn't know how deep the attachment would run.

Brian had shown a side of himself, that Arin had only caught glimpses of before.

Brian had been so understanding, accepting, caring and patient with him.

The complete opposite of the short tempered, manipulative smartass front, he usually showed the world.

Arin truly enjoyed having him around and even though it was for his condition, he couldn't help but seek out and sometimes crave the intimacy between them.

The way Brian would gently hold him in his arms after a session. The way his eyes would soften and tell him how proud he was with his progress. The way he would run his fingers through his hair, when they were lounging around. Seeing him genuinely laugh, and knowing he was the cause of the rare beautiful sound.

Brian had become special to him and he now couldn't see his daily life without him. The very thought made his chest ache.

You could say that he may have developed deeper feelings for the older man.

Arin's eyes slowly widened.

Was he?

Had he?

Fallen for Brian?

No way.

Arin leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, as he groaned.

Well, that threw a wrench in things, didn't it?

He could also feel another withdrawal coming on.

Shit.

His mind was too cluttered, and now with the new confusing revelation, it was too much.

The whole situation with Dan was stressing enough. Now, he might be in love with Brian.

Shit!

What about Suzy and Rachel?

What would Brian think?

“Dammit!” Arin swore.

He was speeding up his withdrawal. He needed to calm down.

The withdrawal felt like a bad one.

He was going to need to be grounded...again.

The past week, Suzy and Brian have had to ground him several times, because of the situation with Dan.

He knew he was becoming even more of a burden, which added on to his stress.

It was a vicious cycle he was caught in, dragging Suzy and Brian with him.

Arin sat back up, and grabbed his phone. He quickly sent a text to Brian, asking where he was.

A few seconds later, he received a text saying, he was on his way over.

Brian also asked if he needed a session.

Arin let his head fall back against the couch cushion, thinking about the question.

He did need a session, but now he wasn't sure if he needed it for his mental health, or for his own comfort.

And why did he automatically text Brian and not Suzy?

Damn.

How did things get so complicated?

Arin texted back a reply and tossed the phone onto the coffee table. He couldn't think right now. His head was too foggy.

Stretching out, he laid down on the couch, covering his face with his forearm, and waited for Brian to arrive.

___________________

Some time later, he was shaken awake. Arin blinked his bleary eyes. He must have dozed off.

His gaze rose to meet Brian's worried face.

“Hey. You alright?”

Arin paused.

No, he wasn't.

Thinking back to everything that was bothering him.

He was far from alright.

Brian must have understood, as he bent down and picked the larger man up.

Arin immediately wrapped his arms around Brian's shoulders, clutching him closely.

Brian turned and carried his young friend to the guest bedroom.

Gently lying Arin down on the bed, Brian straightened back up and closed his eyes.

He took a breath and let his feelings for the man below flow over him.

He had found it easier to get though the sessions if he used part of his own real feelings to push things forward.

It's not like Arin would notice.

Bending back down, Brian captured Arin's lips. The two, slowly pressing and pulling against the other.

Arin let his mouth part, eager to taste him.

Brian hesitated a moment, before allowing his tongue to slide in.

Arin wrapped his arms around Brian's broad shoulders, pulling him closer.

Brian took the hint and climbed onto the bed, positioning himself above Arin, as he deepened the kiss.

He couldn’t help but notice something seemed off with the session.

Arin was very responsive and seemed almost...needy.

It was quite the difference from the previous sessions, they'd had over the past week.

As his tongue tangled with Arin's, Brian couldn't help but compare them to two lovers and not just a friend helping a friend out with their problem.

Not that he was complaining. He just found it a bit odd.

Pulling back he stared down below himself.

Arin's face was completely flushed. His eyes hooded and filled with...was that lust or desire?

Arin's tongue darted out as he licked his swollen lips in a way that could only be described as seductive.

Fuck.

Brian's dick was straining painfully against his jeans. A quick glance down, showed Arin was in a similar state. His sweatpants hiding nothing from him.

Brian wasn't too sure what was going on but he had never wanted the man below him more than he did right then.

He reached up and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it across the room. He then did the same to Arin and followed suit with their pants.

Both men now only in their boxers, Brian pressed down, grinding his erection against Arin's.

Arin closed his eyes as he moaned loudly at the contact. Brian smirked.

He loved the sound of Arin's voice. It was almost musical to his ears.

He then bent down capturing the other's lips as Arin continued to grind their hard cocks together. The friction making him feel desperate.

“Fuck Brian...feels so good.” He gasped between kisses.

Brian stiffened.

Arin wasn't usually vocal during sessions.

In fact, he looked to be completely aware of what was going on.

Brian could feel confusion filling his mind, and the need to figure it out was slowing his movements.

Arin moaned again.

Brian grunted as he violently clamped down on his intruding thoughts. He pushed closer increasing the intensity of the kiss.

Goddamn, if Arin's deep voice wasn't sexy as hell.

Brian then lifted up, without breaking contact and reached between their bodies. His fingers hooked onto Arin's boxers and yanked them down.

He grabbed onto the swollen cock and squeezed lightly at the base.

Arin broke the kiss as his head fell to the side, groaning from the touch.

Brian moved towards his neck, dragging his tongue along the heated tanned skin. He moved his lips slowly against Arin's throat, licking and nipping softly as he traveled downwards, drawing small whines out of man beneath him.

Using his thumb, Brian began rubbing circles around the head of Arin's dick, spreading the gathered pre-cum flowing from the slit.

Arin was trembling below him, his hips making tiny thrusts, trying to get the man to stroke him.

Brian complied.

God, it felt so different than the other sessions.

Arin gasped as Brian begin to alternate between stroking and squeezing his dick. The pleasure he was feeling was almost too much.

Was this what he was missing when he was in his mind during all the other grounding sessions?

It was so good.

The way Brian's fingers and lips traveled across his body, leaving a hint of fire in their wake. The sure way he gripped Arin's sex, as if he knew exactly what Arin needed and how much he could take.

By now, maybe Brian did.

It was likely Brian knew his body as well as his own.

The thought made Arin shudder with arousal, causing him to buck into the other man's hand.

“Brian...fuck.”

Brian pulled away, and watched Arin and began stroking his steadily leaking cock. Watching all the small reactions he had come to memorize from their normal sessions.

“What is it Arin?”

Feeling the gaze on him, Arin opened his eyes, meeting Brian's. His breath caught, seeing the intensity within the blue orbs. The degree of lust, (that was lust, right?) within, directed at himself, causing Arin's body to flush. He couldn't help but squirm at the fire flowing through him.

Brian's eyes were that powerful. His body oozing masculinity as he continued to stare at the younger man.

Arin felt weak, vulnerable, and he had never felt more turned on.

The power.

The control Brian held over him.

Arin wanted more.

Arin's hips began moving faster, as he tried to fuck Brian's fist.

Trying to convey what he wanted.

“Fuck. I need you Brian.” He whined.

The bastard smirked.

“I don't quite understand.” He teased, squeezing his hand.

“Need me where, Arin?”

Arin groaned. It was so easy to forget.

The man who had been caring for and taking care of him for several months now, was also the same smartass, who could piss you off in an instant.

“Fuck...in me Brian...I need you in me.” He moaned.

“Fuck me, please.”

Brian dropped down, crashing their lips together, swallowing Arin's gasp of surprise.

Pulling back, he released his grip on Arin's cock, and quickly shed his own boxers. Reaching over, he pulled open the nightstand and pulled out one of the many bottles of lube within.

Arin slowly spread his legs, and grabbed the back of his knees, pulling them towards his chest, making an obvious show of it.

Brian unconsciously licked his lips, entranced at the open display before him. He felt like he couldn't get enough.

The trust Arin put in him was eye-opening, to say the least.

Arin's lips pulled into a little smirk as he watched Brian's dick twitched with interest. If filled him with satisfaction, knowing he could affect Brian as much as he affected himself.

Which was interesting, Arin thought. He already knew he was probably behaving differently than normal but so was Brian.

This session certainly felt different than the normal ones.

The biggest difference being Arin was fully aware of what was happening and, despite his own confusing feelings, knew he wanted Brian immensely.

Brian poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers. Placing the bottle to the side he moved forward.

With his index finger, he slowly circled around the puckered hole, as it clenched and released steadily.

Arin closed his eyes, letting the pleasure course through his body. Brian pressed the digit in, meeting little to no resistance.

That was a bit shocking. Arin's ass had practically sucked his finger in. He quickly added a second, Arin groaned in response.

Scissoring the two digits, Brian stretched the muscle. Arin was so relaxed, Brian was able to add a third finger soon after.

He began lightly thrusting the three digits in and out until Arin started rocking his hips in time with the thrusts.

“Brian...” He gasped.

“Please, fuck. I'm ready.”

Brian removed his fingers. Grabbing the lube, he slicked himself up.

He then grabbed Arin's hips, pulling the man towards him. Brian took his pulsing cock in hand and lined himself up.

As he started to push forward, he paused.

“Fuck! Condoms.” He muttered.

Brian moved to pull away, but Arin grabbed his arm and locked a leg around his waist, stopping his movement.

“I don't care. Fuck me Brian.” Brian frowned.

“Arin.” He said, a hint of warning in his voice.

Arin didn't back down.

“Brian. You know I've only slept with Suzy and you. And I know you've only slept with Rachel and me.”

Brian paused. That was true, but he still preferred to take precautions. Not to mention the effects, raw sex in a supposedly platonic relationship would have on him.

“Please Brian. I want to feel all of you, just this once.” Arin pleaded.

Brian bit his bottom lip.

Shit!

Did Arin know what he was doing to him?

Brian had just, not too long ago, accepted his deeper than friendship feelings.

Now, it felt like Arin was reciprocating those feelings. It really felt like they were lovers.

His thick dick was throbbing painfully in his hand.

It was confusing him, knowing Arin didn't feel the same, but he wanted it so badly.

Brian let out a sigh, closing his eyes. He moved back into position.

Just this once, he'd let himself indulge.

Let himself take advantage of Arin's needs to fulfill his own.

Just this once.

Brian pushed forward.

The head slipped through easily, Arin's body properly relaxed and stretched, accepting the intrusion as if it was natural.

Brian grunted as he continued to press forward. The wet heat, almost causing overstimulation without the usual layer of protection between them.

“Fuck.” Brian groaned out.

Arin's ass was rhythmically tightening around him as he pushed in.

He opened his eyes to see Arin staring back at him.  Eyes hooded and with a shit-eating grin spread across his face.

The little punk was doing it on purpose, he realized.

Brian smirked back.

Well, two could play at that game. Brian shifted his hips and thrusted forward, hitting Arin's prostate straight on.

Arin's eyes widened. His head falling back as he cried out.

“Oh Shit!”

Brian pulled out, leaving just the tip in and slammed his hips forward, hitting his prostate again.

“Fuuuuccckkkk!!”

Arin moaned loudly, his head thrashing from side to side, as Brian continued to pound into his body, with seeming no regards to the state he was in.

Brian kept thrusting, entering a rhythm, enjoying the sweet sounds mixed with colorful curses flowing out of Arin's mouth.

Brian smiled to himself. He had become so familiar with Arin's body, that he knew and could find every pleasure point with ease.

He thrusted in again, snapping his hips forward. Arin's body arched off the bed, as he gasped in ecstasy.

Brian leaned down, grabbing Arin's arms and pinned them above his head.

“You like this?” He asked breathing into Arin's ear.

Arin whimpered in response.

“You like it when I pound into your ass? That I can make you moan and scream with just a roll of my hips?”

As if to prove a point, Brian did just that, Arin couldn't stop the predictable moan even if he tried.

“Look at you. Completely open to me. I bet you'd let me do anything I wanted to you, wouldn't you?”

Brian paused a moment, wondering if he was going too far.

Looking at Arin's expression, he seemed to be taking the dirty talk well.

Good.

“I'm gonna use you like the slut you are.” He growled.

“Fuck!” Arin gasped. His breathing  quickening.

Brian's words were doing wonders to his body and his mind.

He wanted Brian to use him.

Wanted him to control him.

He wanted Brian to fuck him.

He wanted it all.

Brian then sped up. He could feel himself getting close. The familiar heat pooling into his center.

He shifted his grip on Arin's arm's, holding his wrists together with one hand, while his other grabbed his leaking dick, that was trapped in between their bodies.

“Brian...” Arin whimpered.

Brian's hand suddenly began to stroke slowly, too slowly. Arin groaned, as he tried to thrust up into the teasing appendage.

“Fuck! Brian, please!” He exclaimed.

Brian ignored the pleas, as he slowed his thrusts down too, matching his hand's pace.

He kept it up a few seconds until he stilled completely.

“Look at me, Arin.”

Arin opened his eyes and looked up in confusion.

Why the fuck did he stop?

Brian was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

Arin's chest was rising and falling rapidly, as he tried to catch his breath.

He could tell his whole body was flushed and slick with perspiration. Beads of sweat trickled down the sides of his face. His hair sticking to his forehead in clumps.

Brian looked to be in a similar state, but his breathing was more controlled, as he stared down at him.

“Brian?” He gasped out, rolling his hips, trying to urge him to move again.

Brian didn't budge. His blue eyes burning a hole through his young partner.

“Arin. Tell me.” He paused.

Arin quirked an eyebrow. Tell him what?

What did Brian want for him?

“Who do you belong to?”

Arin's eyes widened.

Oh, fuck.

Brian moved his hand, resuming the slow strokes on Arin's still painfully hard dick. Brian also began to move his hips, just barely thrusting in and out.

“Tell me, Arin.”

Brian's voice was calm, exuding his control and confidence.

But inside, was a different story. He was freaking out.

What the fuck was he saying?

What was he trying to do?

Had he lost his mind?

Had the differences in the session, fucked him up somehow?

Why the hell was he trying to claim Arin?

Was he going overboard with his self-indulgence?

Had he forgotten about Dan, not to mention his own wife?

Brian quickly shoved the thoughts away. He couldn't deal with them right now.

Stay focused on Arin, just Arin, he told himself.

He thrusted deeper, grazing Arin's prostate, shaking him out of his own shock.

“Arin.”

Brian put every bit of authority he had into his voice.

Arin's breath hitched.

Fuck!

What was it about Brian controlling him that turned him on so much?

Why did he want to do whatever he wanted?

Wanted to please him.

Submit to him.

What was it?

Arin closed his eyes, taking a breath, he gave in, meeting Brian's gaze directly.

“You, Brian. I belong to you.” He whispered, putting in every ounce of sincerity he felt.

Brian's eyes widened.

That sounded...too real.

He wasn't expecting that at all.

He smiled anyways, pleased, bending down and capturing Arin's lips.

“Good boy.” He praised, before pulling back.

He then sped up. His hips quickly moving forward in and out of the tight hole, his hand speeding up it's strokes to match his thrusts.

It didn't take long for both men to reach the edge.

Arin came first. Brian's name falling from his lips, as his body arched. Thick ropes of cum spurting out over his stomach and dripping over Brian's hand.

Brian kept thrusting through Arin's orgasm, even as his own hit him.

Arin had clenched tightly around his cock, pushing him over. Brian thrusted in once more, burying himself deep as he stilled.

He came, deep within Arin, who groaned at the feeling. The hot liquid hitting his inner walls causing tingles of pleasure to flow through him.

Brian slowly resumed his thrusts, milking himself completely, until the stimulation became too much.

Coming down, he released Arin's softening dick and his grip on Arin's wrists.

Leaning down, resting his body fully on the larger male's, despite the mess, he pressed their lips together. Arin immediately opened his mouth.

The two men sensually moved their lips and tongues against one another as their rapidly beating hearts calmed down.

Brian then sat up, and slowly pulled out his limp cock. Arin moaned at the sensation, as some of Brian's cum leaked out of his tender hole.

Brian then moved to lay beside him.

“You okay?”

He was a bit worried he had gone too far, having let his true feelings take over.

Arin turned his head, meeting Brian's worried gaze.

“Yeah. Fuck. I'm okay.” He whispered.

“More than okay."

Brian smiled. Leaning over, he placed a quick kiss on his lips.

“Good.”

Brian then got up off the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

“I'll be right back. Gonna get us some cloths to clean up with.”

Arin hummed his acknowledgment, as he watched Brian leave the room.

He then closed his eyes, letting himself bask in the afterglow.

He could feel the dull ache beginning to form in his rear. He was going to feel this one for a few days, he was sure.

It was a feeling he had come to love.

He could also feel Brian's cum still leaking out of his hole. That was a new sensation, but he liked it too.

Damn, there was a lot in there.

Arin clenched his cheeks, stopping the flow.

Just a little longer.

The thought of Brian leaving a part of himself inside his body, made the confusing feelings within him swell.

He belonged to Brian.

He wanted to belong to Brian.

He wanted Brian.

He loved Brian.

...Fuck.


	15. Chapter 15

Dan quietly opened the door, putting the key back into his pocket.

Slipping inside, he walk through the dark hall. Carefully avoiding bumping into anything.

He wasn't sure why he was being so cautious, nobody should be in, being so late in the evening.

Dan was at the Grump office.

It'd been over a week since he was last in the building.

He had a few things to do and what he needed happened to be at the office.

After his, what he was now calling a temper tantrum with Arin, he had avoided the building like the plague.

His original reason for cutting off communication from everyone, was to give himself time to calm down.

Then came his usual bout of moping, and that kept him away even longer, coupled along with the shame he felt for how he behaved.

Upon reflection, he realized he was way out of line. He had let his jealousy get the better of him, again.

He still wanted to know what was going on but he knew he had gone about it in the wrong way.

He was just grateful, he had mind enough not to repeat on Arin what he did to his mirror.

The thought that he could ever get to that point making him feel sick.

Dan maneuvered through the dark office and walked to Brian's desk. Grabbing his partner's laptop, he made his way to the couch in the stream area.

Sitting down, he turned on the device, hooked up his headphones and sat back getting comfortable.

Brian had texted him a few days ago, letting him know he had finished his new track compositions.

Even though Dan was expecting it, Brian didn't mention or question his behavior at all.

Dan figured if Brian could stay professional and continue to work on their band stuff, he could too.

Despite the current issues he had with Brian, he couldn't just stop working on their new album.

Though, Dan had already decided on waiting a while before recording his vocals. He knew his voice would sound off, if he tried to sing while things were still unstable.

He listened to the tracks for a while, bobbing his head to the music flowing into his ears.

The tracks were good. They could really work with them.

He could tell some of them were meant for their next Starbomb album.

Dan frowned.

Well, it looked like Brian really was unaffected by everything going on.

Dan once again ignored the small voice saying, because Brian wasn't being a childish brat.

There was no doubt in his mind that Arin had told Brian everything he had said. So far he had dodged, being cornered by him.

Not coming into the office and refusing to see him when he came to his and Barry's home worked well.

Thinking of his roommate, Dan sighed.

Barry had offered again to talk but Dan couldn't help but feel that he knew more than he let on and turned him down.

He seemed overly insistent on him talking to Arin and Brian, like he just knew it would solve everything.

Dan knew Barry was trying to help but he couldn't help the thought that Barry had betrayed him too.

It felt like everyone was against him and didn't bother with trying to see things his way.

'That's because they don't know everything that's going on. They don't know why you're so affected.' His traitorous brain unhelpfully supplied.

Dan rolled his eyes and clicked on the next track, letting himself drown in the cleverly crafted melodies.

He didn't notice when a figure moved into the room.

He suddenly felt the couch dip next to him.

The office was supposed to be empty.

Startled, he looked over. He froze, eyes widening, as a pair of hardened blue eyes met his own.

It was Brian.

Fuck.

The two stared at one another for a few more seconds, before Dan looked away first, unable to take the way he was looking at him.

He could see many emotions in the man's eyes, having known him for so long.

The most prominent he could see within was worry and disappointment.

Dan reached up and slid the headphones off his ears, and set them and the laptop to the side.

He cautiously looked back up at his older friend and gave a small smile, bracing himself for the angry lecture he could no longer avoid and deep down knew he deserved.

“Hey, Brian...”

Brian continued to stare at him, not giving much away in his expression.

Brian had been in the grump room, lying on the couch. Restlessness, keeping him from going home.

Between work, dealing with the effects of Dan's behavior on Arin, and his own emotions.

Brian was feeling on edge.

The only real relief he was getting was the grounding sessions with Arin, and even those were becoming more complicated due to his newly discovered feelings.

He had come out of the room to get a drink and to consider whether he wanted to get some work done or go home, when he noticed the glow of a monitor illuminating the familiar head of curls.

They were long overdue for a talk.

Dan was getting uncomfortable.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

He knew he was mad. He had to be.

So, why wasn't he ripping Dan a new one?

Brian then blinked, and turned away, fixing his gaze somewhere across the dark room.

Dan quirked an eyebrow as he heard him sigh.

“I understand, and...I'm sorry.”

Wait. What?

Dan gave him an incredulous look.

Why was he apologizing?

Dan was the one who fucked things up.

“The hell are you apologizing for? I'm the one who acted like a jealous kid.”

Brian nodded.

“Yeah, you did. But it wasn't entirely your fault.” He said, leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees, letting his head hang low.

“I should have said something, anything, but the situation...” He paused.

Dan turned away, running a hand through his hair.

“It's something really personal, isn't it?”

Brian nodded.

“Yeah. It is. It's just...Arin...he's gotta want you to know. I should've known this would happen. I actually did consider the possibility. You know, how this would look to you. Knowing how you feel about him. But I got distracted helping Arin, and I guess I just forgot...”

Dan nodded, understanding.

He felt awful.

He really had looked at everything wrong.

Brian and Arin weren't in a secret relationship.

His jealous mind created something from nothing.

Brian hadn't betrayed him at all.

“Fuck, man.” He swore, letting his head fall back against the cushions.

“God, I really fucked things up. I seriously thought you had betrayed me. Like, I actually thought you wanted Arin for yourself, or some fucked up shit like that.”

Brian didn't reply, keeping his gaze forward.

Brian wasn't positive that Dan's assumptions were entirely wrong anymore.

“Arin. How's...how's he doing?” Dan cautiously asked.

Now that he knew he was wrong, the worry for his friend he knew he had hurt came to the forefront.

'He could be better.' Brian thought to himself, before deciding on giving Dan part of the truth.

“He's understandably upset. The whole thing has been weighing on his mind. When you stopped showing up to work and ignored his texts and calls...he's been...depressed.”

Dan's fists clenched.

“Fuck!”

Dan dropped his head down and stared at the floor.

How could he be so stupid?

How could he treat Arin like that?

He loved him.

Would do anything for him.

Yet, here he was causing him pain and distress, because of his own pettiness.

Brian bit his bottom lip. He felt bad, but he needed Dan to understand how he was affecting Arin, without actually telling him what was going on.

“Look, man. I'm not trying to pile more guilt on you. I just need you to see that what you did. It's causing more problems.”

Dan looked back up, confused.

“What do you mean?” He asked, feeling even more worried.

“The shit I've been helping Arin with, is getting worse. You need to try and patch things up with him.”

Dan couldn't help but think, that it'd be great to know what was becoming worse and how exactly he was affecting it. But he held back.

Brian was right, he usually was.

Dan needed to fix things between them.

“Are there any sessions coming up.” He asked, figuring he could talk to Arin before or after one of them.

Brian nodded.

“Yeah, in a few days. Arin and I are doing Grumpcade, we could add you in.”

Dan winced a bit.

He had hoped to talk to Arin alone but he could understand Brian being cautious.

The last time he was alone with Arin, didn't end up well at all.

“Alright, I'll talk to him then.”

Dan watched as Brian turned towards him and gave him a small smile.

Dan couldn't help but notice how tired and sad his friend looked.

“Danny, I know how you feel about Arin and I completely understand. I just...need you to know that I would never intentionally betray or hurt you.”

Brian then stood up and walked away.

“I'm heading home. Goodnight.”

Dan stared after him, confused and worried at the seemingly cryptic words.

“Night, Bri.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, so this chapter has a lot of drama, violence...may have made Dan go too far...so yeah, proceed with caution

Dan opened the door to the office. Walking down the hall towards the stream area, he peered around the corner.

Not seeing anyone, he took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen area.

It was early evening. Brian had told him to come around five for the Grumpcade session.

He pulled open the fridge grabbing himself a bottle of water. Taking a slow drink, he sat down at the table.

Dan was nervous. He didn't know how anyone else would react to seeing him, after he had been gone for so long.

But looking around the office, he hadn't seen anyone yet, which wasn't odd, just unexpected.

Dan jumped as a pair of hands clasped down on his shoulders, causing him to knock over his water.

“Well, look who decided to come back to work.”

Dan blushed as he brushed the hands off his shoulders, and stood up turning to his assailant.

“Goddammit, Ross.”

Ross barked out a laugh as he passed Dan some paper towels. He then patted him on his back, and walked to his desk.

“Glad to see you back, man. Too bad most of us are done for the day.” He called over his shoulder, shutting down his equipment.

“You doing a session with Arin and Brian?” He asked, grabbing his bag, and making his way back over to the table.

Dan wiped up the liquid. “Yeah, something like that.”

Ross frowned.

“Yeah, well. Whatever's going on. I hope you guys figure it out.”

Dan paused meeting Ross' blue eyes.

Ross looked away, feeling embarrassed.

“I mean, you guys have got us all worried.” Dan smiled.

Ross didn't often get like this, and he felt touched that he was concerned at all.

“Don't worry Ross. I'm sure things will be okay.”

Ross gave him a toothy grin.

“Awesome. I'll see you later Dan.”

Dan watched as he bounced out of the room, headed for the exit.

Brian entered at same time, quirking an eyebrow at Dan, seeing Ross' smile.

Dan shrugged, as he threw away the soaked paper towels.

“It's Ross.” He offered.

Brian smirked, as if that was all the information he needed.

Brian walked towards his desk and sat down.

Dan moved to follow him but stopped when Brian gave him a pointed look.

“Arin should already be in the Grump room. He was resting on the couch earlier. I'll be there in a bit.”

Dan nodded, taking the not so subtle hint.

Entering the engineering room, Dan paused.

His hand on the door handle to the recording room.

'Well, here goes nothing.' He thought to himself, taking a breath.

He opened the door and stepped in.

“Hey Bri, I'm just about to set-” Arin cut himself off, as his eyes rose to meet Dan's.

Arin was currently on the floor, checking the equipment for the session.

He continued to stare, not quite believing Dan was there.

It had been nearly two weeks now, and for him to suddenly be there, Arin wasn't sure how to feel.

Dan swallowed. Despite running over what he was going to say several times, his mind had went blank.

The two men continued to stare at one another, unsure of what to say, letting the silence stretch into an uncomfortable length.

Arin turned away, breaking eye-contact and went back to setting up.

Dan felt a twinge of hurt, but ignored it.

The look on Arin's face from just seeing Dan was more painful than the seemingly easy dismissal.

Arin couldn't hide the open hurt and confusion on his features.

He still felt like he was missing something.  

Still not quite understanding fully what had happened between them, or how to prevent it from happening again.

Dan walked over to the couch and took a seat.

Arin kept his eyes on the equipment.

The tension in the air weighing down on both of them.

Dan took a breath, exhaling slowly.

“Arin...I'm...I'm sorry.”

Arin paused and looked up. He turned letting his eyes fall on the hunched over form of his cohost.

“I was being fucking stupid. I-I was jealous...” Dan paused, risking a glance at his friend.

Arin continued to watch. His  expression carefully neutral.

Dan looked away, continuing on.

“Just, seeing you and Brian...always together and being left out. It's stupid, but...it felt like I was losing you.”

Dan dropped his head down, his face flushing with shame.

“Brian told me he was helping you with some personal stuff. I don't understand why you didn't come to me with it and I still don't. Maybe one day you'll tell me.”

Dan ran his left hand through his curls.

Arin could see that it had healed, only faint scars covering it.

“What I'm trying to say is. I was a dick and let jealousy control me cause of the way I fe-” Dan cut himself off.

“Look man, I'm just, I'm really sorry.”

Dan closed his eyes.

There he did it.

He’d finally apologized.

Whether Arin accepted it, he didn't know.

Said man continued to stare at his friend.

On one hand he was glad that Dan had come back and apologized, but he couldn't help thinking, something was being held back from him.

Arin shook his head. One thing at a time.

“Thanks man. That really means a lot.” Arin began.

“I'm...I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you feel like that. Sorry dude.”

Dan waved his apology off.

“No need for you to be sorry man, you didn't know.” He said with a smile, meeting Arin's eyes.

The tense air surrounding them began to evaporate.

Dan sighed as he felt a weight lift off his shoulders.

There were still some things bothering him, but he now knew he could push them to the side.

He didn't want to lose Arin or Brian.

Not over this.

Speaking of which. Brian then entered the room.

He expression brightened, immediately feeling the shift in mood.

“So, what are we playing Arin?”

Arin stood up, and grabbed a game box off the shelf.

Turning towards his two friends he showed it to them, a wide grin on his face.

It was “Sonic: All Star Racing Transformed” for the Wii U.

Both men groaned.

“Are you serious? Ar, come on man.” Dan complained, as Arin laughed.

“It's not that bad dude. It'll be fun. Trust me.”

Brian rolled his eyes.

“And by “fun” you mean not fun, and probably a one-off. Besides, didn't you go on a rant before about Sonic not needing to drive a car, since he can run so fast?”

Arin ducked his head in embarrassment.

“Well, yeah. But I also said I'd never do “Let's Plays”, but here we are.”

Dan raised his hand in an imaginary toast.

“Touche, brosif.”

Arin placed the box down on top of the TV and went over to the accessory shelf to grab some controllers.

Meanwhile, Brian took a seat next to Dan on the couch, still grumbling about not playing something actually fun, while Dan laughed at his partner's complaints.

Arin came back and handed them their controllers and sat down on the other side of Brian.

Dan pushed down the feeling that tried to bubble up within him.

He was past that.

He needed to get over it.  

Which reminded him.

“Hey, Brian?” He started, clenching the controller a bit in his hands.

Brian glanced over.

“Hm?”

“I realized, I never apologized when we talked the other night.” Brian shook his head.

“It's cool, Dan. There's no need.” Brian said, obviously wanting him to drop it.

But Dan continued on.

“Dude. It's not cool. I was such a dick to both of you.”

Dan sat back into the couch, as he thought about how he overreacted.

“I can't believe I got so jealous.”

Arin reached forward to turn on the game.

“I mean, it's not like you guys were fucking or something.” Dan said, laughing at his own joke.

Arin froze in place, hand outstretched, before sitting back slowly.

Brian's eyes widened slightly.

Dan didn't miss any of it.

He'd known both of them for so long.

There was no way he could miss it.

The silence stretched.

The implications sinking in.

Dan could feel all the previous emotions he had buried, boil up within him.

The same emotions, that resulted in him punching his mirror.

Going off on Arin.

Feeling betrayed by everyone.

Without warning hit him like a tidal wave.

He was drowning, and there was no one to pull him out.

He was right.

He had been right all along.

Dan raised a trembling hand to his hair, pushing it out of his face.

His chest was tightening, his breaths coming out in quick exhales.

Dan turned his head, his eyes falling on Arin.

Arin was staring at him wide-eyed. His chocolate brown eyes filled with fear, his body trembling.

Dan couldn't help a sadistic part of him being satisfied.

Good.

He should be scared. A voice from within sneered.

His gaze moved to Brian, who's facial expression was neutral, but Dan could see from the way his jaw was set, that he was clenching his teeth.

Brian continued to stare ahead, trying not to give anything away.

But it was too late.

Dan knew.

Something in side him snapped.

“Are you...fucking kidding me?” He quietly asked.

Brian and Arin could hear the barely suppressed anger laced throughout his voice.

Dan leaned forward and stood up, dropping the controller.

Brian quickly followed suit.

“Danny, just calm down.”

Brian reached out a hand to his partner's shoulder.

Dan swatted it away.

“NO!! Fuck You, Brian!!!”

Dan backed away from him, shaking his head in disbelief.

He needed space.

“You're fucking him?!”

Brian didn't answer.

Just stared at him, pleading with his eyes.

“Danny. Please just listen.”

Dan was having none of it. His hands rose, gripping his curly hair tightly.

“You fucking son of a bitch!! I can't believe...You-you know how I fe-” Dan paused, cutting himself off.

 “You know what? I can't fucking do this, not again... I just...I can't.”

His hands fell to his sides and he headed to the door.

“I'm out.”

Brian rushed forward, grabbing his shoulder in a tight grip, stopping his movement.

“Will you fucking wait and listen for a second! This isn't all about you!” He hissed.

Dan's eyes widen.

He whirled around, shaking Brian's hand off.

Rearing back, he swung, his fist clenched tightly.

“YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!”

Dan's fist connected with Brian's face, causing him to cry out in shock and pain.

An explosion of white coloring his vision.

Stumbling back, Brian's hand immediately covered his throbbing eye.

“About me?!” Dan continued.

“From the beginning, it was only about you two! I wasn't fucking involved! Both of you tossed me to the side!”

Dan was livid. His face red, veins bulging in his neck, his breathing coming out in harsh gasps.

“How did you do it, Brian? Tell me! How did you convince him to let you fuck him?”

Dan then grinned cruelly.

“I bet it was some bullshit reason. You were after him from the beginning, weren't you?”

Brian's teeth clenched. His anger rising steadily.

“Dan.”

The warning was clear in his voice, but Dan didn't care.

Too lost in his own rage.

“You told me you were helping him! Fucking liar! What? Doing this for job security? Fucking our boss! Making sure he's loyal to you?”

Brian's fists tightened.

Dan wasn't done though.

“Does Suzy know about this? Rachel? You guys forget you're married? Bet Audrey's going to be surprised when she grows up to find out her father is a fucking cheating fag-”

Dan was cut off, as a large fist filled his vision, hitting him square in the face, knocking him back into the entertainment system.

The CRTV fell off the shelf with a loud crash.

“Fuck!” Dan yelled, reaching for his now bleeding nose.

Brian towered over him.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAN!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON!!” Brian roared.

He then ran forward, grabbing Dan by the lapels of his jacket, pulling the stunned man up until they were nose to nose.

“WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK? HUH? FUCKING TELL ME BRIAN!” Dan snarled in his face.

Gripping Brian's shoulders, he shoved him into the shelf against the wall filled with the video game accessories.

Brian cried out, as his right arm and head slammed into the metal frame.

The pain making him crumble to his knees.

Dan wiped the blood flowing from his nose with his sleeve, as he glared at Brian, his eyes wild with anger.

“YOU KNOW I LOVE ARIN!!! YET, HERE YOU ARE FUCKING HIM??!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MAN!!”

Brian remained silent, as blood seeped into his swollen eye.

He rose to his feet and moved forward.

He ducked low tackling Dan's midsection, the momentum sending them both crashing into the back wall.

Dan's mouth fell open in a silent scream as he felt his chest explode in pain from the pressure.

Meanwhile, Arin was still frozen on the couch.

His eyes impossibly wide as he watched Brian and Dan literally beat the shit out of each other.

The two men, who were usually closer than brothers, were at each other's throats and it was his fault.

It was all his fucking fault.

Because, he couldn't deal with anything on his own.

Because, he was so fucked up in the head.

Because he couldn't deal with a little pressure.

He had been such a burden to everyone.

Suzy, Brian, Dan, all the grumps.

Arin grabbed his chest. It was so tight.

He felt like he couldn't breath. The walls once again closing on him.

Why was he like this? Why couldn't he be normal?

His mind was beginning to drift. His body was starting to feel numb.

What?

That had never happened before.

Arin could feel the panic building.

This withdrawal felt different. It was feeling even worse than his bad ones.

He looked over to the still fighting men.

Barely able to make them out, his vision blurring. Quickly clouding over.

Arin opened his mouth to call out to Brian, but then paused.

Maybe he should let this happen.

Everyone...they would be better off without him, wouldn't they?

He was nothing but a burden.

Useless.

There was no reason for him to stay around.

No one needed him.

All he did was mess things up.

Tears begin to stream down his face, but he didn't notice. Even if he did, he wouldn't care.

The withdrawal was growing stronger and despite the alarming differences from the usual, Arin didn't care.

He wasn't going to fight it.

Not this time.

He would welcome the darkness and all it's terrors.

He deserved it.

He would just stay in his mind until he ceased to exist.

That way he would never burden or hurt anyone ever again.

Especially, those he loved.

————————-

Brian flew backwards, landing hard on the floor. His chest was heaving.

He could feel the bruises starting to form on his face, arms, and throat.

The right side of his body was burning with pain. His right eye nearly swollen shut.

'Fucking bastard.' He thought angrily to himself.

He raised his head slightly, wincing at the pain that shot through his head, to look at his...friend...partner?

He wasn't sure what they were anymore.

Dan was sprawled against the back wall, his eyes clenched shut.  

His mouth open, breathing heavily. A steady stream of blood still flowing from his nose.

His jacket was hanging off his shoulders. The shirt underneath ripped from the collar down to his stomach, which he was clutching tightly.

The thought that his ribs were cracked passed through his mind.

He opened his eyes to glare at his partner, but paused.

His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, as he looked past Brian.

Brian frowned.

What the hell was wrong with him?

Turning his head, Brian followed his gaze, his eyes coming to rest on Arin.

Brian's good eye widened as he saw the state the man he had come to love was in.

Arin's eyes were wide open, but completely glossed over. Staring at nothing.

There were tears streaming down his face. His skin was a ghostly pale.

It looked like he wasn't even breathing.

“Shit!”

Brian rolled over and pushed his battered, sore body up.

He had to get to Arin.

Had to stop him.

Brian quickly limped over, falling to his knees in front of the distressed man.

He pulled himself up, using Arin's legs as leverage.

Reaching up, he cupped the sides of his face, gently but firmly.

“Arin? Fuck! Arin?”

He didn't respond.

Brian could feel the panic growing inside him.

“Arin? Can you hear me?”

Brian gasped with horror, as he watched Arin's eyes cloud over, his pupils disappearing from sight.

“Dammit, Arin! Don't do this!!” He cried out.

Behind him, Dan slowly pushed himself up, cringing from the sharp pain in his chest.

Wiping his bloody nose, he forced himself forward, taking unsteady steps towards the others.

Dan had no idea what was going on.

What the fuck was wrong with Arin?

He had never seen him like this before.

Was this what Brian was dealing with?

“Brian!” He gasped out.

“What's-what's wrong with him? What's happening?” He asked, not bothering to hide his own rising panic.

Brian shook his head, quickly stopping the movement, the pain making him dizzy.

“He's...he's withdrawing into his mind...and he's fucking doing it on purpose!!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dan cried. His own confusion frustrating him.

Brian ignored him. He had to do something, before they lost Arin for good.

He couldn't lose him.

Not now.

Not like this.

Dan watched as Brian's expression shifted from worry to determined.

What was he going to do?

Brian pulled Arin's face towards his, pushing their mouths together.

Using his tongue, he parted Arin's lips, deepening the kiss.

He then moved one hand down between Arin's legs, grabbing his soft crotch and squeezed tightly.

He had to forcefully bring Arin back.

Hopefully, he wasn't too late.

—————————-

Arin opened his eyes. He was floating again.

He had been in the same situation so many times before, it no longer bothered him.

What did bother him, was the menacing darkness he was clearly headed towards.

The same darkness that had resulted in his forced coma, years ago.

Even though he knew nightmares, loneliness and pain lay within the terrifying mass, Arin welcomed it.

He deserved it.

All of it.

The darkness could take him and this time it would be for keeps.

Arin's body suddenly jerked.

A strong sensation of pain shot through him.

'No! Fuck!' he thought to himself, as the familiar whirlwind of colors surrounded him.

Arin tried to pull away, to escape.

He wasn't going back, not this time.

Not after everything he caused.

He continued to fight, but the colors swirled faster around him, closing in on his metaphysical body.

The mass suddenly exploded, a bright light flashing, causing Arin to shield his eyes from the intense glow.

When the light died down, he looked up to see he was now surrounded by a cloud of pink, swirling slowly around him.

Arin frowned.

That color represented love.

Was Suzy there?

The mass of color slowed to a stop, parting in front of Arin like a curtain.

Arin's eyes widened as Brian's full body appeared, walking through.

Arin shook his head at the sight.

How?

Why?

Arin didn't know what to think as the transparent form of the man he loved and depended on, wrapped his strong arms around him, pulling him close.

Arin gasped, feeling his body warm from the intense emotions he felt from him.

Arin tried to fight back, push him away, but he couldn't.

He was too mentally exhausted.

He could feel himself taking comfort in the loving embrace, he knew he didn't deserve.

Brian was pulling him back.

Brian wanted him back.

Arin closed his eyes and gave in.

 —————————-

Dan watched in silence, as his best friend's eyes cleared.

He still had no idea what was going on.

He had yelled at Brian when he began kissing Arin, but was ignored.

He had even considered pulling him away, but hesitated.

He could feel something more was going on, something bigger and decided to wait and see what happened.

Arin could feel Brian's tongue within his mouth, and a tight but bearable pressure on his crotch.

He reached up and gripped the hand on his face.

Feeling the touch, Brian pulled back, his eye rising to meet Arin's. 

“Arin?”

Arin swallowed the lump in his throat.

One word had never held so much weight to it.

He could hear the worry, the relief, the love, all mixed together within Brian's voice.

He didn’t deserved this.

The unhidden love he could now clearly see.

He fucking didn't deserve it.

Arin looked down, tears welling up again.

Brian opened his arms.

“Arin...come here.” He said with a small smile.

With a choked sob, Arin threw himself into Brian's body, burying his head into his shoulder.

Brian instantly wrapped his arms around him, ignoring the pain.

Dismissing his own discomfort, Brian rubbed Arin's back in small circles and whispered comforting words into his ear.

 —————————-

Several minutes passed, before Arin calmed down.

Brian slowly stood up, and gently pushed him to lie back on the couch.

Arin didn't resist. His body and mind beyond exhausted. His eyelids were drooping, Arin could barely keep them open.

Arin looked over at Dan, inwardly cringing at the state his co-host was in.

Both men had really done a number on each other.

Arin could feel another wave of shame and regret flow over him.

He could also see the same look in Dan's eyes as Brian's.  

Dan's earlier angry words drifting back to the forefront of his mind.

Why?

How could they love him?

He did nothing to deserve it.

Arin looked back at Brian.

“Please tell him...everything.” He said quietly.

“I'm sorry....” Arin whispered, his eyes closing. His body finally succumbing to it's exhaustion.

Brian let out a sigh, wiping the tear tracks off his young friend's face.

He then looked up at Dan, who awkwardly met his eye.

Brian slowly stood up and turned towards him.

Dan braced himself, unsure of what would happen now.

He already felt like shit in more ways than one.

He had really fucked things up.

Again.

“Dan.”

Brian's voice cutting through his self-deprecating thoughts.

“..Yeah?”

Brian took a breath.

“He wants me to tell you everything, and I will, just...not now.”

Dan nodded, understanding.

While he really wanted to know what was going on and what the fuck it was he just witnessed, he knew it would have to wait.

Both he and Brian were a wreck and most likely needed to be treated.

Dan didn't know the extent of the damage he had done to Brian, but he could feel the damage he received, and it felt serious.

“Alright. We'll talk later.”

Brian nodded, and turned back to Arin's sleeping form.

He took a breath and bent down, picking the larger male up, to Dan's surprise.

“Get the door for me.” He calmly said.

Dan snapped out of his shock, at Brian's casual display of strength and carefully moved to the door.

The two men exited the recording room.

A temporary truce in place as they go their separate ways to give themselves time to heal physically.

The mental healing would have to wait.


	17. Chapter 17

Brian put the car into park. Turning off the engine, he sat back against the seat.

With a sigh he ran his left hand through his hair.

He had just arrived at Arin and Suzy's home.

Looking to his right, his eye fell on his still sleeping companion. Arin was slumped down in the seat, his head hanging limp against his shoulder. His breathing coming out a bit ragged.

Brian couldn’t imagine he was getting a good rest, having been forced into it by his exhausted mind, and especially not after what had just happened.

Brian ran a hand over his face, mindful of his swollen eye.

Even though he and Dan had left on somewhat peaceful terms, things were still not okay.

Brian carefully exited the car, his body still sore and aching from the fight. He walked around the vehicle and opened the passenger door.

He was vaguely aware of the front door of the house opening behind him.

Bending down, he looked at Arin's sleeping ace. Reaching out a hand, he gently caressed the side of his face.

His lips pulled upward into a sad smile. The feeling of longing welling up within himself.

God, he loved Arin.

He loved him so fucking much, and...he wanted to be with him.

Brian's smile faded.

The way things were looking, he may have to step away. The very thought filling him with sorrow.

“Brian?”

He turned to see Suzy come up next to him. She gasped seeing the condition he was in.

His face littered in darkening bruises, his right eye swollen shut, his shirt ripped in several places.

“Oh my god! Brian!” She cried, quickly glancing over Arin, checking to see if he was injured too.

“Don't worry Suzy. He's okay...physically at least...” Brian assured, bending down, getting his arms under the larger male.

With a painful grunt, Brian lifted Arin out of the car. Suzy closed the door, as he turned towards the house.

Walking through the door, Brian headed straight for the couple's bedroom, Suzy trailed closely behind.

Despite what Brian said, she was very worried. Brian looked like he had been in some kind of bar brawl, and he looked so upset. She had never seen him in such a state.

Brian had always been the strong one of the group, always in control, always with a level head.

Seeing him now, he looked as if he was on the verge of a break-down, and it was...distressing.

Suzy watched silently, as Brian laid Arin on their bed. Something he'd done many times before. His touch lingered as he stared again at the younger man's face.

Her worry increased as she watched him run his left hand through Arin's hair, she had noticed his right arm, now hanging limply at his side, was red and seemed to be swelling.

“Brian?”

Brian straightened and turned to face her. Suzy could see multiple emotions in his eye. His gaze full of sorrow, shame, regret, and...longing.

“Please, tell me what happened.” She pleaded.

Brian closed his eye and took a breath.

“Dan...he...he found out...about...the groundings. That I was...sleeping with Arin.” Brian said quietly.

“We...uh...we got into a fight.” He paused, feeling tears pricking at his eye.

He couldn't do this.

Not now.

“Suzy, I...I don't feel well. C-Can this wait?”

Suzy nodded. As bad as she wanted to know, she could see Brian was in no condition to discuss what happened.

Not yet.

“Okay. Why don't you go rest in the guest room?”

Brian nodded his thanks.

Taking another look at Arin, he walked to the bedroom door.

“Let me know if you need anything.” She said as he turned the corner.

Suzy took a breath.

Approaching the bed, she looked down at her husband.

Now closer, she could see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, the crease in his eyebrows, setting his face into a restless frown.

Suzy couldn't imagine what had happened, but judging from Brian's physical and mental condition, it was bad.

She sat down on the bed and began lightly stoking Arin's hair. He unconsciously leaned into the touch, causing her to softly smile.

Suzy reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She waited patiently for the line to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Rachel?”

“Hi, Suzy. What's up?”

“...Um.. Brian is...staying over tonight to...recover a bit...” Suzy hesitantly explained.

“Oh no! What happened?” Rachel cried, hearing the unsure tone in her voice.

Suzy took a breath.

“Dan...he knows...”

———————————-

Brian slowly walked into the guest room. His body was aching all over. He was so tired and in a lot of pain.

He glanced around the room, that he frequented so much. They might as well call it his room.

He winced as a stab of pain shot through his head.

He wondered if he had a concussion. His right arm was feeling weird too, swelling up just like his right eye.

The thought crossed his mind, that maybe he should get some ice, or better yet go to a clinic.

He dismissed both and let himself collapse on the bed, mindful of his right side.

He rolled over onto his back and just stared at the ceiling with his one eye, trying not to think about anything, especially what had happened.

After a few minutes of staring into nothingness, he felt a vibration. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone.

It was a text from Barry.

Dan's ribs were only bruised, not broken. The same with his nose.

Brian placed the phone on the nightstand.

A fresh wave of guilt and shame overcoming him.

He had completely lost control.

He could have really hurt Dan.

Brian clenched his eye shut, moving onto his left side, and curling in on himself.

He had wanted to hurt Dan.

The things his partner had said.

The accusations he made.

Brian, in that moment, had wanted to shut him up for good.

He took a shuddering breath.

To have such dark thoughts towards his friend.

His best friend.

It scared him.

Brian tried to blink back the tears gathering in his eye.

He was supposed to be the older, more mature one out of all of them, but he had acted no better than Dan.

Letting his emotions control him.

Lashing out in anger.

It was shameful.

Then there was Arin.

How close he had come to losing him. Knowing he was part of the reason the young man tried to leave them.

That he had added on to his worries and stress, when he was supposed to be helping negate them.

Brian choked out a sob.

“Fuck!”

All the emotions within were rushing to the top, overflowing.

The worry, when the truth slipped out.

The anger, reflecting Dan's.

The fear, of losing Arin.

The relief, when he was able to bring him back.

The guilt and shame for how he behaved and handled everything.

Another sob forced it's way out.

Brian covered his mouth, trying to keep quiet.

He didn't want to worry Suzy anymore than he already had.

His body shook, as he tried to reel his emotions back in.

He couldn't hold it in anymore.

The tears overflowing.

His strength.

His control.

All of it was gone.

He was so tired.

Brian gave in and let himself go for once.

Let himself cry out his frustrations, his anger, his sorrow.

————————

Several minutes later, his tears began to dry up.

His breathing slowly evening out. He rolled back onto his back.

His arm and head were throbbing, reminding him he should really go to a clinic.

But he couldn't be bothered, not now.

His eye was blurry, struggling to stay open, his body felt sluggish.

He was exhausted. His eye slid close.

The stray thought, that he shouldn't sleep if he suspected a concussion, floated through, keeping his mind aware a little longer.

After a while, despite the risk, Brian let himself fall into a much needed rest, letting the darkness claim him.


	18. Chapter 18

Dan closed the door to the office and made his way to the stream area.

Brian had just left, taking Arin home to recover.

Dan gently sat down onto the couch. Pulling his phone out, he tapped out a text.

He then carefully stretched his lanky body along the couch's length, groaning from the sharp pain he could feel in his chest.

He raised a hand, tenderly touching his stuffed nose. Pulling out the the soaked tissues, he briefly wondered if it was broken.

Brian had gotten him good, and Dan had a sneaking suspicion, he had been holding back.

Brian had looked as banged up as he did but he had picked up Arin, a man larger than them both, like it was nothing.

Dan let out a groan, thinking about the subject of his and Brian’s fight.

He was so confused about what had happened.

From what he could gather, Arin had been in some sort of trouble, and Brian obviously knew what to do.

Dan frowned.

How kissing him and grabbing his dick helped, Dan had no idea, and he still didn’t really know how to feel about that.

Brian had said they would talk later, but there was no telling when that would happen.

No matter his curiosity, Dan honestly, didn't want to see either of them, anytime soon.

He needed time, and was sure they did too.

Dan closed his eyes, as he felt the shame rise in him, remembering what he had done.

Not only had he hit Brian, something he never thought himself capable of. He had also said some terrible things to his long-time friend.

He had pushed the normally calm and passive man to the brink. Dan actually wasn’t surprised Brian punched him in the face.

After the things he had said, he fucking deserved it. He couldn't blame him for retaliating.

But at the same time, Brian was fucking Arin. He had been fucking the man he loved behind his back, for who knows how long now.

Sure, Dan felt bad for what he did and said to Brian, but wasn’t his anger justified?

He had trusted Brian, and that trust was thrown back in his face.

He couldn’t see how anything Brian had to say to him would make any of this right.

Dan let out a breath.

There was no point and getting himself worked up.

Dan covered his eyes with his forearm. He hoped Barry got there soon. The pain in his chest was worrying him. He was almost positive his ribs were cracked or something.

After a while, the door to the office opened, with Barry walking in.

“Dan?”

“Over here.” He weakly called.

Barry walked through the hall, coming into the stream area. His eyes widened, seeing the state his roommate was in.

Dan looked up at him from the couch.

His face was covered in bruises, dried blood caked around his nose. His shirt was barely hanging on his body, a large rip in the front, exposing his badly bruised chest.

“Jesus! What the fuck happened, man?” Barry exclaimed, rushing over.

Dan let out a harsh laugh.

“Oh, you know me. Clumsy and shit.”

Barry fixed Dan with an angry glare.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Dan.”

Dan looked away, sobering up.

“Sorry.” He said, feeling bad he had now upset his friend.

“Brian and I got into a fight.”

“What the fuck over!” Barry cried.

Dan glanced over, now annoyed.

“I’m sure you know.”

Barry hesitated.

“What…uh..what happened?”

Dan pushed himself up off the couch, grunting as his chest constricted from the movement.

He looked Barry straight in the eyes.

“Did you know that Brian was fucking Arin?”

“He’s what?”

Dan closed his eyes. He was getting angry again.

Fuck.

“You heard me Barry. He and Arin have been fucking each other.”

Barry looked down in thought.

Was that what Brian had meant by things escalating between him and Arin?

Dan’s eyes narrowed. Barry obviously knew more than what he was telling.

Why the fuck was everyone betraying him?

“Barry…did you know about this?”

Barry quickly looked up, hearing the accusation in Dan's voice.

“No!” He quickly said.

“I mean, I did talk with Brian about some stuff, but I didn’t know about that.”

Dan flopped back into the cushions of the couch, ignoring the pain the movement caused.

Dan wasn’t sure if he believed Barry.

Why should he?

There was no telling what Brian had told him.

Dan paused, as a thought occurred to him.

Barry had offered to talk with him several times about the situation and he had turned him down each time.

What if talking to him could have shed some light on just what was going on?

On whatever it was he was most likely missing.

Dan sighed.

Well, it was too late for that now.

Barry came over and took a seat next to Dan.

“Did Brian say why?” He quietly asked.

“What are you talking about Barry.” Dan asked tiredly.

He was ready to go home and get in his bed.

“Did he say why...he was fucking Arin?”

Dan gave him an incredulous look.

Had his friend lost his mind?

Why the fuck would he need a reason?

Seeing the, 'are you fucking serious?', look he was being given, Barry looked down.

“You've known Brian a lot longer than me. Does it really make sense for him to do this to you without a good reason?”

Dan stilled.

Barry was right. He had known Brian a long time.

What Dan believed was happening, what he believed Brian was doing, it was all out of character for him.

Brian could be a dick at times, actually most of the time, but when it came down to it, he could be counted on and trusted with just about anything.

Dan could feel the doubt coming back. The doubt he had been continuously suppressing. The doubt that he had been looking at everything wrong.

He ran a hand through his curly hair.

“Barry...I-I don't know what to think anymore.”

Barry's eyes softened.

At least Dan was considering the possibility.

Barry couldn't outright tell Dan what he knew, but he could at least try and lead him in the right direction.

Something he had been wanting to do since Dan injured his hand, with the mirror.

“Dan. What did Arin have to say?”

Dan looked up at Barry, worry reflected in his eyes.

“I..I don't know. Something...was wrong with him. Brian was yelling. Something about withdrawing.” Dan took a breath, looking away.

“He sounded so scared.” Dan's fists clenched.

“Arin wasn't moving or responding. I don't know what the fuck was going on. Couldn't even see his eyes. Then Brian...Brian fucking kissed him, and then he...woke up? I guess?”

Dan shook his head, and slowly stood up on his unsteady legs.

“I don't fucking know. Brian and I are supposed to talk at some point.”

Barry looked up in surprise. They were going to talk?

“Arin told him to tell me everything before he passed out.”

Barry stood up, wrapping his arm around Dan's waist steadying him.

“Maybe everything will become clear once you guys do talk.” He suggested.

Dan nodded.

“I hope so. If there really is something else going on...I-I just want to understand. Arin and Brian mean so much to me. Fuck! I don't want to lose them, man.” He said quietly.

Barry nodded his agreement.

“I'm sure they don't want to lose you either. Come on. Let's go get you checked out. “

The two men slowly made their way out of the office.


	19. Chapter 19

Arin groaned weakly as he woke up.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he looked around. He was in his bed.

For a moment, Arin was confused.

What had happened?

Why was he at home?

Wasn’t he at the grump space?

He grabbed his head, as all the earlier events rushed back to him, making him dizzy.

Dan’s anger.

Brian’s anger.

The fight.

Him giving up.

Brian not letting him go.

The unrestrained love, he knew he didn’t deserve, and could now see in Brian’s and Dan’s eyes.

Arin curled up on his side, feeling the tightness return with a vengeance.

Fuck!

Everything was worse than he thought.

“Arin?”

He looked up to see Suzy enter their bedroom. She climbed onto the bed and scooted closer to him.

Arin leaned into her, as she wrapped an arm around him.

“How are you doin?”

Arin huffed out a breath, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

“Could be better…a lot better.” He answered honestly.

“Suzy…everything is so fucking messed up.”

“What happened?” She cautiously asked.

Brian hadn’t said much, before going to bed, not that he didn’t try. He was just too upset.

Suzy was going on assumptions, but needed clear answers.

Arin let out a shaky breath.

“They, um…Brian and Dan…they both…love me?” He said, not quite believing what he was saying.

Suzy’s eyebrows rose.

She had known about Dan, but Brian too?

The possibility was there, but she wasn’t sure it would actually happen. Brian’s earlier behavior made a whole lot more sense now.

Arin continued on.

“Dan…he, uhh…found out that Brian was fucking me and…he just lost it. There was yelling…screaming…blood…” Arin trailed off, running a trembling hand down his face.

“It’s all my fault. It’s my fucking fault!”

Suzy tightened her grip on his shoulder, pulling him to lean back against her. Using her other hand, she rubbed it gently up and down his arm.

“Arin, please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

Arin shook his head, looking at her, clearly not agreeing.

Suzy’s heart clenched, seeing the pure pain in his brown eyes.

“How could it not be Suze? My fucking problems. If I wasn’t so screwed up, none of this would be happening. Everything we’ve built together. Grumps, NSP, Starbomb, all of it could fall apart because of this. Dan and Brian…they need each other, and I need Dan, and fuck I need Brian too.” He paused, taking a breath.

Suzy frowned.

“Arin please. You’re not screwed up. You are an amazing man, who has changed and bettered so many lives. There’s so much you take upon yourself. So many things you do for all of us, that we’ve come to take it for granted.” She hugged him close.

“Your condition isn’t a burden to any of us. We want to help you. We all love you so very much.”

Arin sighed. He wanted to believe her. He really did.

He looked up at her sadly.

“What about Brian and Dan?”

Suzy leaned over, kissing his cheek.

“I know they both love you and they would never see you as a burden. It’s just..” She paused looking down.

“circumstances and misunderstandings have made things…difficult. But I know we’ll all get through this, eventually.”

Arin’s lips twitched up into a small smile.

He did feel a bit better.

Suzy was amazing. She seemed to always know what to say, and when to say it. He loved her so much. He couldn’t help but think that she deserved better.

Arin’s smile fell away.

They all deserved better. Suzy, Brian, Dan. He felt like if he wasn’t there, they would be happier.

But here Suzy was, telling him he had made and was making a difference.

He remembered Dan saying that his life had improved so much after meeting him, even though Arin was originally just another fan of his.

And Brian…Brian had forced his way into Arin’s mind, surrounding him with his love, and brought him back.

Arin let out a breath.

Maybe he was worth it. Even though, he, himself didn’t think so.

There must be something within him that the others wanted and who was he to be selfish and take whatever it was away from them?

Arin leaned back, wrapping his arms around Suzy.

She smiled, sensing the shift in his demeanor.

“Feel a little better?”

Arin nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. Thanks babe.”

Suzy’s smile widened into a grin, she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Pulling back she climbed off the bed.

“I’m going to check on Brian. Do you need anything?” She said without thinking.

Arin’s eyes widened.

“Brian’s here?”

Suzy slowly nodded. She mentally berated herself.

She shouldn’t have brought up Brian. Not yet.

Not when Arin was beginning to feel better about himself.

“He…He brought you home. He’s resting in the guest room.”

Arin sat up and got off the bed.

“How is he?” He asked genuine concern in his tone.

Suzy looked away. She could feel the somber mood returning.

“He, um…he’s pretty banged up. Rachel told me to take him to a clinic later.”

“It’s that bad?” Arin quietly asked.

He had only seen the beginning of the fight and while he did see Brian and Dan when he was brought back, he had passed out too quickly to commit their injuries to memory.

Arin took a breath, calming his thoughts.

It would do no good for him to become overwhelmed again, especially now.

He walked around the bed, coming to a stop before his wife.

“I-I want to see him.” Suzy nodded and turned, walking out the door, Arin close behind.

 ————————-

Suzy opened the door to the guest room. Arin bit back a gasp, his eyes falling onto the form of his older friend.

Brian was laid out on his back. His face splotched in purplish black bruises. His right eye covered in a large swollen lump, while his left was tightly closed shut.

There was dried blood on the right side of his head and at the corner of his lips. His right forearm was red and looked to be swollen, darkening around the edges as more bruises slowly formed.

His bruised chest was rising and falling at a slow pace underneath the tattered remains of his shirt.

Arin could feel his chest constricting. He walked further into the room, brushing by Suzy, who kept her eyes on her husband, watching his face closely.

Arin came to a stop at the side of the bed and looked down at the man he had come to love.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Arin reached out a hand and gently caressed Brian’s bruised cheek.

Brian groaned at the touch, leaning into it.

“Arin…don’t…leave…” He mumbled softly in his sleep.

Arin’s breath hitched.

He climbed onto the bed, beside the sleeping man’s body.

Choking back a sob, he gently wrapped his arms around Brian’s torso, avoiding his injuries and pulled him closer to him.

Arin buried his face into Brian’s neck, as his tears overflowed, trailing down his cheeks.

Suzy brought a hand up to her chest, gripping her shirt tightly.

Seeing Arin so upset, she was hurting so much for him.

The way he was curled up against Brian, crying his heart out for the one who had become such an important part of their lives.

Suzy could feel her own tears streaming down her face, as she watched Arin.

She could see it now.

See it in his eyes.

What she had thought would happen since the beginning, since she had decided that Brian would be the best to help them.

Arin.

He was in love with Brian.


	20. Chapter 20

Rachel ran her hands through her husband’s hair. It was getting a bit long.

With everything going on now, getting a haircut seemed low on the priority list.

The couple were currently in their bed.

Brian was curled up against her body, his arms tightly wound around her waist, as if he was afraid she would disappear.

Rachel sighed.

He probably still believed it, no matter how much she assured him that wasn’t the case.

Would never be the case.

He had come home not too long ago. He had spent the night and most of the day at Arin and Suzy’s house.

Suzy had called her the previous night and told her that something had happened with Dan and Brian was injured.

Rachel had asked if she knew what happened, but at the time Suzy didn’t know.

She had said Brian was too upset to talk about it, which had the young woman very worried.

Rachel understood.

Suzy and probably everyone but Dan had most likely never seen Brian in such a state.

She had told Suzy to just let him rest and after getting a rundown of his injuries, to make sure he went to a clinic to get checked out.

Suzy had agreed and hung up feeling a bit better.

Rachel looked down at her husband.

His face was still covered in scratches and bruises. He still had a sizable lump above his right eye. The swelling had gone down some, due to the ointment from the clinic visit. He still wasn’t able to fully open his eye, though.

They also found out he, thankfully, didn’t have a concussion. The doctors wanted them to keep an eye out for any delayed symptoms, just in case.

His right forearm was now covered in a cast. The doctors had found a sizeable fracture in his bone and it was aggravated further from the strain of continued use and from carrying Arin’s body. He would have to wear it for a few months before it healed.

Brian had initially tried to fight going to the clinic, but Suzy managed to convince him with help (read-ordering) from Rachel on the phone.

After the visit he had stayed with Arin and Suzy for most of the day.

He had promised to tell Suzy what happened, and he also wanted to make absolutely sure Arin was okay. Which he wasn’t, but that was to be expected.

Arin was just relieved to know Brian and Dan would both, physically at least, be okay.

Suzy had driven him home, worried for him since he was prescribed powerful pain killers.

Rachel frowned, remembering seeing the state of her husband.

Aside from all the physical injuries, what she noticed the most, was the shame she saw in his eyes as he tried to avoid looking at her.

She let him rest a bit more, not wanting to push him into talking so soon.

He was ready to talk, when they were getting settled down for bed.

He had started off apologizing profusely, saying he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. That he thought he could handle it, but now things had spiraled so far out of his control, and he had no idea what to do.

Rachel had listened patiently as Brian laid himself bare, getting everything off his chest.

He told her first and foremost about his feelings for Arin. How he never thought he would fall for his young boss, and how he was a shitty husband and father and wouldn’t be surprised if she left him, even though he still loved her dearly.

Rachel had to stop him there.

Vehemently reiterating she wasn’t leaving him, that he couldn’t help how he felt and she still loved him and would continue to support him in whatever he decided.

That had calmed him down a bit, until he told her about what happened with Dan.

He was upset and ashamed at how he had lost his temper on his partner, despite being attacked first and the things Dan had said.

Brian believed he should have kept calm no matter what happened. Should have avoided the fight, and the dark thoughts he was harboring for his best friend.

He told her, he had really wanted to hurt Dan.

Wanted to do whatever it took to shut him up.

He was so relieved to learn he hadn’t seriously injured him.

He told her about how scared he was, when he realized what was happening to Arin, and knowing he had a hand in causing it. He talked about the desperation he felt trying to bring him back.

Letting his feelings for Arin completely control him and how relieved he felt when Arin came back.

By that point, Brian was exhausted.  

Recounting and reliving the many emotions so soon after they had actually occurred. Not to mention the meds he was on, making him drowsy.

Rachel had stopped him, knowing he really needed the rest.

That was how she found herself now, curled up in bed with her husband, gently petting his head as he slept.

From what he told her, things were very tense between the three men, especially him and Dan.

He and Dan were eventually going to sit down and talk. Arin had told Brian to tell Dan everything.

Even though nothing had been resolved, she knew that Brian unloading everything to her would clear his own mind and push him to a quicker mental recovery.

One of the basic foundations of their marriage was to communicate and not hold anything back.

So far, it worked well for them.

While Brian still had trouble with giving up his control over things, he had become better at not holding his worries within.

Looking down at her husband’s face, she could still see the worry in his expression, but it was more relaxed than before, and really that was all she could hope for.

Rachel didn’t know if the situation would improve or deteriorate further.

She bent down and kissed Brian gently on his forehead. She smiled softly.

All she knew was she would stay by his side and support him no matter what the future had in store for them.

All of them.


	21. Chapter 21

Brian sat back against the couch. He let out a sigh running a hand through his hair.

It was late in the evening and he was alone in the grump room, waiting for Dan to show up.

It had been about a week since their fight.

Brian, Arin and Dan had all stopped coming into the office.

Focusing on healing, and at the same time worrying everyone else.

Barry and Suzy couldn’t go a day without someone asking how the three men were doing, and if everything would be okay.

The only thing they could give, was their hope it would get better, not really easing everyone’s worries.

The main worry was if they should put the main grump show on hiatus.

Kevin had run out of episodes and backup episodes to upload and they were surviving on guest Steam Trains and Grumpcades.

Not only that, but for a while the fans had been noticing the lack of Arin, Dan and Brian, and the rest of the grumps sounding off in their own playthroughs.

As if they were forcing themselves to be funny, not sounding natural at all.

The Grumps, NSP and Starbomb social medias were being updated sporadically, Brian not able to keep up, along with no updates at all on Arin’s and Brian’s personal social sites.

Things were getting antsy for everyone.

Brent had actually contacted Brian personally and told him that if things didn’t pick back up, they risked losing the channel support along with everything that had spawned from it and in turn everyone’s main source of income.

Brian had steeled himself and texted Dan, telling him to meet him at the office so they could have their talk.

Dan had responded, saying he’d be there in 15 minutes.

Brian let his head rest on the back cushion. He wondered how this would go.

Normally, he would have some idea of the possible outcomes, but he had already lost his control over everything.

He could no longer predict Dan’s reactions.

Hell, he couldn’t even predict his own anymore.

He and Dan had both behaved in ways, he would have never thought possible of either of them.

Brian knew he and Dan had changed, and he didn’t think it was for the better.

He also wasn’t naive enough to think things would ever go back to the way they were before Arin approached him.

That was a child’s dream.

Brian was now, for once in his life, approaching the future blind. Dealing with things as they came.

He looked up as the door to the Grump room slowly opened. Dan walked in, keeping his head low. Shutting the door behind him, he walked over and gingerly sat down on the chaser section of the couch.

The two sat in silence for a while, not sure how to deal with the tension between them.

They had never been at such odds with each other before.

Sure, they've had their arguments, but nothing that led to such hurtful words and an actual physical fight.

Brian took a breath.

“Um, how...how are you doing?” He quietly asked.

Dan raised his head.

Both men's eyes widened seeing the damage they had done to the other.

They were both still covered in slowly fading bruises.

Brian could now halfway open his right eye. The swelling having gone down in the previous week.

Brian could see a hint of bandages just above Dan's shirt collar, letting him know his chest was still wrapped for his ribs.

Dan's eyes fell upon Brian's right arm, seeing the cast. He hadn't wanted to believe Barry.

That he had actually broken Brian's arm, but the proof was now in front of him.

Dan turned away, clenching his eyes shut.

“Brian...shit man!” He choked out.

“I can't fucking believe I did all of that to you.”

Brian sighed, looking down.

“Dan, you're not the only one at fault. I almost broke your ribs and your nose.”

Dan looked up, anger in his eyes.

“But you didn't! I fucking broke your arm, Brian! I-I threw the first punch, said all those terrible things to you...” He trailed off, looking away in shame.

Brian took a breath.

“Dan. We both said and did some terrible things to each other, but...we have to move past this. This situation between us, and Arin, it's putting everything we've all worked for at risk.”

Dan nodded. Barry had told him what had been everyone’s concerns at the office meetings, and how they were getting close to a point of no return with the channel.

“Arin told me to tell you everything. I'll answer anything you ask .”

Brian was right.  They would have to fix things between them another time.

Dan couldn’t help but notice that Brian hadn’t called him Danny once.

Further proof of their current situation.

Putting that aside, Dan licked his lips.

This was the moment he had been waiting for. Been waiting for, for so long.

The chance to finally understand what was going on. What was being kept from him.

Now, that the moment was here, he had no idea where to start.

His thoughts went to the center of everything that'd happened, and suddenly he knew what he wanted to know the most.

“Alright. What is wrong with Arin? Does he have some kind of disorder or something?”

Brian nodded, actually expecting the question.

“Something like that. He has a condition, that's like a mixture between chronic stress disorder and conversion disorder.”

Dan eyes widened. How had he not known about this?

“A mixture? He hasn't been diagnosed?”

“Arin said he doesn't want to go to therapy or be prescribed any medications. I think he's afraid of being institutionalize."

Brian continued.

“When Arin gets too stressed or overwhelmed, he withdraws into his mind.”

Withdraw into his mind?

Dan frowned.

This really sounded like Arin should be getting professional help for this. But if Brian went along with it, it must be okay.

Maybe.

“Is that what's happening when he gets quiet and basically ignores everything around him?” Brian nodded.

“It's part of his coping mechanism.”

Dan began nodding to himself, several things making sense now.

But still.

“Okay, Okay. So how does this involve you?” He asks, eyes slightly narrowing.

Brian rubbed his hand across his face. He could hear the barely repressed accusatory anger underlying the Dan's voice.

Great.  

Now, Brian was feeling defensive.

Brian sat up straight, and met Dan's gaze head-on.

His piercing blue eyes, meeting Dan's angry brown ones.

“I'm involved because Arin and Suzy decided I was the best choice to help.”

Dan's teeth clenched.

He'd known Brian long enough to hear the slight jab in that statement. Dan shook his head.

Why was he still trying to pick a fight?

Hadn't he already done enough?

He really needed to get himself under control, especially since he was now getting answers.

“Look, Brian. Fuck, I'm sorry.”

Brian sat back, feeling himself calm down.

He wasn't sure if he was happy or upset to know that he was right about not being able to predict either of their actions.

Things between them really were screwed up.

“It's okay. I'm sorry too.”

“What is it that you are doing for Arin?”

“Something he and Suzy discovered. A part of his coping. So, when Arin withdraws, he needs someone to take control of him.”

“Wait! What do you mean take control?” Dan interrupted, sounding alarmed.

Brian frowned.

How could he explain this in a way Dan would truly understand?

While he had picked up on it immediately, Brian didn't think Dan would get it without an analogy of some sort.

“Remember when we did the second Starbomb album?” He asked.

When Dan nodded, he continued.

“Did you for any one given moment wish someone could take the responsibility of the vocal arrangement from you?”

Dan gave him a confused look.

“Why would I ever want that? That's my job, man.”

Brian just looked at him pointedly.

Okay, obviously Dan needed to think on this.

He thought back to that time, how they unwisely decided to compose and create an album in such a short period of time.

How stressed he was with the deadline looming, writing the lyrics, doing Grumps, trying to sing the different harmonies at his best.

How bad he felt for dropping out of Ross' Guild Grumps, cause he was beyond exhausted, from so many long days, and sleepless nights.

How he wished it was all taken away, if just for a day, have someone tell him what to do, so he could refresh himself and not have to think about anything.

Dan thought about what Arin did for the channel.

A lot of it, he didn't even know about, until Brian started doing them.

He had never really thought about everything that went into running the channel, and Arin was either in charge of or participated in most of their activities.

He was literally running a company that also gave it's employees creative freedom for their own projects as long as they played and talked over video games every week.

Arin had taken on the majority of the responsibilities and despite not being able to do everything he wanted, he made sure everybody else did and was taken care of.

Dan looked down as a wave of shame filled him.

He didn't even notice the toll it was taking on his friend, none of them did. Even Brian didn't notice.  Dan was the one who told him Arin just got into certain moods occasionally.

Even though he now understood and could empathize with Arin, there was still more to it, wasn't there?

Sure, Brian had taken a lot of the load for Arin, but he could have just as easily done that.

So, again, why Brian and not him or any of their other friends?”

“Alright, I understand why he withdraws and how he deals with it. That still doesn't explain you, Brian.”

Brian ran his hand through his getting too long hair.

He didn't want to do this.

He was unsure of how Dan would react and in turn how he would react to Dan's reaction.

Things were already so unstable between them.

But Arin had told him to tell Dan everything, and despite his hesitation, he would comply with Arin's wishes. He took a deep breath.

“When Arin is being controlled, there's a...side effect.”

Dan quirked an eyebrow.

“What's that?” He asked getting a bit worried, but still curious.

“He, um...he becomes aroused.”

Dan's mouth jaw dropped.

Brian would have laughed, if the discussion wasn't so serious.

“A-Aroused?” Dan stuttered, not quite believing him. Brian nodded.

“Yeah. Personally, I think it's a subconscious sexual preference he has, that becomes unwillingly released, but I never confirmed it.”

Dan nodded his head in understanding. That was believable, considering how Arin would always talk about being submissive and letting others have power over him.

Dan had thought those were jokes.

“Alright, so, you take control of him and he becomes aroused. Then what?”

Brian scratched the back of his neck.

Talking about this was harder than when he and Suzy talked about it.

“Well, whoever is in control of him, becomes his...Dom.”

Dan's eyes couldn't get wider if he tried.

“This some kind of BDSM shit?”

Brian nodded, not really appreciating the way Dan said it.

Dan sat back into the couch, one hand gripping his hair in disbelief.

“No fucking way.”

Three of his closest friends were doing that kind of stuff?

“How..How the hell is this helping him?” He asked, struggling to wrap his head around the concept.

He couldn't understand. From what he knew that kind of stuff involved strange kinks and a lot of pain.

Arin was into that?

“It's just an easier way to help him reset or refresh his mind and body. The sensation of pain and pleasure brings him back from his withdrawals and taking control of him, helps him to reset.” Brian continued to explain, seeing the utter confusion in Dan's expression.

“What with the continued growth of the channel. Arin was getting busier and busier, and when he's overwhelmed, he'll withdraw and need a session. That was the normal routine for him and Suzy, but several months ago, the sessions stopped working like they used to. They decided to try increasing the intensity of their sessions and it worked, but treating Arin the way he needed, made Suzy uncomfortable.”

“So, they came to you?” Dan stated, interrupting. Brian nodded.

“They decided, I was the one who could consistently bring the level of intensity Arin needs now.”

Dan looked down, picking at the lint on his shirt.

It all made sense.

Brian wasn't going into detail, but Dan could imagine, Arin and Suzy doing light BDSM until it was no longer effective. Then trying something harsher and figuring it out it worked.

Dan had watched BDSM porn before and it was not for him at all.

He couldn't imagine doing that kind of stuff to his best friend.

Dan paused, it dawning on him.

That had to be why Arin didn't come to him.

He knew Dan wouldn't be able to help.

Yet, Dan let his jealousy control him and made things even harder for his friend. Made things harder for everyone.

Dan felt himself deflate into the couch, feeling numb.

He really had fucked things up.

“Brian?”

Brian looked up, meeting his partner's eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I'm really sorry.”

“...I'm sorry too.”

Dan clenched his hands into fists, anger rising within him.

“I'm so fucking stupid! Why didn't I just leave it alone?”

“Dan, you didn't know. I can see how it looked from the outside. We really should have told you something at least.” Brian gently said.

Dan was barely listening. Then a thought occurred to him.

“And you two having sex is part of all this. Isn't it?”

Brian hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah. When his withdrawals get really bad, or he initiates them himself, like the one you witnessed, it takes more to bring him back. Sex grounds him in reality.”

“And that's what happened last week?”

Brian didn't answer, having realized the contradiction of what he had just said.

Dan noticed too.

“Wait! But you only kissed him then. You just said sex would bring him back.”

Brian shifted, suddenly very uncomfortable.

This was getting too personal.

“Brian, please...don't...don't lie to me anymore.” Dan pleaded.

Brian sighed, closing his eyes.

“Suzy told me that with his bad withdrawals, it's not just the sensation of pain and pleasure that reaches him. It's the feelings of the person in control that brings him back. He needs to know he is wanted back.”

Brian opened his eyes, and looked down.

He had no idea how Dan would react to that but if information.

He may have been too vague.

He didn't know.

Dan sat in silence as he thought over what he was just told.

The sensations of pain and pleasure reached him, so that must be why Brian grabbed Arin's crotch, and the feelings of the person brought him back.

Dan assumed the kiss, helped with getting Brian's feelings through.

Dan stilled.

Arin needed to know he was wanted.

Brian's feelings...brought him back.

Dan thought back to the night not long before the fight.

The cryptic words Brian had left him with.

_“Danny, I know how you feel about Arin and I completely understand. I just...need you to know that I would never intentionally betray or hurt you.”_

Dan looked up at his long time older friend.

Brian was hunched over, his head hanging low and both hands tightly clenched into his pants.

Dan took a breath.

“You love him.”

It wasn't a question.

Brian tensed, before relaxing. He sighed.

“Yeah...yeah I do.”

Brian sat back up and let his head fall back against the cushion.

“Despite already knowing how you felt, that kid still wormed his way in. I...I fucking love him, Dan.”

He then groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“I'm the fucking worst.”

Dan shook his head, feeling sympathetic.

“No. No, you're not. You're an amazing friend, who did whatever it took to help Arin. It's not your fault that in the process you fell for him.”

Brian gave him a small smile, glad Dan was taking everything so well.

Dan ran a hand through his curls, letting out a breath.

“So, here we are. Both of us in love with Arin....where do we go from here?”

Brian shook his head.

“Honestly, I don't know.”


	22. Chapter 22

Suzy entered the kitchen and placed the mail onto the table.

She took a seat and flipped through the new fashion magazine she had ordered.

It was mid-afternoon on her day off and she was taking it easy for a bit. She got up and began brewing some tea.

Her husband should be getting up at any moment and they needed to have a talk.

It had been a little over a week since Brian had brought Arin home after the fight with Dan.

Arin had taken to staying in bed most days, refusing to go to work.

Seeing the state Brian was in that night really scared him.

Suzy knew he was at least having text conversations with Brian.

After finding out Arin’s feelings for Brian, Suzy had been thinking of how to bring up the subject and figure out what they should do.

But she knew that Dan and Brian needed to talk first. Arin had told her that he told Brian to tell Dan everything that night.

Brian had actually texted her a few hours ago, letting her know that Dan now knew everything, but they didn’t know what to do now.

Suzy knew that it would probably depend on Arin, what would be their course of direction.

She poured herself a cup of tea.

Taking a sip she leaned against the counter, smiling down at their two cats,who were rubbing against her legs.

A few minutes later Arin shuffled into the kitchen. He was still in his pajamas, his hair a mess, dark circles under his eyes.

He pulled out a chair and flopped down at the table, resting his head on his arms.

Suzy put her cup down and poured one for her husband. Placing it down on the table in front of him, she took a seat.

“How are you doing?”

Arin sighed, raising his head up, and nodding his thanks for the tea.

“Okay? I guess. I just…” He paused, running a hand through his hair.

“I’ve been wracking my brain, and I…I just don’t know what to do, Suze.”

She placed a hand over his. It looked like he was ready to talk.

“Well, how about we just take this slow and figure out things one at a time?”

Arin closed his eyes, and nodded.

“Alright. How do you feel right now?” Arin hummed to himself.

He was feeling a lot of things.  

Too many things and it was overwhelming.

It was actually surprising he hadn’t had any withdrawals over the week. Maybe his mind was too exhausted even to withdraw, or maybe Brian’s forceful retrieval of him had changed something.

Arin didn’t know, and right now it wasn't a problem to be worrying about.

He thought over Suzy’s question.

“I feel…confused, sad, hurt, angry...a lot of things really.” Suzy nodded.

That was to be expected, especially after everything that had happened.

Brian had told her that after they figured everything out with Arin, he and Dan would probably have to take some time to fix themselves.

Their relationship was still very unstable, even with everything in the open.

Suzy could believe it. She had noticed how he had been saying Dan instead of Danny now.

There was a lot that needed to be worked on.

Starting with Arin.

It was up to Suzy to find out what Arin wanted to do, without actually telling him.

She had noticed that he hadn’t been having any withdrawals, but she didn’t want to risk putting more on him, stressing him out.

She needed to ease him into opening up on his wants and needs.

Suzy lightly squeezed his hand.

“I know it’s confusing and a lot all at once, but don’t worry. We’ll figure all of it out together.”

Arin gave her a grateful smile.

“What would I do without you?”

Suzy returned the smile, leaning over and giving him a warm kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, so let’s sort out your feelings first.”

Suzy met his eyes, and held his gaze, she squeezed his hand again.

“I need you to be completely honest with me Arin.”

She waited for him to nod before continuing.

“How do you feel about Brian?”

Arin looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“Suzy…you know I lov-“

“We’ll get to that later.” She interrupted.

“We’re talking about Brian now, not me.”

Arin took a breath, meeting her eyes.

“I’m…I love him.”

“What kind of love?” She pressed. She needed to know it was genuine.

“Um, romantic kind…I, like I want him to hold me…to kiss me…I…I want to have sex with him. Fuck! I want to be with him, Suzy!”

Suzy sat back. She had figured as much from his behavior, but she had to be sure and Arin needed to say it aloud.

Suzy then slowly moved her hand away from Arin’s. Now for the other part.

“And what about me? How do you feel about me?” She asked quietly.

She had never voiced it before, not wanting to worry Arin, but she often thought about where she would stand, if he ever returned Dan’s feelings one day.

Thanks to her own interference, the potential for Arin falling for Dan along with Brian had increased tremendously.  

And it had actually happened with Brian.

She hoped that, despite it all, she would still have a place, somewhere in his heart.

Arin grabbed her hands with his own.

“Suzy. Believe me. I still love you. All that stuff I want with Brian, I…shit! I still want all of that with you. I feel the same for him as I always have and always will for you.”

He squeezed her hands, his eyes filling with tears, as they pleaded with her to believe him.

“I love you so much and I-I don’t think I’d be able to keep going without you in my life. Please, believe me Suzy. I…I can’t lose you…”

Suzy smiled. She reached up brushing the tears from his eyes. Her hand sliding down to cup his cheek.

“I believe you.” She said, her chest feeling lighter.

The heavy feeling she had been ignoring since Arin and Brian’s first session finally dissipating.

Arin then pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. He breathed deeply, taking in her scent.

He knew deep down he didn’t deserve her, didn’t deserve her love, but he was overjoyed that she still wanted him, still wanted to be with him.

He could feel the relief flooding him, as she hugged him back.

Things would be okay, their relationship would be okay.

He could love Suzy and Brian and she would still always be there for him and he would always be there for her.

After a few more minutes, the two slowly parted. Suzy brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

“Okay, so now that that’s cleared up.” She paused.

“Arin. How do you feel about Dan?”

Suzy watched with a bit of worry, as his eyebrows creased.

“I…like him?” He said, as if unsure.

Suzy frowned.

“Just like him?”

Arin looked down.

“I know I’ve joked with him a lot, but I was never really serious…at least I don’t think I was.”

Arin crossed his arms. He had never seriously thought about it, not really.

“I guess it’s crossed my mind before, but I-”

Arin rubbed a hand over his face.

“I-I don’t know. The more I think about it…like yeah, there’s a fondness? I mean, he's my best friend.” He continued, struggling to comprehend what he was feeling.

“Compared to the way I feel for you and Brian, it’s small…I guess.” Suzy nodded.

It looked like Arin was in the early stages of developing feelings for Dan, but Brian’s insertion into the picture may have derailed them.

Which was somewhat of a shame.

Suzy was positive that nothing would have happened between Arin and Brian if not for the catalyst of his condition.

Arin groaned, letting his head fall to the table.

“I don’t even know how long Dan’s felt this way about me. At least, now I understand why he's seemed off all this time. He’s been in love with me all along and I had no fucking clue!”

Arin gripped his head in frustration.

“And now that I know, I can’t even fucking return his feelings! Dammit!”

Suzy reached over, rubbing his back.

“You can’t help how you feel, Arin. Dan may just have to accept that.”

Arin looked up at her, despair in his eyes.

“Suzy, you heard what happened. This whole time, Dan was jealous. He was in love with me, and I was basically in a relationship with Brian.” Arin looked down, sighing.

“And now…I want to be with Brian, but…I can’t. It’ll hurt Dan…I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

Suzy sat back, taking a breath.

Well, now she knew how Arin felt and his proposed course of action.

She had a strong feeling Brian would agree and step back from his feelings for Arin too, especially since things between him and Dan were not fully resolved.

Suzy wasn’t sure what Dan would do.

Before everything happened, she would have believed that he would step away and let Arin and Brian be together, at least for Arin’s happiness.

But that would be unfair to Dan.

Not to mention his actual behavior over the situation had been erratic and out of his usual character.

Though, she did have to take into account, she had never seen how he behaved when in love.

it was hard to overlay this jealousy-prone, violent Dan over the self-sacrificing, passive one she had known for years.

There didn’t seem to be any readily available solution that could remedy the situation they were in.

Arin and Brian loved each other, but would most likely stay away from anything deeper than friendship for Dan’s sake.

Everything looked impossible. It was the worst kind of love triangle.

Any way you looked at it, Dan, or Arin and Brian would be left hurt and wanting if they couldn’t figure out some kind of compromise.

Suzy placed her hand over Arin’s.

On top of not really solving anything past Arin's feelings, she still had to tell him, he was scheduled to do a Grump session with Dan in a couple of days.


	23. Chapter 23

“Dude, how many more episodes do we have left?” Dan groaned.

Arin spared him a tired glance.

“About ten more.” He replied stifling a yawn.

Dan let out another groan, his head falling back on the couch.

“Damn, that's a lot.”

Arin shrugged, getting up to switch the games.

“It can't be helped.” He said quietly.

Arin and Dan were in the grump room, doing their scheduled session, and it wasn't going very well.

The two hadn't had a chance to talk things through, having to get episodes recorded quickly, so they could be edited and uploaded, resulting in things remaining tense between them.

They had made it through the first couple of episodes, having decided to let the lovelies know that, yes, some things were happening in their personal lives and they were still dealing with them, and also asking them to be patient and thanking them for their continued support.

Arin plopped back on the couch, acutely aware of the increased bit of distance between himself and Dan.

He had been caught off guard when Suzy had told him that he and Dan had to do a session, or the channel would be in trouble.

She had also told him that Dan now knew everything.

Even though he was the one, who told Brian to tell Dan, Arin was nervous about Dan's reaction.

Brian had called him and assured him that Dan had taken most of it well and understood why Arin hadn't come to him.

Arin had asked Brian, how things were between him and Dan, remembering the fight he had witnessed.

Brian had hesitated in answering, saying he and Dan would have to work some stuff out later.

Hearing that, made Arin feel guilty, knowing that he was the reason their relationship was so strained, the reason Brian wasn’t calling Dan, Danny anymore.

Arin didn't voice it, though. Not wanting to worry Brian any more than he already had.

Arin had spent the next couple of days worrying. Wondering what would happen.  

If he should call Dan and talk to him before the session, or just let things remain like they were.

He had really wanted to talk to Brian about it, get his guidance.

Now, that Arin knew how he felt, he craved Brian's presence, but Brian seemed to be keeping some distance between them.

It hurt, but Arin understood.

Brian and Dan probably needed time away to think things through.

Arin probably did too, but he still wanted to be with Brian, which he knew was selfish, and unfair to Dan.

They both were in love with him, something Arin still had trouble wrapping his mind around, and he was in love with Brian.  

A fact neither Dan nor Brian knew and he was probably going to keep to himself.

They were in a delicate situation, and if felt like one wrong move could potentially shatter everything between them, beyond repair.

There was no way around the fact, the three of them would have to talk, but it'd have to wait.

The whole situation had put all of their livelihoods in jeopardy.

So, now here Arin and Dan were, forcing their way through a much too soon, but desperately needed grump session. The two of them trying to ignore the multiple elephants surrounding them in the room.

It was late, coming on three in the morning.

They had been grumping all night since early evening.

The reason it was taking so long was they had to scrap countless episodes, due to lack of dialogue or just plain awkwardness between them.

It was frustrating.

Dan ran a hand through his curls, letting his eyes fall close.

This was the first time in his run as Not-So-Grump, that grumping felt like a painful chore.

At least the last hour of episodes were passable, thanks to the two grumps being overly tired.

It was easy to fall back into their old routine, when they were too exhausted to think about what was being said.

It just so happened that those types of episodes became some of the most popular ones they've done.

Dan opened his eyes and glanced lazily over at Arin.

His mind wandered to everything Brian had told him. Arin's condition and how he dealt with it.

Dan also thought about all the shit he had put him through with his jealousy.  

He had noticed, Arin hadn't touched his phone once during the session, obviously for his sake, thinking of his now known feelings.

That was Arin, always thinking of others before himself.

And the one time he was forced to do something for himself.  To reach out for help and try to get through his own problems, Dan had swept in and messed it all up.

He wanted to make it up to Arin, but didn't know how.

Dan continued to stare through heavy lidded eyes.

Arin was struggling to stay awake, much like himself. His head nodding, then jerking back up.

His long brown locks lightly shaking from the movement, hanging loosely around his soft gentle features.

Dan felt the urge to reach out and tuck the strands behind his ear.

His gaze traveled down Arin's  body.

From the fitted black shirt, hugging his broad chest and muscular arms, to his gray sweatpants riding low on his curvy hips, down to his bare feet. Dan sighed.

Arin was beautiful.

Dan let a smile spread across his face, gradually forgetting all the shit going on between them and Brian.

He could feel the years of longing for Arin welling up within him.

It was becoming suffocating.

Dan's hand moved, reaching out to the other.

He just wanted to hold him, kiss him, make love to him.

Dan wanted him so badly.

Arin's head slowly turned towards him, seeing the movement out his peripheral.

“You alright?” He sleepily asked.

Dan's mind couldn't comprehend the question. His mind tired and filled with love for the man before him.

He just wanted a taste.

That should be okay, right?

Just a taste of what Brian already had.

Arin didn't move, as Dan's hand came to rest on top of his head, and began to comb through his hair, then traveling down to softly cup his cheek.

Arin shivered at the contact.

“I love you so much.” Dan whispered.

Arin's heavy eyes widened a fraction, before falling close, as he leaned into the touch.

“I know.”

Dan returned his hand up to Arin's hair and resumed running his hand through. Letting the strands flow over his fingers.

Arin hummed in appreciation, absentmindedly wondering if everyone knew the gesture completely relaxed him.

“But you don't feel the same.” Dan continued.

Arin hesitated. He could tell it wasn't a question.

“I...I don't know.” He answered honestly.

Even with his talk with Suzy, all he knew for sure was that he loved her and Brian and that there may be something there for Dan.

His feelings for Dan were hard to identify and his sleep deprived mind wasn't helping.

That didn't stop the spark of hope from lighting within Dan's chest.

He closed the distance between them on the couch, sitting flush against Arin's side.

He cupped the Arin's face between his hands, pulling him close until their faces were only inches apart.

“Why don't we find out together?” He murmured, leaning in.

Arin nodded, his head tilting, as Dan pressed their lips together.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explicit sex warning

 Arin felt his eyes slide close, as Dan's lips glided against his own, hot, wet and slow.

Reaching up, he grabbed onto Dan's arms, as he pressed closer, melding their lips together.

Dan was elated, when he felt Arin respond.  

It urged him on even more, convincing himself that this was right, what he should have done all along.

He moved even closer, causing Arin to lean back along the length of the couch.  

Dan followed, not breaking the kiss, positioning himself over him.  

He hovered above Arin's body, not quite touching yet, as they continue to move their mouths against one another.  

Dan swiped his tongue along the seam of Arin's lips, silently asking permission.  

Arin obliged, letting his lips part, allowing Dan's tongue to slip inside.  

A deep low moan crawled out of Arin's throat, as Dan's tongue explored every inch of his mouth leaving no space untouched.  

Their tongues danced together, wetly sliding and caressing over each other.  

Dan let his body come to rest on top of Arin's, pushing their growing clothed erections together, causing both to groan at the friction.  

Arin's arms wrapped around Dan's back, pulling their bodies even closer, moving his hips to grind against Dan's.  

Dan moaned, pulling back, the need to breath becoming a must.  

He pushed himself up, using his arms for balance and looked down at his younger friend.  

Arin's skin was bright red, his hair messily framing his face.  His mouth partially open, trying to catch his breath. His lips red and swollen, glistening with spit.

Dan's dick twitched.  

God, Arin was so fucking beautiful!  

He bent back down, crushing their mouths together.  

Arin's body shivered beneath him, bucking up into his still grinding hips.  

Dan smiled against the gasping lips, Arin wanted this, was open and willing, and his for the taking.  

He could hear a small voice in the back of his mind telling him this was wrong, that he shouldn't be doing this.

For the life of him, his sleep addled mind couldn't remember why this would be wrong, and if it was wrong, it shouldn't feel right, Dan reasoned with himself, successfully squashing the intruding thoughts.  

Dan sat up, pulling off his shirt. He reached down taking Arin's off too, tossing both garments somewhere near the wall.  

He ran his hands over the broad chest beneath him, lightly flicking the perked nipples with his thumbs as his hands traveled down and back up.  

Arin's cheeks darkened at the attention, still somewhat self-conscious about his figure.

Dan smiled, bending back down. He began placing small kisses along Arin's neck, licking and nipping as he went.  

Arin's body trembled, small whimpers escaping his throat at the light nicks of pain mixed with pleasure.  His own dick now straining against his sweatpants.  

Dan continued moving down, licking and sucking every bit of skin he came across, his hands following, kneading, caressing, leaving a path of heat.  

He was practically worshiping Arin's body, letting him know just how much he meant to him, through his actions.

He paused at Arin's nipples.  Licking against each of the small nubs, swirling his tongue and lightly gripping with his teeth around one, while his hand squeezed and pinched at the other.  He alternated between the two.  

Arin's nipples were extremely sensitive and the attention was turning him into a quivering mess beneath Dan’s body.

Dan continued moving downward, until he reached the large tent in Arin's sweatpants.  

Arin watched with hooded eyes as Dan hooked his fingers into the waistband also catching his boxers and pulled.  

Arin's cock sprang forth, slapping against his stomach.  

Dan wrapped his hand around the shaft, earning a sharp gasp from above him.  

Arin's cock was already leaking pre-cum.

Dan spared a glance, locking eyes with Arin's sleep deprived, lust filled gaze.  

He then stuck out his tongue and slowly licked around the head, getting every drop of pre-cum before swallowing, his heated gaze remaining on Arin.  

Arin  shuddered at the display, as Dan continue to lick up and down the sides of his hardened cock.  Dan's tongue returned to the head, playing with the slit, coaxing more pre-cum out.  

Arin let his head drop back as he moaned loudly.

Dan then opened his mouth sliding the heated flesh in.  

Arin's body jerked.  

With a trembling hand, he reached out and dug it into the head of curls, groaning as Dan's tongue wrapped all around his cock as he took him in further.  

Arin's breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, as Dan began to bob up and down, groaning from the slight pain of his hair being pulled.

Dan reached beneath himself, unbuttoning his jeans and grabbing his own stiff cock and started stroking.  

He kept up a steady rhythm as he continued sucking Arin off and stroking himself, building up the heat within their bodies. Arin's grip was steadily tightening, strings of curses falling from his lips at the immense pleasure he was feeling.

Dan quickened his pace, hollowing out his cheeks, going as far as deep-throating Arin's cock.  

“Fuuuck!”   Arin cried out, as he began to thrust into the wet cavern.  

He was getting close, the heat pooling to his center.  

Dan held his head still and let his mouth be fucked, breathing harshly out of his nose, his own hand keeping pace with Arin's thrusts.  

He could hear Arin's breathing quickening, and it sounded like he was trying to say something, but the next thing Dan knew, his nose was forced against Arin's stomach as the larger man's body arched off the couch.  

Dan could feel the heated liquid shooting down his throat.  

He moaned around the cock in his mouth, as he came all over his still stroking hand.  

The sensation of feeling Arin's cum sliding down his throat pushing him over the edge.  

Dan swallowed as much as he could, some dribbling out of the corners of his mouth.  

Dan pulled off, when the death grip in his hair let up.  He wiped the cum, that had escaped, from his chin, licking it off his fingers.  

The two men's eyes met, both breathing heavily as they came down from their orgasms and struggled to keep their already tired eyes open.  

Arin reached forward, pulling Dan towards him.  

Taking his soiled hand, he sensually licked each finger, cleaning every drop of cum off.  

If Dan hadn't just come and wasn't already so tired, his dick would have probably stirred back to life.  

When Arin was done, Dan bent down, catching his lips again, both reveling in the taste of each other.  

After a few more moments, their movements began to slow.  Their bodies finally giving in, to their exhaustion.  

Dan collapsed on top of Arin, his mind sinking into the darkness of sleep.

 -------------------------

Some time later, Dan stirred.  

He blinked sleepily.  His mind slowly clearing, pulling from the grip of slumber.  

He shifted a bit.  

His bed felt weird.  

He shifted again, stilling when a low groan sounded from beneath him.  

The fuck?

Opening his eyes fully, he saw that he was in the grump room.

The tv was still on, looping through the opening credits of some game.  

That's right.  

He and Arin were doing a grump session, but where was...oh.  

Dan looked down to see a half naked Arin, still asleep beneath him.  

His flaccid dick as well as Dan's hanging out in the open.  Dried cum on both of their bodies. 

Dan grabbed his head, as the exploits of the previous night/early morning flashed through his mind, making him slightly dizzy.

“Oh, shit!”  he whispered, pushing himself up and off Arin’s body.

Tucking himself back into his jeans and doing the same for Arin, he straightened up, running his hands through his hair, as he sat back against the couch, his eyes closing.

Shit!  

What the fuck was he thinking?

How could he?  

A throat cleared.  

Dan's head snapped up.  

He turned to his right, where the sound came from.

Dan's eyes widened, his mouth falling partially agape.

There, sitting on the chaser part of the couch, was Brian.  

He was bent forward, leaning on his knees, hands clasped together.

His hair was disheveled and his face looked worn, dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for days.  

He smiled sadly at Dan.  

His eyes shining brightly.

“Mornin'.”

Dan felt all the air escape his lungs. 

Brian? 

Here? 

Now?

A wave of shame overcame Dan.

He had now done, what he believed Brian was doing to him since the whole situation with Arin started.

Dan had betrayed Brian.


	25. Chapter 25

Dan’s mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but closed again.

He didn’t know what to say.

What could he say?

Dan’s eyes fell onto Brian’s hands. He was clenching and unclenching his hands, his right hand moving slower due to the cast.

He wondered if Brian was going to finish what he started the night of their fight.

He knew he deserved it.

Dan still couldn’t believe what he did.

Brian had revealed his feelings for Arin to him, and what does he do, sleep with Arin and try to claim him for himself.

Dan felt terrible, but there was still a part of him that didn’t regret what he did.

Despite everything, he still wanted Arin.

The two men continued to sit in silence, neither knowing how to bring up what needed to be said.

Brian looked away from his partner. Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh.

Seeing Dan’s reaction, he guessed he’d have been shocked if he was in his place too.

Brian had woken up early to come into the office, not being able to sleep.

In fact he had been having trouble sleeping for the past week.

Rachel was worried, and asked him why he was staying away from Arin and Dan, specifically Arin.

His original intent was to just let his injuries completely heal, and to think over what could be done about the situation.

But he didn’t know how Arin felt about everything going on, so there was a large gap in any solution he would come up with.

He actually had kept in contact with Arin, on and off, with texts, just checking up on him. He found out that wasn’t enough.

He longed to be with Arin, to the point the distance was becoming unbearable.

Brian had hoped that the feelings would pass.

When he and Dan had their talk, he was worried, but it went better than he expected.

He and Dan had come to a peaceful truce over Arin, at least he thought they did.

Brian was understandably concerned when he had found out about Arin and Dan’s session, believing it to be too soon for them.

But looking at Arin’s peaceful sleeping face.

He assumed it went well. Better than well, considering the worry, fear, and what looked to be determination he could see in Dan’s eyes.

Brian had a feeling it would come to this.

That Arin would find his way to Dan eventually.

His involvement most likely sped everything up, creating a short detour.

Dan’s jealousy pushing him to do things he’d never normally do.

His determination to fight for Arin, must have awaken Arin’s own feelings for Dan.

Brian blinked back the tears gathering in his eyes.

Even though he figured it would happen and he’d have to bury his feelings for Arin.

It still hurt.

It fucking hurt so much.

Brian now knew how Dan had felt for the last several months.

The feeling of betrayal.

He could understand why he exploded with anger, attacking him, fighting for answers.

Brian ran a hand through his hair.

But there was one difference between him and Dan.

Brian wasn’t going to fight for Arin.

Arin had clearly made his choice.

He would just have to live with that.

Steeling himself, he looked up at Dan, whose eyes were still on the ground in front of him, shivering slightly from the lack of his shirt.

“Dan.”

Brian waited until their eyes met before continuing.

“You know everything now. I’ll…I’ll step back. Arin is yours…just…take good care of him.”

Dan’s eyes widened.

That was it?

Brian was just going to give up?

Dan knew he should be feeling satisfied, or something similar, but he didn’t.

Brian loved Arin too, and to see him resign himself. To give up on something he obviously wanted, didn’t sit well with him at all.

But what could they do?

As Dan racked his brain for a response, Arin began to stir awake.

Arin groaned groggily, rubbing his eyes.

He sat up and looked around, his gaze falling on Dan and then Brian.

He paused.

Why were they here?

What was going on?

Arin jerked, as the memories of the previous night flooded back.

His eyes widened.

“Fuck!”

Brian chuckled sadly.

“Morning to you too, Arin.” He then stood up.

“I’m going to get to work.” He said moving to leave the room.

“Brian, wait!”

“Wait!”

Both, Arin and Dan cried.

Brian paused, turning back.

He looked so tired and defeated.

He at least managed a half-hearted smile.

“It’s okay.”

He turned to Arin.

“I’m sure Dan can take over if you need anything.”

Arin felt his stomach drop.

He didn’t want Dan to take over.

Didn’t want him to fill Brian’s spot in his heart.

He didn’t want Brian to think he could just be replaced in his life.

Not after all they’ve been through.

All they’ve accomplished together.

Arin wanted Brian.

He loved Brian.

Brian turned away, heading to the door.

Arin scrambled to his feet.

Rushing forward he wrapped his arms around Brian's waist, burying his head into his back.

“Brian! I’m sorry! Please, don’t go!”

Brian didn’t respond, but he also didn’t pull away.

Dan watched in silence.

This was his fault, just like most of everything else that’d happened between them.

He clenched his fists.

“Brian.”

Getting no reply, he continued on.

“Don’t blame Arin. I…I took advantage of him. We were both exhausted. He probably didn’t even really know what was going on.”

Brian’s eyes narrowed.

There it was.

The anger Dan had been expecting.

“I don’t believe that.”

Dan’s brow rose in confusion.

“What?”

Brian’s head tilted towards Arin’s.

“Arin, did you consent?”

Arin  tensed, shutting his eyes.

He had.

Arin clearly remembered Dan asking him if he wanted to figure out his feelings together and he had nodded.

“I…I was tired, but yeah…I did.”

Brian felt his shoulders sag.

Mostly in relief that Dan hadn’t taken advantage but also in despair that Arin had wanted it.

Arin quickly raised his head, feeling the movement.

“Brian, I can explain!”

“Arin. There’s no need to explain anything.” Brian quietly said, trying to ignore how his insides seemed to be icing over.

“You’re no longer having withdrawals. I did what you and Suzy wanted me to do. You should be okay, now. You don’t need me anymore. We can both move on.” He said coldly.

Arin clenched his eyes shut.

He didn’t like this.

Didn’t like the way Brian was disregarding him, as if he didn’t care, like what was between them didn’t matter.

Like, Arin only needed him for his condition.

But Arin could see it for what it really was.

Brian was trying to protect himself.

Building the walls around his heart. Closing himself off, to make it easier.

Arin wasn’t going to let him.

He tightened his grip around Brian as he heard him sigh.

“Arin, this is for the best.” Brian said quietly, prying Arin’s arms off of him.

“Brian! Please.” Arin cried. He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes.

“Don’t leave me! I need you!”

Arin buried his head into Brian’s back, the tears streaming down his face.

“I fucking love you, man!”

Brian and Dan froze.

This was the first either of them had heard any confirmation of Arin’s feelings.

“You…love me?” Brian hesitantly asked, not wanting to get his hopes up.

He felt Arin nod against him.

Turning in Arin's arms, Brian gently lifted his head up by the chin, looking deep into his chocolate brown eyes, looking for any sign of deception.

Finding none, Brian could feel his insides warming, he pulled Arin into his arms hugging him tightly.

Arin let out a sob, as relief flooded him.

“You really love me?” Brian mumbled against his neck.

“Yes, Brian! I love you! I love you so fucking much!”

Brian tightened his grip, his entire being filling with joy.

Arin loved him, and he loved Arin.

Dan was still sitting on the couch, averting his eyes from the display of emotions.

He actually felt a bit of happiness for Brian, but he also felt his old friends, jealousy and anger, but this time Dan knew how Arin felt and he couldn’t do anything about that.

Arin loved Brian and…it...well it hurt.

It hurt to know that he would never have Arin in the way he wanted.

That he would be the one to bow out and suffer in silence.

“I’m sorry, I should have said something sooner but-” He trailed off, wiping his eyes.

Brian nodded understanding.

“The fight.”

Arin looked down.

“Yeah, and I didn’t know how you felt about me until you brought me back. Then finding out how Dan felt. It was too much to handle all at once.”

Speaking of.

Brian nodded in Dan’s direction.

“What about Dan?” He carefully asked.

It was way past time for them to be completely clear and honest with each other.

Dan tensed.

What would Arin say?

Was there still a chance?

Could things actually work out?

How could it?

Arin shook his head.

“I’m-I’m still not sure.”

Dan felt his heart clench. Arin hastily continued.

“But, there’s something there, something genuine, and I-”

Arin paused, looking Dan in the eyes.

“I don’t regret what happened between us, and I…I wouldn’t mind it happening again.”

Arin then released his grip on Brian, stepping back.

“I…I want both of you.” He whispered, dropping his head.

Arin looked away, wrapping his arms around his bare chest.

He was scared.

He wasn’t sure how either of them would react.

Would they even want a person like him?

Someone so selfish?

Brian stepped forward, he raised his hand, gently cupping Arin’s cheek.

Arin swallowed nervously, meeting Brian’s calm gaze.

He was honest with his answer, he did want them both, even though he still couldn’t positively identify how he felt for Dan.

But he knew whatever it was, it could grow into love.

The same kind of love he felt for Brian and Suzy.

“Is…is that okay?” He cautiously asked.

Brian continued calmly staring at the Arin, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb.

The three of them had all seen what hidden feelings, silent pining and secrets could do to them.

Maybe, just maybe they could make this work.

Brian leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Dan looked away.  

Angry at himself for the surge of troublesome feelings that rose within him.

Brian pulled back, smiling.

“It’s okay.”

He turned to his partner.

“Dan?”

Dan paused in his self-berating thoughts, and looked up.

“…Yes?”

Brian reached out a hand towards him, slipping his right arm around Arin’s waist.

Dan stood up and hesitantly took the hand, his eyes searching Brian’s for some idea of what he was doing.

Brian pulled Dan towards them, sliding his arm around his waist.

Smiling softly, he looked between the two.

“We’ll be alright. The three of us, we’ll figure this out together.

Arin let out a relieved sigh, wrapping his arms around both men, pulling them all close together.

“Yeah, together.” He whispered.

Dan wrapped his own arms around them, smiling in agreement.

Things would be okay.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter
> 
> Epilogue is next

Arin yawned as he stretched.

He twisted his back from left to right, groaning as he heard the familiar pops.

“You doing okay, baby girl?”

Arin smiled, looking behind him at the couch.

Dan was sitting there giving him a concerned look.  Arin just nodded, sitting back down.

“Just a bit stiff. That last game took way too much concentration.”

Dan wrapped his arm around Arin, pulling him close.

“Let’s take a break then.” He suggested. Arin nodded.

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

Arin snuggled further into Dan’s side. Dan gave him a soft smile.

Tilting Arin’s head up, he placed a small kiss on his lips.

Arin sighed in contentment.

It had been a couple of weeks since he, Dan and Brian decided to try and work out a relationship between the three of them.

Arin would have to say it was going pretty well.  

He had his new relationships and a bigger plus, he was no longer having withdrawals.  

There wasn’t much to go on figuring out why they stopped, but Brian had a theory.

That Suzy’s love coupled with his own love was enough to keep Arin  grounded permanently.  

Brian had to admit it sounded really farfetched, not to mention cheesy as hell, especially coming from someone like him, since he was such a man of science.  

Arin didn’t care one way or the other, as long as they were gone and he was no longer a burden to them.

Arin and Dan had went into overdrive recording episodes, making up for lost time, and creating a new backlog.

The episodes were going well.

They were about three weeks ahead now, and if they sounded a bit gayer than usual in the new episodes, the lovelies didn’t seem to be complaining.

They just seemed satisfied that whatever was going on was settled.

Although the Conspiracy Grumps subreddit, was still going strong.

Arin loved their sessions. He and Dan would sit curled up against one another and every other break would almost always result in a makeout session, and Arin greatly enjoyed those. Not to mention, Dan was an amazing kisser.

Arin wondered at how he ended up with two boyfriends with such skills.

The two hadn’t gone further than makeouts though.

Something was telling Arin to wait.  

Despite things going well, Arin could still feel something was off, but it wasn’t between him and his two boyfriends.

Things were still weird between Dan and Brian.

Arin, at first didn’t notice, but after a while he had realized after his grump sessions with Dan, it would seem like he was handed off to Brian.  

He would spend the day recording with Dan and then spend his evenings with Brian.  

The three of them were rarely together, which wasn't what he had expected after Brian had brought them together that day.

The three of them were hardly together at all.

Arin tried bringing it up to Brian but he had said not to worry about it, that he was feeling things out.  

Arin decided to trust his judgment and pushed it to the back of his mind.  

As long as things were still peaceful between them, it had to be okay.  

Arin’s thoughts then turned towards Brian.

His relationship with the oldest grump had really blossomed.  

Now, that they both knew they felt the same for each other, the bond between them had grown exponentially.  

Arin loved spending time with Brian.  He was such a loving and caring boyfriend.  

It was like when Brian cared from him after their control sessions but turned up to eleven.  

And the sex between them was mind-blowing.  Arin could feel every ounce of love Brian had for him and at times it was overwhelming knowing he was loved so much.  

All in all, Arin was happy.  

He still had trouble balancing the three relationships and at times he couldn’t.

Usually ending up with Dan getting the short end, but he seemed to understand. He knew Arin was trying and was getting a bit better.  

So, it came as a huge shock when one night while he was curled up in bed with Brian and he said he and Dan were leaving.

“You’re leaving?”  Arin asked, sitting up to look Brian in the eyes.  

Brian sat up too, resting his back against the headboard.  

“Yeah.”  He simply said.  Arin frowned.

“Uhh, wanna tell me why?”  

Arin didn’t understand.  Things were finally going great between them.  

Sure, he had some trouble giving Suzy, Brian and Dan equal time, but he was improving.

Even if it was trying at times.  

Arin wondered if he had done something wrong, like maybe he was the cause of things still being tense between Brian and Dan.  

Hell, he was for the last several months.

Maybe he was spending too much time with Dan or maybe Brian decided they wouldn’t work.    

“Stop thinking so hard.”  Brian said cutting into his thoughts.  

“This actually isn’t about you. It’s between me and Dan.”  

Arin scooted closer, pressing his bare chest into Brian’s side.  

“Did…something happen or can I not know?” He asked, feeling concerned.  

He didn’t want to be the only one happy in their new relationship.

Brian wrapped an arm around Arin’s waist and kissed his forehead.

“It’s hard to explain.”  he began.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed things are still…weird between us, right?” Arin nodded.  

He had, but it was Brian who had told him not to worry.

Brian continued.  

“The thing is…this tension between me and Dan…it’s getting worse and we have to figure it out before things break down completely between us.”  

Arin looked down in thought.  

“Do you really not know what’s wrong?”  

Arin couldn’t believe that Brian wouldn’t have some kind of guess or something.  

Brian sighed, running his hand over his stubble.  

“I have an idea, but I won’t know for sure until we’re alone.  We can’t figure it out here.”  

“Cause I’m distracting you…both of you.” Arin said, finishing what was unsaid.  

Brian didn’t reply.  

Arin wasn’t wrong.

It was hard to focus on what was up with him and Dan, when all he wanted was to be with Arin.  

He was sure Dan felt the same way. Probably even moreso, considering how long he's wanted Arin.

Arin leaned his head on Brian’s chest.

“When do you guys leave?”  

“In a few days.  We’ll be gone hopefully just a couple of weeks.”  

Arin tensed.  

That seemed like such a long time, especially now that Arin finally felt content.  

Brian bent down kissing Arin’s forehead.  

“It’s not that long and I know if Dan and I can figure things out, our relationships with you will be all the better.” Arin nodded.  

He didn’t like this.  He didn’t like this at all but he knew it had to be done.

 ---------------

A few days later, Arin and Suzy were standing outside, near the driveway of their home.  

Brian and Dan had stopped by before leaving for their trip.

The two had decided to take a road trip to Oregon.  Seeing as they’d been there multiple times and it was a relaxing location for them both.  

Arin hugged Dan, giving him a light kiss on the lips.  

“Be safe and text me.”  

Dan laughed.  

“Don’t worry Big Cat.  I will.”  

Dan then released him and went to hug Suzy.  

Arin stared at Brian.  

There was so much he wanted to say, but didn’t know how.

Brian reached up, cupping Arin’s face.  He seemed to understand.

“It’s alright, Arin.  It’s only for a little while.  We’ll be back.”  He calmly said, pulling Arin’s face towards his.  

The two men’s lips met, easily sliding together.  

Arin pulled back, letting out a breath.

He then wrapped his arms tightly around Brian, pulling him close.

Brian smiled, his own arms sliding around Arin’s back.  

“I love you.”  Arin whispered, nuzzling into Brian's neck.  

“I love you too, Arin.”  

The two then pulled apart.  

After Brian hugged Suzy, he and Dan got into Brian’s car.  

Arin wrapped an arm around Suzy as they both waved, watching the car pull out and drive down the road, out of sight.  

Suzy looked up at her husband.  His eyes still staring down the road.  

“Don’t worry, Arin.  It’ll take a lot to break those two apart.  It’ll be okay.”  

Arin smiled, pulling her close.

 She was right.  

The three of them had gone through some difficult times and they had all come out of them stronger.  

Brian and Dan would work through whatever was between them and they would come back home.  

Back to Arin.  

Arin let out a sigh, smiling softly.  

“Yeah.  I do believe everything will be okay.”


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys.
> 
> Explicit NSFW up ahead

Arin placed the gamepad on the back table. With a sigh he sat back onto the couch.

He was in the grump room alone, oddly spending his day off at the office, trying to keep his mind off of things.

It'd been a little over three weeks since Brian and Dan had left on their road trip.

Arin missed them.

Both of them.

A lot.

Brian and Dan had tried texting him regularly but after a while the texts slowed and then stopped altogether.

Arin had to force himself to not worry.

They had things to work out between them and unfortunately to be able to do that, they had to distance themselves from what Arin still sometimes believed to be the core of their problems.

Him.

Brian and Dan would never be able to fully heal with him around distracting them.

Arin had a lot of time to think over the past few weeks.

With Suzy's help, he had come to realize that, yes, he wanted Brian and Dan.

While his feelings for Dan still weren't as strong as his feelings for Brian, he knew, eventually, they would get there.

He didn't regret what he did that night with Dan. He only regretted hurting Brian, and told him as much.

Brian being Brian had been completely understanding and had told him he was willing to share him with Dan, if and when the time came.

Suzy had been supportive also. As long as he still loved her, he was free to extend his ever growing love to both Brian and Dan.

There were still times that Arin felt like he was being greedy, wanting and accepting the love from three people.

Not many people did that.

The most worrying thing though, was how to go about balancing separate relationships with all of them, and if Dan would even be agreeable to it.

Arin wondered if he would have to keep a schedule, just to make sure he was giving equal time to all of them.

Before he wasn't, but he felt bad because if anyone's time with him was to get cut, it would be Dan's time.

He just couldn't figure out a compromise for all of them.

A good thing though, was Arin no longer had to worry about withdrawing anymore.

He could think through things slowly even while feeling overwhelmed. He was spending most of his thoughts on what to do.

It was difficult, but he knew he had to do it.

Suzy had suggested he should just wait until the two returned and discuss what to do with them.

She was probably right.

She usually was.

Arin looked up, hearing the door to the engineer room open.

He frowned. No one else should be at the office. Everyone having already gone home for the day.

Arin shrugged, things changed.

“Suzy said he was here.” A familiar, low voice stated.

Arin stilled.

Standing up quickly, he turned to see Brian and Dan entering the grump room, both with wide smiles on their faces.

“...Brian...Dan...” He breathed, not quite believing they were actually there.

He watched wide-eyed as both men approached him.

Brian reached him first. Pulling Arin down to meet his lips.

Arin melted into the kiss.

God, he had missed this.

How Brian's lips seemed to mold over his, fitting perfectly, moving languidly and purposefully.

Before it could get too heated, Brian pulled away.

Arin whined at the loss of contact.

He then felt a large hand on his face, turning him to meet Dan's eyes.

Arin glanced quickly at Brian, who nodded, his smile widening.

Arin leaned forward capturing his lips. Dan quickly wrapped his arm around Arin's waist, pulling him closer. His other hand cupping his cheek, as their lips moved against each other.

Dan pulled back, taking a quick breath.

Releasing his grip, he stepped aside, allowing Brian to fill the spot he just occupied.

Brian grabbed Arin's arms and pulled him towards the grump couch.

Taking a seat, he motioned to his lap.

Arin gave him a confused look, but straddled his lap.

Brian pulled him forward against his chest, running his hands along his back.

“Missed you so much, princess.” He murmured into his neck.

Arin wrapped his arms around Brian's neck, burying his head into his shoulder.

“Missed you too.”

He then looked up and turned towards Dan, who had taken a seat next to Brian.

“Missed both of you.”

Dan smiled, reaching forward to brush Arin's hair behind his ears.

“Missed you too, Big Cat.”

Arin returned the smile.

He then sat back, looking down at Brian.

“Is everything okay? Between you guys?” He asked cautiously.

The two men shared a glance.

The past few weeks were definitely something. So much had happened between them.

The two had learned even more about each other and had even found out the real reason the situation with Arin had messed things up so badly between them.

Brian and Dan had come out of those weeks together, closer and stronger than ever.

Dan let out a laugh. “Yeah, we're okay. Better than okay.”

Arin raised an eyebrow. He was obviously missing something.

Not to mention the fading bruises he could clearly see on each of their faces.

Arin quickly glanced down to see if there was any damage to Brian's cast. He mentally sighed. There wasn't anything new on it.

Seeing Arin's worry and confusion, Dan leaned forward giving him a quick peck on the forehead.

“We'll tell you all about it someday.” Arin nodded.

He turned back to Brian.

“And what about us?”

Brian lifted a hand caressing Arin's cheek.

“What do you want Arin?”

Arin took a breath.

He knew it would all ultimately depend on him.

On what he wanted.

Putting himself before others was not something he usually did, but this was one situation that needed it.

If things were ever going to potentially work between the three of them, he had to be a bit selfish.

“I...I still want...both of you.” He quietly admitted, looking down.

“I just don't know if I can handle three separate relationships.”

Brian and Dan shared a smile. Brian moved his hand down, lifting Arin's head by his chin.

“You don't have to handle it alone, Arin. Dan and I are willing to be with you together.”

Arin blinked.

“Like a threesome?”

Dan shook his head.

“More like a Triad. We each have a relationship with you and each other.”

Arin's eyes widened.

“You mean, you and Brian...” He trailed off.

Brian nodded.

“A lot has happened and changed for us Arin.”

Arin ran a hand through his hair, letting out a soft laugh.

This was something he never would have saw coming but it did make things a bit easier.

He could be with Brian and continue to develop his relationship with Dan.

He wouldn't have to balance both relationships, as they would be separate but also together, and Brian and Dan would be working on their own relationship.

Brian took Dan's hand in his own, pulling him closer, kissing him softly on the lips.

He turned back to Arin.

“It's going to be tough, no matter how you look at it, but we're willing to try and make this work.”

Arin nodded, looking between the two men.

“I want to try too.”

Dan leaned forward, pressing against Arin's lips, as Brian's hands made their way underneath his tank top, sliding up the sides of his torso.

Arin hissed as Dan kissed him.

His body had somehow grown sensitive, having not felt Brian's touch for so long.

Brian's hands continued sliding up his chest, pausing to play with his nipples.

Arin broke the kiss, groaning low in his throat. He leaned forward resting his head on Brian's shoulder.

His body was trembling from the sensations.

Dan raised a hand, lightly combing his fingers through Arin's hair.

“You okay, Arin?” Brian asked, as his hands traveled back down his back.

Arin nodded.

“...Yeah...just a bit...overwhelmed.”

Brian and Dan's hands stilled.

“You want us to stop?” Dan asked, concerned.

Arin quickly looked up, shaking his head.

“No. I want this. It's just...been a while.”

Brian pressed a kiss atop his forehead.

“We'll be gentle.” He assured.

Arin smiled, bringing his and Brian's mouths together. Their lips moved slowly, pushing and pulling.

Dan's hand resumed it's movement in Arin's hair, causing him to hum in appreciation.

Brian's hands continued moving down, his hands splayed out to cup Arin's rear.

He squeezed gently, before dipping his hands into Arin's shorts. Brian rubbed his palms all over Arin's ass.

Arin moaned, his hips beginning to rock, pushing his growing erection into Brian's lap.

“Fuck. Brian.” Arin whispered. Brian snorted.

Brian then glanced over at Dan, who was watching Arin.

Hunger evident in his eyes.

“Hey, Danny.”

Dan forced his eyes away from Arin and looked at his partner.

“Yeah?” He replied. His voice deep and husky.

“You haven't tasted this. Have you?” Brian asked, squeezing Arin's ass again.

Dan's eyes widened, as he shook his head.

Brian then turned back to Arin.

“Arin.”

Arin looked up, having not been listening. His focus on the hands cradling and caressing his ass.

“Hmm?”

“You want Danny to fuck you?”

Arin looked back down, groaning loudly.

Now he knew what he had been waiting on. Why he didn't want to take things further with Dan.

Arin had wanted, needed Brian's approval.

“Yeah. Fuck yeah.”

Arin turned to look at Dan, his eyes hooded and filled with desire.

“Dan...please...please fuck me.” Arin gasped.

Dan felt his entire face heat up. He swallowed thickly.

He glanced over at Brian, who nodded. His smirk widening.

Dan looked back at Arin, who just embodied the definition of sex and quickly nodded.

“Okay. Yeah. Fuck! Yeah, Arin. I'll fuck you.” Dan mumbled, pulling him towards him, crushing their lips together.

Arin moaned loudly as Dan's tongue once more invaded his mouth, while Brian's large hands continued fondling his ass.

The two younger men pulled back, breaking the kiss and panting heavily.

Brian smiled, looking at both of his boys. Their faces red and lips shiny, bruised and swollen.

Brian felt his pants tighten even more.

He then removed one of his hands from Arin's shorts and held it out, open towards his partner.

“Danny.”

Said man looked down, confused for a second, but then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lube.

Brian took it from him and looked up at Arin.

“Alright, baby girl. Take off your clothes for us.”

Arin pushed himself back and off of Brian's lap and stood before them.

Brian and Dan's eyes were locked onto him.

Arin felt his entire body heat up.

The raw hunger and desire he could see in both of his boyfriend's eyes, fueling his arousal.

After his clothes were on the floor, Brian pulled Arin back onto his lap. Arin's rock hard dick pressed against his clothed stomach.

Arin leaned forward placing his hands onto Brian's shoulders and lifted his bare ass into the air.

Brian chuckled.

“Eager aren't you.” His voice now taking on a deep gravely tone.

Arin let out a half breath half laugh.

“Just a bit.”

Brian opened the bottle and poured some onto his two index fingers. He then reached around, pulling one cheek with his other hand. He began circling Arin's hole with the slick digits.

Arin shuddered.

He hadn't been penetrated since Brian and Dan had left.

Brian could feel the tenseness in Arin's muscles. He pressed a kiss onto Arin's shoulders.

“Relax baby. I know it's been a while. Relax and we'll make you feel real good.”

Arin closed his eyes, taking a breath and then another, trying to match his breathing to the rise and fall of Brian's chest.

He was nervous.

This would be his first time with Dan and Brian would be there watching.

It filled him with excitement and anxiety.

Would he always feel like this when the three of them were together?

Wanting to please both of them.

Hoping they wouldn't realize he really wasn't worth it.

Arin suddenly gasped, being yanked out of his thoughts.

He felt a hand wrap around his hard cock, stroking slowly spreading the precum from the head up and down the shaft.

He then felt another hand at the base of his back tracing small circles.

Arin turned his head to see Dan staring back at him, with love and concern shining in his brown eyes.

“It's okay, baby bear. Relax for us. Don’t think, just feel. I don't want to hurt you.”

Arin nodded, resting his head back on Brian's shoulder.

He focused on the slow movements of Dan's hands and the whispers of comfort from Brian, and cleared his mind.

After a few minutes, his body relaxed.

Brian, sensing the change, pressed a finger in, feeling little to no resistance. He pumped the finger in and out, slowly letting Arin get reacquainted with the sensation.

He then pressed in a second finger. A small gasp escaped Arin lips before he groaned at the feeling.

Brian began scissoring his fingers, working the tight muscle open.

After a while he poured more lube onto his fingers and added a third one and then a fourth.

Brian wanted to make sure Arin was fully prepared.

During their trip, he had found out that Dan was larger than him and wanted things to go as smoothly as possible between him and Arin.

Arin's body continued trembling, small whimpers and gasps tumbling from his mouth, as Brian persisted in preparing him.

“Brian. I think I'm ready.” Arin said, after a while.

“You sure?”

Arin nodded.

Leaning forward he kissed Brian.

“Yeah. I'm sure you could fit your fist in there now.”

Brian laughed, as he removed his fingers and Dan removed his hand.

“Don’t tempt me.”  He joked.

Arin sat back with a smile and turned to his co-host turned lover.

“How do you want me?”

Dan swallowed. His mouth drying, as he thought of all the positions he could have Arin in.

“Um, how about on your back?” Dan said quietly, his cheeks darkening.

“I-I want to see you.”

Brian smirked.

“The classic missionary. It's mine and Arin's favorite position.”

Arin grinned widely as he stood up and laid back on the floor.

Brian pulled a pillow from the couch and helped put it behind Arin.

Arin then spread his legs in open invitation.

“Come on Dan. I'm ready.”

Dan's breathing stopped.

He still couldn't believe this was happening.

Standing up slowly, he looked down at the beautiful display.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, reveling at the lingering taste of Arin and Brian.

He never thought he'd see the day, Arin would be on his back, hair fanned around his head like a halo, his body flushed red, his cock twitching and leaking against his stomach and presenting himself as if he was a special gift for him.

Dan shook his head.

Not just for him.

Brian and Suzy too.

Arin loved them all.

Maybe in different ways, but he did and gave as much of himself as he could to all of them.

Dan could feel the joy swell within, being included among those Arin loved the most.

Dan suddenly jumped when he felt hands reaching around him.

Brian was now standing behind him, holding the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up slowly.

Dan felt himself melt at the touch of his partner, as he lifted his arms letting the garment slide over his head.

Brian ran his hands down Dan's lean body.

Reaching his pants, he quickly unbuckled and unbuttoned them. His hand slipping into Dan's now exposed boxers, Brian grabbed hold of Dan's hard length, earning a groan of pleasure.

Dan pushed his jeans and boxers down, letting them fall to the floor, as Brian stroked up and down his cock.

Brian leaned close to Dan's ear.

“Look at him Danny. Look at our boy. So accepting and open for us. Look at how much he wants you. Wants you to fill him up.”

Both Dan and Arin shivered at the sensual deep tone of Brian's voice.

“I want you to fuck him good. Okay, Danny? Can you do that for me? Fuck him so good, he'll feel it for weeks?”

Dan's head fell back against Brian's shoulder as Brian continued to stroke his cock.

“Fuck! Yeah Bri. I can do that.”

Brian gave his cock a squeeze before rolling a condom over it.

He pushed on Dan's shoulder, forcing him to kneel between Arin's legs.

“Then do it Danny. Fuck him. Let Arin know how much you love him.”

Dan nodded wordlessly.

He scooted forward until he was hovering over Arin's body. His dick posed at Arin's entrance.

Dan met his eyes.

“You really want this Arin?” Dan asked, still a bit unsure.

Arin nodded.

“Yeah Dan. I want you inside me. I want to feel your love.” He said, reaching his arms around Dan's neck, pulling them close and letting their lips come together.

Dan pressed forward. The large tip of his dick spreading the tight ring of muscle.

Arin groaned into the kiss.

The stretch burning just a bit.

Once the head was in, Dan pulled back and looked down at Arin, panting. 

"You okay?”

Arin swallowed, his chest rising up and down rapidly.

“Yeah, keep going.”

Dan took a breath and continued to push, a deep groan escaping his throat.

Even after all of Brian's preparation, Arin was still so tight. His inner walls squeezing around his cock was almost unbearable.

Dan kept pushing until his hips came to a stop, flush against Arin's rear.

Arin moaned, his head lolling to the side.

“Fuck Dan. So fucking big.” he gasped.

Dan smirked.

“I get that a lot.”

Brian moved to kneel beside Arin's head. He wiped away some of the sweat gathered on Arin's brow.

“How's he feel baby?”

Arin looked up, meeting Brian's eyes.

“Fuck Brian! So good. He feels so good. My ass full. Full of Dan.”

Dan's body heated up, turning red at the praise he was receiving.

He then pulled out a bit before pushing back in. Arin moaned.

Dan repeated the motion, setting up a steady smooth rhythm.

Rolling his hips, thrusting in and out.

Dan watched Arin's every move. Committing every twitch, shudder and all the different sounds to memory.

He had no idea his best friend was so vocal and he sounded beautiful.

Dan's name and random strings of curses followed by grunts and moans falling out of Arin's mouth.

Brian ran a hand through Arin's hair.

“Damn. You two look so fucking hot. At this rate I’m gonna come in my pants.”

Dan laughed.

“I'd like it more if you came inside of me.”

Brian froze looking at his partner who was grinning widely, all his teeth showing.

Brian could feel a smirk forming on his lips.

“As you wish, Danny.” He said, before grabbing the lube and moving behind him.

Brian ran a hand along Dan's back, trailing the outline of his spine. The touch causing Dan to shudder and falter in his rhythm.

Brian's hand continued downward, coming to a stop at the top of his rear.

Brian poured more lube onto his fingers and ran them up and down along Dan's crack.

Dan shivered.

“Shit, Bri.” He gasped.

Brian smiled as he spread the cheeks apart and dove down, attacking the pink puckered hole with his mouth.

Dan cried out as he felt the Brian's tongue lapping over the sensitive ring, pointing and penetrating through the opening.

Dan's rhythm went to hell.

The tightness from Arin's ass and the tongue fucking from Brian throwing him completely off.

After a few more minutes, Brian pulled back, licking his lips loudly.

His eyes meeting Arin's, who was looking at him, a question in his gaze.

Brian could easily read him.

Know what he wanted.

He moved forward and leaned down, bringing their lips together. Arin's mouth fell open, allowing the kiss to deepen, wanting a taste too. Brian happily obliged.

Above them, Dan groaned, watching the two share the taste of his ass.

Brian pulled back, leaving Arin gasping for air and turned to capture Dan's lips. They groaned as their tongues and lips slid wetly against each other.

Dan could feel himself hardening even further. Arin's gasp, making it clear he had felt it too.

The taste of Brian, Arin and what he assumed was him all mixed together was overwhelming.

Dan pulled back from the kiss, before he lost himself.

Brian smiled at him, obviously able to see how he was feeling.

Brian then returned to his spot behind Dan and began prepping him.

Dan started rocking back into the fingers that were pumping in and out of him. Brian didn't need to prepare him as much, as they had been fucking near constantly towards the end of their trip.  Dan's body having become quickly used to it.

Still, Dan couldn't help but whine when Brian removed his fingers.

His body trembled as he heard the rustle of Brian taking his clothes off.

A few seconds later, he felt two large hands grab his thin hips, stilling his movements.

Dan was held firm, buried deep within Arin.

Brian pulled his cheeks apart and pressed forward.

Both men groaned as Brian's dick breached the tight ring and continued to sink until coming to a stop, bottoming out against Dan’s ass.

Dan was now lying almost completely on top of Arin.

The double sensations causing his body to warm and shudder all over.

Brian rubbed a hand along his back.

“You good?”

Dan nodded against Arin's neck.

“Yeah Bri. I'm good.”

“Arin?”

Dan felt Arin's head nod.

“Yeah. I'm okay.”

Brian nodded satisfied and began pulling back, bringing Dan's hips with him, causing Dan's cock to slide almost completely out of Arin.

Brian then snapped his hips forward.

The force pushing Dan back in.

Arin and Dan cried out. Both of their prostates being hit.

Brian repeated the action. Arin and Dan cried out again.

Brian had found the perfect angle.

It was as if he was fucking them both at once.

The three men’s bodies rocked together in one fluid motion.

Brian kept up the rhythm.

After a while, Arin 's moans grew louder and more erratic.

“You close, baby girl?” Brian asked, not letting up in his movements.

Arin's eyes closed shut as he clung to Dan's shoulders.

“Fuck. Yeah. I-I'm gonna come.”

Dan couldn't say anything. Too overwhelmed but he could feel the heat coiling within too.

Brian somehow could tell.

“Both of you come for me. Come for me now.” He growled, increasing his speed and pounding into them harder.

Three more thrusts and both Arin and Dan howled as they were pushed over the edge.

Arin's cock spurting cum between his and Dan's stomachs and Dan coming, buried deep within Arin's ass.

Brian wasn't too far behind.

A couple of thrusts later, he stilled, deep within Dan, gripping his hips tight enough that bruises would be left.

His cock shooting the warm liquid into the moist cavern.

The three men panted loudly, gasping for air as they came down from their orgasmic planes.

Brian recovering first, pulling out slowly.

Dan groaned, feeling some of Brian's cum leaking out.

Brian then gently grabbed Dan's waist and helped the exhausted man pull out of Arin.

Pulling off the filled condom, he gently laid Dan down beside their younger lover.

Brian leaned over the two, caressing each of their flushed cheeks in turn.

“You two okay?”

Both nodded.

“Yeah Brian. Fuck!" Dan gasped.

“What he said.” Arin mumbled.

“Damn, that was intense.”

Brian smiled, kissing both of them before standing up.

“I'll be back."  He said, pulling on his boxers.

"Gonna get something to clean us up with.”

As Brian left, Dan turned towards Arin. He reached up a hand cupping his cheek.

“How was it?” He asked.

Arin grinned. “

Fucking amazing, dude!"

Dan laughed.

“Yeah. It was.”

The two closed their eyes, chuckling against each other.

Moments later, Brian had them all wiped down.

The three were back in their clothes and cuddling on the grump couch. Brian on Arin's left and Dan on his right.

Their hands and legs intertwined with one another to the point you couldn't tell who began where.

Arin let out a sigh, looking at both of his lovers.

Suzy had been right.

Brian and Dan had overcome their own problems and came out stronger.

Stronger for each other and stronger for Arin.

That strength solidifying their relationships.

Arin pulled Brian and Dan closer to him, reveling in the warmth and comfort.

He knew there would still be bumps along the road they were taking, but with his wife and his two boyfriends, Arin knew things would always come out alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you guys it's done. It's finally done. 
> 
> Grame Gump posted the fic that inspired me on Nov 13 2015. I posted the fic summary, I was at the time putting up for adoption, on Dec 15 2015 and posted the first official chapter on Dec 21 2015. I remember saying this would be a doozy and boy was it. 
> 
> I don't think I've ever written something so long, and still being a rookie writer, I can't believe how it's turned out and the bit of attention it's gained. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for sticking with me and supporting me through this long journey. 
> 
> Special shoutout to Saiq2004, who was my biggest cheerleader and has been here since the beginning. I very much appreciate the constant support and feedback you gave me. It really kept me going. Thank you.
> 
> So, that's it for this. One day I may write what happened between Brian and Dan on their trip, or maybe I'll leave it to your imaginations. Who knows. 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading.


	28. A/N

I’ve finally gotten around to editing this.  I feel like I have grown as a writer and wanted my first popular fic to reflect that growth.  

I fixed a lot of switching tenses, dialogue and spacing issues.  Fixed some awkward sentences.  Added a few bits of extra info to make some things clearer.  

Overall I basically just cleaned it up so when I reread it, I don’t get annoyed at my earlier writing.


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